Writing with Dev Part Fourteen

Level Four Lockdown: Day Thirty-Three
Curfew. 8 p.m.
Mood: Good - it's allegedly the weekend. 
Black and White Photo Challenge: Day Four

Is life what you thought it would be?

No.

Well that's the easy answer. I'm in a bit of a reflective mood at the moment. Maybe it's just after birthday month and the years are going by. But I remember being raised to be sort of traditional. I can knit, crochet, sew, cook. I was sort of raised to keep a home and raise a family. And yeah, I'm not doing any of that - I think the only thing my mother would approve of is the fact that I iron my pillow cases and duvet covers. 

What didn't come into the equation was the fact I was blessed/cursed with a brain - and a brain that doesn't quite work like everybody elses. It took into my mid-thirties to realise that this was not a liability, but a blessing. I still occassionally struggle wth the spinster thing, but I'm at peace with it most of the time. 

I think that I now strive for happiness, however that looks like. I'm content most of the time - and this is good, but I actively search out happiness now - even in fleeting moments. The first lick of an ice cream. Swimming. Walking along the Yarra on a cold morning. 

But is life like I thought it would be?  No. I thought I'd be married with teenage kids with a house in he suburbs 20 years ago - but then again, I knew I was never going to turn out like this. 

A story about a bike (5 minutes)

I hadn't ridden a bike in nearly 20 years, when I got on one again for that second to last time. It was at an exclusive spa in the wilds of Hertfordshire, Champney's. My friend Ash and I went up for a weekend of pampering. I fell in love with the pool and lapped it incessantly. 

But my friend made me go with him for a bike ride around the countryside. The bike was an old blue bone rattler, something out of Call the Midwife.  I was amazed at how easy it was go ride after such a long time. The tyres could have used a bit more air. The roads weren't sealed. I felt very, very, unstable. My crotch ached for three days after the hour long ride.

And I didn't ride a bike again for another fifteen years when I got into a triathlon....

It's not something I do that willingly - but I'm glad I can still ride a bike. 

Ten Questions that you wished you asked your grandparents. (Ten Minutes)

I'm going to be a bit controversial here - and think of my maternal grandmother and this might open a can of worms.

1. Your father died when you were twelve. How do you see life being different if he had lived. 
2. You were jilted a month before a man was going to marry you. Did you ever consider seeking revenge?
3. Did you ever realise you third son was gay? What did you think about this?
4. Did you know about grandpa's infidelities? What did you think about this?
5. You spent a lot of time working with service groups - if you were to live over, would you do this again?
6. What are your favourite memories?
7. You never drank tea, only coffee. Why?
8. What were your favourite childhood moments?
9. If you could change anything you did in your twenties, what would that be? 
10. You loved theatre - what were some of your favourite shows?

I get really sad when I think about my maternal grandmother. She didn't have an easy life at all. The second daughter, the fourth child, she appeared to be te product of circumstance. As I age, I think of her in many different lights - maybe I can see more through my adult eyes, seeing how somebody who could have been more vibrant, more loved, made do with what she was give. And that is very hard to think about. I met somebody who knew the family when my dad as a kid. She said she always remembered my grandmother as a really sad lady. Unfortunately, I often think of her that way too.

Describe your perfect day: (Five Minutes)

I'm dot pointing these:

• Wake up being cuddled. I love being cuddled. If sex is available - even better. 
• Breakfast next - decent coffee, maybe Eggs Benedict or D'lish French Toast
• A walk, a nice walk - maybe along a beach, if a beach is available - Silver Sands beach even better.
• Then coffee with friends - sitting down at a coffee shop - oh you can tell I'm in lockdown mode when you're missing coffee dates. 
• A decent film - oh something good - decent art house, or an English film.
• Followed by a trip to the NGV where I can lie on the floor and look at the stained glass ceiling. 
• A bit more walking.
• A trip to Messina Gelati - probably in Swan Street, for a double cone. 
• Some reading would be nice - get my fifty pages out the way - make it a good book. 
• A date with some golden retriever puppies then. If I could spend an hour playing with any puppies I'd be a happy girl.
• And then for a swim - an Olympic sized lap pool   Yes!
• Then go have a shower, get tarted up and go out for a wonderful degustation dinner at say Attica or Vue de Monde  and this has been paid for already by somebody else.
• A nightcap of a gin and tonic. 
• And end the day with a cuddle. If sex is available, even better.

That is what a perfect day looks like. 

Today's song: