Movie: Artemis Fowl
Platform: Disney Plus
Stars: 2.5
I haven't done a movie review in months, and it's a bit dissapointing that it's a bit of a mess of a film I'm reviewing.
Artemis Fowl was released on the Disney Plus streaming service yesterday. It's probably good that it went straight to streaming.
As a fan of the books, which are brilliant, I have to say this really doesn't do anybody a favour. Directed by Kenneth Branagh (be still my barely beating ovaries), and under the Disney badge, it follows the story of Artemis Fowl, a 12-year-old evil child genius who has absent parents, a mischevious nature and a bit of an axe to grind.
But really, any relation to Eoin Colfer's wonderful books pretty much stops there.
The thing I love about these books is they are wonderfully nuanced. Artemis is a bit of a 'poor little rich boy', living in a mansion with a Butler called Butler. Below the earth, the underworld is in a bit of a mess. Sargeant Holly Short from the LEP Recon Unit is in trouble with work. She's told to rejuvenate, as all good fairies must do, at a sacred tree, where she is captured by Artemis. And then all hell breaks loose.
In the novels, there are some wonderful characters who inherit the underworld. Mulch Diggums, the dwarf, Commander Root, the head of the LEP Recon Unit, Foley, a centaur who runs the IT department and a lot of other characters who are just wonderful.
For purists, this movie doesn't cut the mustard, at all. They play with too much of the storyline, it's all over the place. Butler, who's described as Eurasian, is played by a black dude (and there is nothing wrong with this, but it was jarring as a lover of the books - saying that Nonzo Anozie was perfectly decent as Butler). Judy Dench sounded like she's been sucking on a pack of Marlboros a day for the last 20 years - and she was fine too. Ferdia Shaw and Lara McDonnell were fine in the roles of Artemis and Holly Short, as was Colin Farrell playing Artemis Senior. Oh, and Josh Gad as Mulch Diggums was good. They managed his special trait well - you have to know the books to know what this is - and in the books, this is hilarious.
Acting aside, which was adequate, what irritated my friends and I was how much they diverted from the storylines in the book. Gone was so much of what made the books great. The nuanced story lines, the humour, the fun was all gone and given over to some pretty impressive computer generated effects. It's obvious the movie was made for 3D cinema release, and this is where the money was spent.
But for a movie which has been in development for 20 years, it's disappointing. Eoin Colfer thought he would be dead before the movie ever came out. I think he'd be a bit embarrassed by this.
Kenneth Branagh's direction is adequate, in spite of the materials. I feel sorry for him, Judi Dench and Colin Farrell for having their names to this.
But I really do recommend reading the books. They are wonderful.
If you want to see this on Disney Plus, do so, but if you've read to books, you're going to be disappointed.
Today's song:
Platform: Disney Plus
Stars: 2.5
I haven't done a movie review in months, and it's a bit dissapointing that it's a bit of a mess of a film I'm reviewing.
Artemis Fowl was released on the Disney Plus streaming service yesterday. It's probably good that it went straight to streaming.
As a fan of the books, which are brilliant, I have to say this really doesn't do anybody a favour. Directed by Kenneth Branagh (be still my barely beating ovaries), and under the Disney badge, it follows the story of Artemis Fowl, a 12-year-old evil child genius who has absent parents, a mischevious nature and a bit of an axe to grind.
But really, any relation to Eoin Colfer's wonderful books pretty much stops there.
The thing I love about these books is they are wonderfully nuanced. Artemis is a bit of a 'poor little rich boy', living in a mansion with a Butler called Butler. Below the earth, the underworld is in a bit of a mess. Sargeant Holly Short from the LEP Recon Unit is in trouble with work. She's told to rejuvenate, as all good fairies must do, at a sacred tree, where she is captured by Artemis. And then all hell breaks loose.
In the novels, there are some wonderful characters who inherit the underworld. Mulch Diggums, the dwarf, Commander Root, the head of the LEP Recon Unit, Foley, a centaur who runs the IT department and a lot of other characters who are just wonderful.
For purists, this movie doesn't cut the mustard, at all. They play with too much of the storyline, it's all over the place. Butler, who's described as Eurasian, is played by a black dude (and there is nothing wrong with this, but it was jarring as a lover of the books - saying that Nonzo Anozie was perfectly decent as Butler). Judy Dench sounded like she's been sucking on a pack of Marlboros a day for the last 20 years - and she was fine too. Ferdia Shaw and Lara McDonnell were fine in the roles of Artemis and Holly Short, as was Colin Farrell playing Artemis Senior. Oh, and Josh Gad as Mulch Diggums was good. They managed his special trait well - you have to know the books to know what this is - and in the books, this is hilarious.
Acting aside, which was adequate, what irritated my friends and I was how much they diverted from the storylines in the book. Gone was so much of what made the books great. The nuanced story lines, the humour, the fun was all gone and given over to some pretty impressive computer generated effects. It's obvious the movie was made for 3D cinema release, and this is where the money was spent.
But for a movie which has been in development for 20 years, it's disappointing. Eoin Colfer thought he would be dead before the movie ever came out. I think he'd be a bit embarrassed by this.
Kenneth Branagh's direction is adequate, in spite of the materials. I feel sorry for him, Judi Dench and Colin Farrell for having their names to this.
But I really do recommend reading the books. They are wonderful.
If you want to see this on Disney Plus, do so, but if you've read to books, you're going to be disappointed.
Today's song:
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