The Gateway

The last words of my last post have been quite prophetic.

Taking the some of the gloss off of my imminent five week holiday is the knowledge that I am about to be made redundant from work. Whether this means that I walk out of the door on Friday and never go back to Tin Can, String and Whistle, or if I come back from holidays and have six weeks left in the joint is to be finalised. At the moment it looks like it may be the latter, but I'm up for either eventuality.

My time as den mother to twenty five integration engineers is coming to an end. Hmm.

The great thing is that I know that this may be one of the best things to ever happen to me. I get a modest pay out. There is lots of work out there at the moment. I've been terribly bored for six months in my current job, really only hanging around for this holiday. As much as I love the people, I'm over the way the company is run and if I'm brutally frank, I've had this hanging over my head for eighteen months. It's no surprise and I bear no ill will toward my direct management. The Hollow Men at the top, those faceless suits that direct the company I'm a little more scathing of, like Eliot's shadowy forms, shape without form, shade without colour, paralysed force, gesture without motion, they sit in Sydney making decisions about people's lives whilst running around the prickly pear.

I suppose on of the things I dislike most about working for large international companies is the facelessness of those making the decisions. We used to have a Senior Manager on the floor with us - an older gentleman, always there with a smile and a hello, knew the name of everybody on the floor, always asking about family and interests and the like. You felt reassured by the fact that he knew who you were. He left in disgust six months ago. Now the most of senior managers reside interstate - no idea who you are, what you do or what can be done. It feels like  a very inhuman way to do business.

Or maybe I'm just soft.

The great thing about these pending changes is that my mind's begun to expand. What do I really want from life? What is it I want from these changes? Where do I want to be? What sort of things do I really want. What is my value. I ask myself these questions and I see a lot more than what I'm getting from Tin Can, String and Whistle. And even better, I have five weeks to gently contemplate this - which is also a godsend.

I'm also fortunate that I've done all of this before and know how to go out and get jobs. This does mean dealing with recruitment consultants, who I hold in as much esteem as real estate agents and pyramid scheme traders, but they are a necessary evil. I've got friends starting to put good words in for me. My CV is in order, I just have to find out when I'm leaving, get out there and go for it.

Knowing I'll miss the people is hard, but then again, I've made some of the best friends I've ever had at this job - they're not going anywhere too far. And I know that I'll make more friends where I
m going. I won't miss being bored, scratching around for work or wondering when redundancy is going to happen.

In the scheme of things, this is one awfully big adventure.

Watch this space. It might just be epic.