Film: The Eternals
Cinema: Hoyts Victoria Gardens
Stars: 2.5
Well, I've found a Marvel film I didn't really like. A film so far up its own arse that things went dark and I fell asleep (only once, and Jay nudged me awake with an elbow). A film that I growled through for various reasons.
But it was nice to be back in the cinemas, and it was nice to have some dinner before and to munch on a choc top during the trailers.
Back in the cinema
Unfortunately, the film wasn't that interesting. And it got right up my nose. As an old Classics student, there was a lot here which felt like misappropriation, but that is just with my reasonable knowledge of ancient mythology, I let my indignant seething get blown out of proportion.
According to RottenTomatoes.com, 'Marvel Studios' Eternals' features an exciting new team of Super Heroes in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, ancient aliens who have been living on Earth in secret for thousands of years. Following the events of Avengers: Endgame, an unexpected tragedy forces them out of the shadows to reunite against mankind's most ancient enemy, the Deviants.'
Yeah, that explains a lot.
There's a bit too much going on here - and unlike films like The Infinity War and Endgame, you're not emotionally invested in the characters, and some of them are too wishy-washy for you to care.
Yes, there are some good bits to this.
- The cinematography is wonderful
- Chloe Zhao makes the most of the dodgy script, and she keeps her love of big skies that she made her trademark in Nomadland.
- Gemma Chan is incandescent - but that is her trademark.
- Richard Madden looks good with a Mallen streak
- Kunail Nanjiani and his sidekick, Harish Patel, provide a bit of comic relief.
- Harry Styles turns up in the end
- Angelina Jolie is very beautiful, but still a bit too skinny
- Lauren Ridloff, a deaf actress, is put to good use, even if her presence does feel like tokenism
- And the Irish guy (Barry Keoghan) is strangely hot
- And Kit Harington looks like he's going to be playing into the Excalibur myth in the next Eternals film
- And the locations are lovely
But that is about it. The film meanders through times and ages and there is a lot of credible CGI.
But did it grab me? Nope. As lovely as it was to see Primrose Hill in London again, and all sort of other locations, this isn't one of Marvel's best offerings.
Sure, the use of mythology is interesting, but I think Athena, Gilgamesh, Circe and Icarus are wondering what they did to deserve this.
I'd wait a few weeks and wait until you can stream this. It should be on Disney + before Christmas.
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