The Cool Guy Questions

I'm trying to stay away from the news at the moment as it's all to grim. God bless America is all I can say.

Anyway, questions, as always, from Sunday Stealing.


1.) When was the first time you ever swore or said something profane?

I was probably around five years old. And I probably got a smack with the wooden spoon for it.

2.) Have you ever had unrequited feelings for someone?/Have you ever been friendzoned?

Of course. I thought that was love for the first thirty years of my life.

3.) What's a false assumption a lot of people have about you?

That I'm busy on a Saturday night. Normally I'm not.

4.) Have you ever questioned your sexuality?

To a point. I see myself as 90% heterosexual, but would not be dumbfounded if a woman came into my life. Generally, I see sexuality as fluid - but for the most part, I'm attracted to men. This is not to say that there have been times when I've been attracted to women. I'm human. It's cool.

5.) If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be and why?

I have a friend who died at 32. It was very sudden. He was in a pub after a football match with a pint in his hand when his aorta burst. He had so much potential. Such a pity. If my niece could be restored to life pre-leukaemia, maybe her - but I've come to accept her death.

6.) What did you do on December 12th last year?

I went to work and I think I had a mason's meeting in the evening.

7.) When was the last time you truthfully told someone you hated them?

I haven't. I strongly dislike, but I don't hate. Hatred is poison to your soul.

8.) What is your opinion on this song? What about this song?

What song? Okay here is a song that I got stuck in my head the other day. It's a dreadful song about a dad coming home to his child in the evening.(I didn't get the links when I copied this over, not that I could open the ones on Sunday Stealing's page)

9.) In less than four sentences, describe the entire plot of the last book you read.

"A Little Life" by Hanya Yanagihara

Over 720 pages follows the lives of four college friends as they negotiate life. The book centres around two characters, best friends, and one of these characters struggles to live after what can only be described as a horrific childhood.

This is an amazing book, but not for everybody, Parts are visceral in its descriptions of child abuse, rape and violence. Still, it's amazing and I'm glad I read it.

10.) Describe the appearance of the most untrustworthy person you can think of (they can be a person you've met or a made up person). Are they male or female or neither? What about their appearance makes them untrustworthy?

Orange, little hands, unruly comb-over. Scowl. Bad choice of ties. Double breasted suits. (I think you know who I'm talking about)

11.) What is the most cringe-worthy thing you've ever seen?

Doesn't Trump's inauguration count? That was train wreck telly at its best.

12.) What is your biggest regret?

Not getting therapy earlier.

13.) Do you have any cousins? When was the last time you saw them?

I have fifteen of the buggers. I saw a couple late last year. I talk to some of them regularly. Other's I haven't seen since 1999. The ones I'm close to I see once a year or so, and facebook is good for keeping in touch.

14.) Describe the worst birthday you've ever had.

I was 20. I had two exams on the day, had the wing mirror on my car torn off and all of my friends forgot. It wasn't a fun one. My 21st wasn't that great either as I'd broken up with my boyfriend in the days before.

15.) When was the last time someone provoked you to the point of violence?

Most of Tony Abbott's Prime Ministership - I was not far from getting out the baseball bat.

16.) OH NOES!!!! Someone has gotten you to drink a truth potion and now you have to truthfully answer every question you are asked!!! What's the worst possible question someone could ask you?

How often do you get take out?

17.) Describe, in detail, your first serious relationship. Describe how it ended.

I was 16. He was 17. He had spots. He went off to work, I stayed at school. Died a natural death after a year.

18.) Introduce your best friend. Tell the story of how you met.

Blarney. She's Irish from County Kerry. We worked together 16 years ago.

19.) To the introduced friend, has our interviewee lied in any of these questions? Are you surprised by any of these answers?

No. that's it.

20.) To finish up, what is your biggest irrational fear and how did you get it?

I hate huntsmen spiders. Hate the fuckers. They won't hurt you or kill you like half the flora and fauna around here, but shit they are ugly - and big. Flame throwers get rid of them  quite well.