Wednesday, July 12, 2023

Shit Things About Being Australian: Part Two

 Food (Part One)

We are defined by the food we eat. And Australians have some very funny food habits. 

We love our funny foods, and heaven forbid if you try and take them away from us - or make us go without. And everybody will have a different take on what's the best way to consume these foods. 

Last night, for no apparent reason, I was craving Milo. 

Nowhere else in the world has Milo (well, maybe New Zealand has Milo, but that doesn't count.) Milo is something that you eat straight from the tin when you're a kid. One of the best ways to have Milo, as any adult will tell you, is to have it sprinkled on vanilla ice cream. It's a chocolately, crunchy, scrummy kick that you need after work. 

I can't remember the last time I had a Milo craving - and I'm also wondering how it will go with almond milk. That stuff is okay in coffee, but not so great in tea. What will it do to Milo? After battling all day, I went and got myself a small tin of the stuff. It's lethal.


Then there is the eponymous vegemite. On my journey to France in October, I think I will be carting around a large jar of the stuff, that is if I can get it through customs in England. I'm hoping to visit a friend in Brittany - and she LOVES the stuff. Anybody who goes to visit her is obliged to bring over a large jar for her - it might be banned in France... I will be travelling with a Dutch/American friend who loathes the stuff. Most people from overseas don't get vegemite. 

As any Australian will tell you, it's all about the butter to vegemite ratio and the heat of the toast. Vegemite on toast is what you're fed as a kid when you're getting over illness. Vegemite toast is that easy breakfast. Some people add teaspoon of the stuff to their stews and bolognese sauces - as it provides a umami hit. 

We are brought up on vegemite from a young age. Maybe it's a taste that you have to  acquire. I remember making a ritual out of introducing an Indian friend to Vegemite. A good friend will teach overseas friends how to apply Vegemite to toast and in what amount. Think I’d it like wasabi. Good in moderation.

I also like vegemite because despite the Best Before date on the label, it will last forever. After the last nuclear bomb goes off and all that is left are the roaches, there will be a perfectly good jar of vegemite sitting in a pantry, waiting to be consumed. 


There are so many foods that we, as Australians, love and desire when we are overseas. 

These include but are not limited to: 

  • Cherry Ripes
  • Burger Rings
  • Polly Waffles (have they come back yet?)
  • Fantales
  • Bunnings Sausages (Barbeques need a blog post of their own)
  • Barbeque Shapes
  • Roast Pumpkin (Another blog post here)
  • Milkshakes served in a tin cup with a paper straw

As a race, we are faithful to our quirky foods. What is shit is when you can't get your hands on them when the need presents itself. 


Today's song: 



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