Tuesday, April 26, 2022

How to catch a cat

 What you need:

  • A set of oven gloves (welding gloves if you have them)
  • A couple of towels
  • A blanket
  • Tenacity
  • A sense of humour
  • Time
  • And a recalcitrant cat to catch. 
  • An open cat cage
What you do:
  • Try to ignore the cat for at least half an hour
  • Chase the cat under the bed. 
  • Try to cajole him out with at treats
  • Get out a broomstick to try to cajole the cat from under said bed. 
  • Try to ignore the cat a bit longer.
  • Watch as the cat hides himself away in the most inconvenient location
  • Move everything from around the inconvenient location
  • Attempt to pick up the cat. 
  • Remember to don the oven gloves
  • Throw a towel over the cat, then try to pick up said cat.
  • Remember to put on your glasses in case he goes for your eyes. 
  • Watch as the cat escapes into another room
  • Repeat the above actions. 
  • And when it all comes down to it, crash tackle the cat. 
  • And somehow shove the recalcitrant beast into his cage. 


It took three of us half an hour to get Lucifer into his travel cage. He nearly took out Barney's eye. And the more we tried to get him into his cage, the more wound up he became. 

As soon as we got him into his cage he settled. 

And after the half hour drive home, and after releasing him back into the flat, he jumped into my lap, purred, nuzzled and snuggled up on my chest. 

So he wasn't completely traumatised. Not at all. 

He was just being a prick.

Cats. Who knew?


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