Wednesday, May 18, 2022

Unpopular Opinion: Top Gun is a Crap Film

In preparation for going to see Top Gun: Maverick, I rewatched the original film. 

I don't think I've watched it for twenty years. This is the film that is the reason any time you go over the speed limit down Chapel Street when you're stuck behind a tram, you find yourself saying, "I feel the need, the need for speed..."

And surprise, surprise. 

Top Gun is crap.

It's not aged well.  Okay, to be fair, some bits have aged better than others. 

Harold Faltermeyer's music is one thing that got right up my nose from the opening bars. In 1986, the music was on pointe. In 2022. Not so much. I still have nightmares about some child at a barbeque playing the them on a Hammond organ at a barbeque. It's annoying. There's a reason why the Hammond organ has gone out of fashion.

Then there's the script. Which is dire. It's SOOOOOOO corny - and twee - and predictable. Allegedly Val Kilmer didn't want to be in the movie until the script improved. It still wasn't good, but he came on board. Personally, my favourite of Val Kilmer's roles is that of Gay Perry in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - but nobody has seen that. 


There's the gratuitous chatting up of women. The "You've Lost That Love'n Feeling" sceen is now cringeworthy. Truly dire. If any woman was to be chatted up like that these day's she'd be either calling security or telling the oaf to get stuffed.  

The  love scenes between Cruise and Kelly McGillis are equally cringe worthy. 

Okay, yes, the flight scenes still hold their own. Watching it on my 55" telly it had some impact. You feel like you're there -  and considering this was filmed in 1986, it was cutting edge then and it still packs an impact.

And sure, the volleyball scene is still fun to watch. 


And I'd forgotten Tim Robbins was in this. And a young Meg Ryan, before  plastic surgery became her worst enemy. (Looking on IMDB.com, both Robbins and Ryan are now in their sixties - very scary)

But it still doesn't diminish the fact that Top Gun is really, a crap film. 

Am I going to see Top Gun: Maverick? Probably. Jonella's partner needs a movie mate - and I am curious about a number of things - such as how Kelly McGillis is written out - and if they script has improved over 30 years, and whether Tom Cruise is just being Tom Cruise again . 

As somebody who doesn't really like Tom Cruise (except for his performances in Jerry Maguire - where he really got it in the bum, Tropic Thunder and the amazing Magnolia) I'll go along to this new Top Gun. With Stav. And I'll probably feel exactly the same as I feel about Top Gun 30 odd years on. 

At least I'm prepared. 

Next telly watch. The Godfather

Today's song: 




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