Wednesday, March 25, 2020

First World Problems

A really quick one as I appear to have been sitting on this now uncomfortable chair for most of the day talking online in meetings. Basically, I'm a bit over sitting in front of the computer at home all day. I get up and walk around a bit - have a cuddle with the cat (bless him - and thank goodness he's cuddly).

Jay and I did a lap of the Tan this evening - which was brilliant. Lovely night for it. Plenty of parking, not many people out - and best of all - we were outside. We have to live it up while we get used to this new normal. And a lap of the Tan Track was just what was needed. Plenty of social distancing, fresh air, we took our own cars rather than have Jay collect me on the way there. It was great.

It's the small things that get us through.

However last night's instructions from the government have left me wondering about a few things.

After listening to the Prime Moron Minister for five minutes I was forced to say, quite loudly, 'Fuck, he's a dickhead." We need clear, concise instructions, not his pollie waffle.

We were told that a lot of businesses need to close as of today. And here is where the first world problems start coming in.

I know these are first world problems. I'm not moaning. I'm just pointing them out.

What is most gutting is the jobs which have gone away with the stroke of a pen. Millions of people are now without income.

So let's have a look at who is no longer in business for the the next while - until they are allowed to open again. I just hope they can get back into business quickly for all our sakes.

Gym:

This one has hurt a bit - as the gym is my sane space. Thankfully we can still see Cleo outside in a nearby park - the sessions are good. There may be no sled, no medicine balls, no TRX bands, no leg presses, but we still get in a decent workout.

But where are the roiders going to go? What will happen to the roiders (Big blokes on steroids - and known as the grunters who only have eyes for each other). What will the roiders look like when we come out the back of this? They skip leg day as it is. It's going to be interesting to see what comes out of hibernation.

Hairdressers:

You can go to the hairdressers, but there are strict rules about this. Lots of social distancing and there is a half hour time frame on appointments. Me - I've never had a hair appointment last anything less than 90 minutes - longer if there is balayage involved.

Me, I'm thankful I've got set and forget hair. I'm currently rocking Stevie Nicks long shaggy curls. My roots need attention, but it's not critical.

I'm wondering how some of these blonde Toorak princesses, with their tempered tresses. In a few months they're going to come out looking like skunks.

Jay, who's a bit older than me has her hair coloured every few weeks to keep the grays at bay. She thinks this is the time to transition to gray.

My sister, like me, dyes her hair, said she's going with the ombre look for the time being.

I'm not there yet. I'll have a talk to my hairdresser  - see if there is a supermarket option to keep the roots at bay. But anyway, nobody is going to see me. Does it matter? No. What matters is I stay safe and keep everybody else around me safe.

Beauticians:

Again, it's my vanity talking here. Once a month I go into Myer to see the heavily tattooed Morgan at the Benefit Counter, who does her magic on my eyebrows. If I let my eyebrows go, I end up looking like John Howard. I will have to tend these myself - if just for the sanity of the people with whom I'm on conference calls. Morgan just does them better

Image result for john howard eyebrows

As women go, I fairly low maintenance. A leg wax every eight weeks and the very occasional pedicure and I'm done with beauty therapists.

I feel for the beauticians more than I do the women who will be going without spray tans, eyelash extensions, fillers, botox, gel nails.... they are going to look like completely different creates at the end of this (Jay is already lamenting the loss of her gel nails) .

I just pity the millennials out there, who, for the first time in their life, will have to cope with the joys of abundant pubic hair. Men might grow their chest hair back (That's fine with me) . Men may grow their back hair back (No thanks)

This is about to get interesting.

Today's song:




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