Last night's dream has left me frazzled. I've been dreaming a lot of late, but this one cut me to the core. It wasn't so much a bad dream, but a frustrating one.
First of all, I was working at the bank (so that would place me around 2014-2017). I know this from the atmosphere of the place. I had to go to Canberra. I was due at the airport at 11'o'clock. It was nearly ten 'o' clock in the dream. I had to get to the airport to go to Canberra. I didn't have my bag with me and my flight was in an hour, but I wasn't sure about the time of the flight. No matter how many times I checked the app on my phone, I couldn't get it through my thick skull that I really needed to get to the airport. I was also wondering how I could go home and get my stuff.
A workmate then loaned me a car to get to the airport. It was an old banger - a station wagon. I knew that I had to make this flight to Canberra and I was running late.
Arriving at the airport, I had to park the car. The airport was empty - nobody there. By this time, the plane was about to take off, but I had to park this old banger. The car park had one of those circular ramps and I had to go up and down these ramps a few times. It was like parking the old Valiant I learned to drive in back in the day.
I woke as I realised I wasn't going to make the plane and I felt very defeated.
The thing is, I will need to go to Canberra soon.
My most darling aunt, who's 94, is on her last legs. I'm having semi-regular chats with my cousins, who've told me to prepare myself. She's having more bad days than good at the moment - very frail, not really eating - generally, she's just given up - which at 94, when you're not in great health, is allowed.
One cousin said that if I wanted to see her, I should make my way up there to say goodbye. I noticed another cousin went up there this weekend. (I have five cousins from my aunt - two in Adelaide, one in Tassie, another here in Melbourne, and one with her in Canberra). Oh, adding to the mix, my Mum (her sister) is up the river on a houseboat for ten days.
Co-ordinating a funeral will be fun.
I know my aunt's being looked after where she is. In our conversations she used to tell me that she was being well fed and the staff were lovely. Over COVID, she managed to stay sane and well. But reports have been coming out over the last few months saying she's been a bit confused. When I spoke to her a few weeks ago she wasn't quite on top of things - normally she's been as sharp as a tack.
This getting old crap is not for sissies.
And I'm really hoping, really hoping, that this dream isn't a forewarning of her demise.
I know I will have to go to Canberra. I just don't really want to go under these circumstances.
Today's song:
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