Turtle Sex and Whale Willies

Stuck for things to write tonight, I asked Cleo, my trainer, and Jay, my gym buddy, what I should turn my pen. 

The conversation went like this:

Pandora: What am I going to write about tonight?

Cleo: Turtle sex.

Pandora: What the?

Cleo: I heard it on the radio today. Turtles sound funny when they have sex.

Pandora: What the?

Cleo: Dr Karl said it, so it must be true. 

Jay: But how is she going to blog about that?

Cleo: I don't know, but it sounded fun. I bet Dr Karl is having a laugh as all of these people who heard him are looking up turtle sex on the internet. 

Pandora: If you want some fun stuff to ponder, look up grey whale willies on the web. 

Jay: Oh yes, they're impressive.

Pandora: Much more impressive than cat's willies - definitely unimpressive. 

And that is the sort of calibre my gym mates came up with.

Mind you, turtle sex is funny. Really funny. 

I don't think we need to go there. 

We also had a chat about how our anti-vaxxer, Trump loving friend is doing. We don't need to talk about that. 

Although we did find this funny about that precious presser Guiliani held in that car park near the sex shop - some inept staffer messing up the Four Seasons hotel with the garden centre perched between an erotic bookshop and a crematorium - though .

This spin off is priceless. And as somebody said in one of the papers, how can these idiots think they have a chance in the courts when they can't even get a press conference right? This ad for the lawn centre is priceless. 

I could talk about the mild thunderstorm asthma I got at the gym. Thankfully I had some ventolin in my gym bag. 

I could talk about having to get onto the gym website at 7 pm on the dot to book the 6 pm slot for the following week. There's only twenty 45 minute slots in the gym at the moment. They're like rocking horse poo. I got my spot - was off getting petrol. Sitting in the parked car on the way to the service station, I waited for the clock to tick over to 7 pm. All spots were taken by 7.02 pm. 

I could talk about how much I want to go to Richmond Oysters on Chapel Street for dinner. I just want a dozen oysters. Probably natural, maybe with a few bits on top - a bit of caviar, a squeeze of lime - all on a bed of shaved ice. But that is pushing it. 

I could talk about Remembrance Day - but not now. That's for a bigger post. I work with a member of the Army Reserves. He was touched I sent him a message reading 'Lest we forget' at 11.02 am. After the minute's silence. 

I was going to talk about receiving the poo test in the mail this afternoon. Nothing like the Australian Government making you feel old, reminding you to do your bowel cancer screening tests - which they sent to all over 50s every two years. It's good to be in a country where the government does this stuff for you, for free. 

There, I've talked about all the things I don't want to talk about. Maybe I'll find something more substantial to talk about tomorrow. Finding a topic to write about every day is  hard. 

Today's Song: