RUOK Day

Level Four Lockdown: Day Thirty-Nine
Curfew. 8 p.m.
Mood:   I am OK (It's RUOK Day)

Black and White Photo Challenge: Day Ten 

Of the many things I'm thankful for, one thing I'm truly grateful for is the intensive therapy I went through in my thirties. It sorted out a lot of things, help make a better life for me and made me a lot happier. 

I've been monitoring my mental health for well over fifteen years. Like everybody, I have down days - but nowhere near as many as I did. I remember in my teens, twenties and early thirties crying myself to sleep most nights. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I thought it was normal. 

Anyway, the therapists I saw over time helped to see all these negative things for what they were - depression. On working out what was wrong with me, and accepting this, suddenly making things better became easier. Sure, it was hard work, but it was worth every minute of therapy, writing stuff down, sitting in my shit, facing up to dream group, you name it - to get a bit of equilibrium into my life.

Now, I say I manage depression - and do a pretty god job of it. It's managed daily - not because I'm depressed, but I know how easy it is to slide back. It means calling out the down days early, recognising when I'm spiraling - and doing something about it early. It means keeping my alcohol consumption down. It means exercising five or six times a week. It's removing toxic people and situations from my life. It's a constant thing. It's not hard and these things are so ingrained in my life now I don't think of it as mental health management. It's just the stuff that keeps me happy. 

I'm lucky. I know what works for me. I'm also aware of most of my triggers. And I'm not scared to go get some help if I need top up therapy. There's no shame in asking for help. When the down times do come, and they'renormally no more than a day or two in duration, I have a set path that seems to get me back on track. No alcohol. No watching the news. Lots of sleep. Keep regular habits. Eat really healthy. It's simple stuff, but thankfully it works for me. If the down days drag on, I find counselling. Letting the bad days drag is not worth it. The sooner you accept what's going on, the sooner you can sort it out.

But RUOK Day always gets to me a little. I know it's technically there to highlight suicide prevention. I just think it would be a lot nicer if people looked out for each other more, were more aware of all of this. 

Then again, I suppose that's what this day is all about. 

I'm hoping, If you're reading this, you're okay. And I'm always here, just for you, for what ever you need, whatever that may be.

I know I'm so very lucky with all this. 

Today's Song: