Why do they mess with things?

Lockdown: Day 6

In particular, why do they mess with food things?

Case in point. The humble Scotch Finger Biscuit.

After working at one of the big banks, something we got used to was an Arnott's Assorted Family pack of biscuits was dumped into the biscuit barrel every morning.

By ten a.m., most of the biscuits were gone - grabbed by various staff making tea.

These biscuits always go in the same order:

• Chocolate Ripples go first.
• The Butternut Snaps go next. 
• The Nice biscuits, with their sugar topping follow the butternut snaps. 
• Then it's the Scotch Finger biscuits.
• After that, it's the Teddy Bear biscuits.
• Which leave you with the very boring Milk Arrowroot. 

The Milk Arrowroot tastes like cardboard and is only any good when you dunk them in you tea or coffee - revolting habit but they're edible that way. These bikkies can often be found in the biscuit barrel at around 2 pm, and are eaten under duress, or by anybody coming off out of their night before stoner mung. (Or they're too busy to have gone to lunch and just need a bit of sugar.)

Personally, I ask why you can't get YoYo biscuits in these Family Assorted packs. The YoYo is a South Australian standard which is best when you liberally apply butter to one side of it while singing the YoYo song. I can guarantee most South Australians over the age of 30 know the YoYo biscuit song. It's one of the things that make you a South Australian.

These are sooooo much better than the lousy Milk Arrowroot, or heaven forbid, the Marie biscuit - something I won't use for pie crusts. YoYos are the bomb. Pity you can't get them out of Adelaide and South Australia. 

But Arnotts go and mess with things. For good and for bad.

I have a packet of Scotch Finger biscuits infused with salted caramel. I bought them as they were cheap and I know they'll last me a few weeks.

It's not like I'm buying a packet of Lemon Crisps - they will normally be inhaled in one sitting.



Or even worse, Venetians.... which are something akin to crack. My sister always has these in the pantry. I'm glad I don't visit my sister in Adelaide very often. She's yell at me for eating the lot.



And we won't go into the creme or chocolate biscuits. I mean look at how many different types of Tim Tams you can find:

• Original
• Dark chocolate
• White chocolate
• Choc Mint
• Double coat
• Black Forest
• Red Velvet 
• Cappuccino
• Expresso Martini
• Peanut butter
• Creme caramel
• Coconut Lychee
• Salted Caramel and Vanilla
• River Murray Salted Caramel
• Sunshine Coast Strawberries
• Manuka Honey
• Gisborne Orange
• Oh and all the Messina flavours they've had over the years.

With they exception of the Coconut and Lychee  ones, and the white ones, why would you mess with perfection? The normal Tim Tams are the bomb. It's just daft. Other than the normal plain milk chocolate Tim Tams, the rest of them end up being sold off at the end of  the supermarket aisles. It all seems a bit pointless.

Which leads me back to the Salted Caramel Scotch Finger biscuits currently sitting in my kitchen.

Are they anything special? Not really. Are they moreish? No. Why did I buy them? Well I was curious. Will I buy them again? No. 

I'd also like to know what is so wonderful about Salted Caramel - Why does it have to go in EVERYTHING. Okay, Ben and Jerry's Salted Caramel Core ice cream, yes. Cold, salty, creamy, sweet - bring it on.

But boring and bland old Scotch Finger biscuits - not so much. 

Looks like I'll have these to snack on over the next week or so. 

I just don't see why they have to mess with things like that. You can't make a Scotch Finger biscuit better by adding a hipster ingredient. Some things should be left as they are.

Today's Song: