An Open Letter to Tony Abbott's Wife

Dear Mrs Abbott,

Please don't ban your husband, Tony, from wearing speedos in public. I know that the humble budgie smuggler in normal, polite society, should not be seen except on professional athletes, regular lap swimmers and boys under twelve, but as the current taste police I'm willing to grant your husband an exception. I think you should be very proud of your husband's physique. He's doing very well for an aging fellow. Nice pecs too.

However it would be appreciated if you kept him in the house when he's about to spout off his misogynist, "lame, gay, churchy loser" views. I know he's the Leader of the Opposition, but I'm sure you have lots of jobs around the house that can keep him busy. Keep him reigned in, that would be lovely.

Thanks in advance,

Ms P.Behr