The Tinder Trap

 I had a talk with my colleague today - Female colleague. We had a girlie chat. 

"So, as a writing thing, for my character, I was thinking of checking out Tinder."

I have been tossing up letting my charcter go internet dating - as as somebody who hasn't internet dated in a VERY long time, I sort of want to see just how heinous it really is out there. 

"DORY - DO NOT GO ON TINDER!"

Okay. 

"This isn't for me, it's for my character."

To be honest, I'd probably go on as my character, not me. My protagonist has some limitations. And quirks. It would be a fun to see what she reels in."

"Well what do you suggest then?" I asked. 

"Hinge..."

"I thought Hinge was for hookups."

"No, that's Tinder. My friends say Hinge is the way to go."

"Not Tinder."

"No, you don't want to go near Tinder."

"Hinge or Bumble are good."

"Bumble?"

"Yeah, with Bumble, you're in charge."

"Oh."

"And how does this work?"

"I don't know, but my friends say it's good. Just don't go near Tinder. "

If you look arund the interwebs there are so many dating sites on there. If you query "Best dating sites for over 50s you get pages of the things. Elite Singles. Silver Singles. Academic Singles. Zoosk. RSVP (Meat Market). It's all too much. 

The only Tinder I've been successful on is Cat Tinder. I found Lucifer on Cat Tinder (when you trawl the cat rescue pages for a new pet). I lucked out there. 

I have quite a few friends who have met their partner on Tinder as well. They smile when they tell their stories. 

And these sites all want photographs. I don't do photographs. It's a pity Bantr which is seen on Ted Lasso isn't a real site. No photos on Bantr. Might even find my own Sam Obisanya...(yes please...)

I wonder how my protagonist would approach all of this. I know the last time I went internet dating was about 15 years ago - and I got burned rather badly, as many sensitive people do. But my main character has a bit more chutzpah than me. Would she just go out there and see what's there? I wonder how she would tackle this. Mind you she has fewer limiting factors than me. And I don't have a year to live with any luck. How would you approach dating if you knew your days were numbered? Fuck everything within arm's length, go for for quality over quantity? And dating when you're over fifty - you've gt the joys of menopause and male impotence to deal with and...

Maybe I should leave these loopy ideas for when I have more time. Maybe I should do this research when I have lost this abject feeling of dread. 

Today's song