MAFS Episodes 1&2

I'll let you in on a dirty, little, grubby secret. My one reality program, the one that I watch religiously, the one that I tape, the one that I'll stream before work if I miss it - is Married at First Sight.

Yep. I'm a MAFS fan. This semi-intellectual, Shakespeare and Pixies loving, literature reading and writing gin snob, who really doesn't do reality television, is into that most trashy of trashy shows, MAFS. I don't do any other reality television with such gusto - okay, I used to like Masterchef - particularly the old style English one with Lloyd Grossman. I'll watch one of those bake off shows if it's on. But that's it. I don't watch the Kardashians. I have no idea what a Van Der Pump is. My Kitchen Rules just appears to be a bitchfest.

But I watch MAFS.

Religiously.

It's like so much make up, so many tattoos, so many injectables and boob jobs all in one place. It's fascinating.



I've been trying to work out why I love MAFS for the last seven years. The first series was good - and it was an experiment and it was unscripted and you watched the five couples as they tried to make a go of things. Of the first series, none of the couples are still together, though one did give it a good go, having a child in the process.

As time has gone on MAFS has got more scripted. There is the weekly dinner party, which seems to be a reason for the couples to get plastered and slag off at each other.

Then there are the couples which leave in the first few days, realising that the experts are about as credible as Donald Trump's skin colour.

I mean, who puts a shy virgin with a woman, though caring and sweet, who is also bisexual and into a bit of a gang bang now and then (Not judging her - judging the 'experts' for the match). How good is it to watch somebody lose their virginity on the telly during prime time?

Then you get those who come back. Coming in for a second chance. Right... (though saying that, poor John who came back last year seemed like a reasonable bloke and the ditzy yoga teacher who was disappointed he wasn't Samoan was never going be happy with a chain smoking salesman from the West of Melbourne).




For a few weeks of the year, you get to look at other people's (read stylist's) dodgy fashion choices (Gold jackets anybody? Go on, you know you want to - just like you did in 1987)



(or more 80's camo fashion... yeah, great style)


So here we are, two episodes in for the 2020 series of MAFS.

What have the experts done now?

There's poor, rather damaged Poppy. Mother of twin two-year-old boys. Relates the story of how her husband and an accident and fell into a co-worker's vagina. Using humour to mask pain - always a great move - nobody can see through that. She wants somebody to be there for her.

So they match her with Luke - the Fly In, Fly Out worker - who appears to be a bit dull, but a nice fellow - which is the main thing. They're both parents. They'll understand each other. They could have matched her with a complete arse, so this might be one to watch - like poor Jo last year.



Then there was Cathy, who's very pretty, a Kiwi who's giving this a try after having her last two partners cheat on her. She's developed a thick skin because of this. She's been matched with Ryan, a tradie who likes to party. They both seem okay. A little bit boring, but you can only wish them the best. They both seem like good people.

The second episode had the first lesbian wedding on MAFS. One rather scary* type, Amanda, damaged from her parent's non-acceptance lingering in the background, and Tash, an equally scary*, tattoo covered woman who appears a bit softer than the other. They make a lovely couple - look really good together, but I can see what could happen as two scary people are put together in this pressure cooker.

(*By scary I mean they both have very strong personalities)

Oh, then last but not least, Natasha and Mikey. Both are from the North Shore of Sydney. Both are probably members of the Young Liberals. Both are 'Alphas'. Both are into their work. She appears to be Cruella DeVille's slightly less evil sister. He seems a bit like the dopey second son running Mummy and Daddy's old age home tax rort (actually he seems like a genuinely nice bloke - his relationship with his disabled aunt has been highlighted). She comes across as genuine as her fake tan. He seems a bit lost. I'll give half odds they don't last past the honeymoon.

Are these real people?

It astounds me that such emotionally fragile people will put themselves up for this. And there are lot of emotionally fragile people on the show. It also has an unfortunate way of highlighting some of the not so good things about Australian society - toxic masculinity being the main one. People wanting the fairy tale being the other. And we won't talk about some of the VERY dodgy fashion choices.

I don't know. MAFS is my guilty pleasure. I can't talk, never having been in a long term relationship and have no idea what it is to be married, let alone get to the process of exposing all of my filthy emotional laundry to the country. I know that I'm a big marshmallow under my tough exterior. I would never been brave (or stupid enough) to put myself what these people are doing. As Sartre once said, hell is other people. And some of these people are hellish (read the entitled millennials)

But I am a hopeless romantic. And deep down, I wish the lot of them well.



Today's song: