I'm not an Aldi shopper. I don't trust myself not to come out with ski gear, a cheeseboard and a winch.
Also, sometimes, you want something, and it just isn't there.
Case in point. I made a chickpea curry the other day - it's really just souped-up dahl. It's nice - thanks to Nagi at Recipe Tin Eats. I followed the recipe. All good. I got some rice to go with it. All good as well. But it needs a bit of jzushing - some livening up. A bit of pizzaz. Some thing that cuts through the legumeness of the whole thing.
This is where mango chutney comes in. A bit of tang - a bit of sweet. Perfect.
Does Aldi stock mango chutney - preferably Sharwoods, if not then Beerenbergs or Pataks is fine. Yes, I'm a mango chutney snob - years of living in England will do that to you.
Regardless, I did a lap of Aldi, avoiding the junkies, scouring the aisles, looking high and low for this wonderful condiment.
Aldi, well my Aldi, down at Junkie Central as the small shopping centre is often referred to due to its proximity to the safe injecting room, does not stock mango chutney.
Oh well. It's on the shopping list for tomorrow when I know I've got a choice at Coles.
And in the meantime, I found some Quandong Chutney, a gift from the hotel in Darwin, at the back of the fridge. It did the job, but it's not the same.
Two questions. Does Paul Rudd actually age? And is there anything Paul Rudd can't do? These are valid questions because, firstly, Paul Rudd and I are the same age - but he looks incredible - and yes, he doesn't look as you as he did when he played the brother in Clueless, but he's doing bloody well. And secondly, this bloke can sing! Power Ballad is just is style.
Watching this, I thought of a couple of things. Firstly, it reminded me of The Wedding Singer, without Adam Sandler's sense of humour. But this was still fun. It also reminded me of The Commitments, but without the soul. Ah yes, big surprise - most of this film is set in Ireland.
The film starts in Dublin. Rick (Paul Rudd) is the lead singer in a wedding band. He used to be a semi-famous rock star in the 80's, then he fell in love, stayed in Ireland with his wife and child and he stopped writing songs and became a wedding singer. His band, including his best mate, Sandy (Peter McDonald), is his ultimate wing man. The boys in the band are under no illusions - they're wedding singers and they get on with it. They're middle aged. They wear reading glasses, need their sleep and are prone to act up on occasion.
At a large wedding Rick meets Danny (Joe Jonas) a washed-up boy band singer. After getting up on stage with the band, Rick and Danny bond, and after a lot of alcohol and heart bearing, they have a song writing session - Rick offering Danny his advice, before playing him a song he's been working on for 15 years. The two part as friends.
Six months later, while out shopping, Rick hears his song playing in the local shopping centre. The song is everywhere. Rick is rightly pissed. He tries to get to talk to Danny through his skeezy manager, Mac (Jack Reynor) with no luck. By this time, his marriage is under strain, he's been kicked out of the band and his daughter thinks he's crazy. It's only then that Rick does the last thing possible and goes to L.A. to seek out the now famous Danny.
Power Ballad is a feel-good story about music, self-respect, friendship, and the price of ambition. Coming from the pen of John Carney, the writer of the incredible Once, Begin Again and Sing Street, all songs about music, set in Ireland, he knows what he's doing. Carney also directed this little gem.
And the soundtrack, mostly performed by Rudd and the band, is great. The song that he and Danny co-create isn't too bad either. For me, the staple covers done by the band were on point.
I really enjoyed this. This had enough fun, music and heart to keep my happy.
Look out for it when it comes onto a streaming station in the not-too-distant future. It's great Friday night fodder.
I'm getting these out of the way late on Saturday night after a great day of excellent theatre. I saw an alternative version of Pride and Prejudice - one of the funniest things I've seen in ages. Pride and Prejudice, funny? Maybe you had to be there, but this small Australian theatre company did a very good job.
For the Americans here, we don't have Memorial Day. I gather this is when people can start wearing white trousers again - I've heard this from the movies. We have a public holiday for the Monarch's birthday in a few week. It's strange not to call it the Queen's Birthday holiday. It will be strange if we ever become a republic not to have this day off.
Anyway, here are this week's questions, brought by Sunday Stealing, as always.
1) What freedom are you most grateful for?
I'm Australian. We're watching what's going on in America with a lot of amazement. We're left scratching our heads as to how some of the laws that are going through are getting through. Our system is nowhere near perfect, but sheesh.
Anyway, here are some freedoms that I have over that I am truly grateful for:
I have the freedom to choose how I want my reproductive organs to be managed. No man can tell me that I can't have a hysterectomy, or my tubes tied or heavens, terminate a pregnancy. My body, my choice. It's nobody else's business.
I have the freedom, if I am terminally ill with limited time left, and being of sound mind, m to choose to end my life painlessly, and with dignity.
I am free to wear what I want, when I want.
I am free to drive a vehicle, by myself.
I'm free to have my own bank accounts.
I'm free to vote for who I choose.
I'm free not to marry.
I'm free to write and say what I want, when I want (*with the exception of hate speech - and why would I want to do that anyway).
I'm free to travel when I want, where I want .
I'm free to work.
I'm free to have a decent education.
Want me to go on?
2) What book are you currently reading?
I'm currently between the sublime and the ridiculous. On audiobook (I count this as reading) I'm listening to Susan Choi's incredible novel Flashlight. I can see why it was shortlisted for the Booker Prize.
On paper, I've just started Steve Toltz's A Rising of the Lights. I've not really got into it yet. His A Fraction of the Whole is incredible. (Australian author).
On my kindle, I'm having a lot of fun reading Jilly Cooper's novel, Rivals. It's fun. As I've been a bit low, it's good to read something that bolsters the spirits.
3) What have you been listening to?
I don't count audiobooks as listening, more reading. But I've been listening to some 80s and 90s alternative playlists, a lot of Talking Heads, Imagine Dragons and The Pixies and a bit of Yann Teirsen - he's great to work too.
Yann Teirsen - he wrote the soundtrack for the movie Amelie. Very French. Good for the neurodiverse mind.
4) What shows or movies have you been watching?
Movie recommendation - The Sheep Detectives. It's brilliant! I also saw Jodie Foster's French film last weekend, A Private Life. It's not bad. Her French is amazing.
The two things to write home about on the streaming channels - Margo's got Money Troubles on Apple TV is very cool.
And don't get me started on Rivals (which is streaming on Disney). It's a bonkbuster and it is most wonderful, even if they are drip-feeding us the episodes. I'm definitely on Team Freddie and Lizzie.
The Play: Pride and Prejudice - novel by Jane Austen, adapted by the Bloomshed Theatre
The Theatre: The Merlyn Theatre at The Malthouse
Runtime: 90 minutes
Until: 23 May
Stars: 4.75
This is possibly one of the best, and funniest, bits of theatre I've seen in years. Absolutely and utterly wonderful. And to think that I would have missed it, if not for the box office staff being able to reprint my ticket. When they handed over the replacement, I was told I was in for a treat.
It was exactly that.
This was an absolute corker of a production. Funny. Deeply satirical. On point. Engaging. Critical at just the right level and a brilliant farce, I wish I could see this again Unfortunately, tonight is the last night of the run - it's also sold out. Still, this afternoon I was treated to an absolute gem. It's been advertised as a story of housing insecurity - which when you think about it - it is.
For those who don't know the story of Austen's best-known novel, Mr Bennet (played by a Ficus in varying levels of health) and Mrs Bennet (Emily Carr) have five daughters and seriously need to get them married off, as on Mr Bennet's demise, they are going to be out on their ear. The house will fall into the hands of the odious Mr Collins (Sid Brisbane).
The daughters sort of run to their descriptions in the book. Jane (Anna Louey) is the pretty one, who soon forms and attachment to Mr Bingley (John Marc Desengano). The witty, wise Lizzie (Elizabeth Brennan) has a love/hate relationship with Mr Darcy (James Jackson). Slutty Lydia (Laura Aldous) wins a wet petticoat contest and ensnares the terrible life choice that is Mr Wickham (Lauren Swain). Mary, (also Lauren Swain) is normally the forgotten one - she's turned into a gun toting emo lesbian, to great effect. And Kitty (Syd Brisbane's other alter ego) is the much-maligned Kitty.
If you're a fan of the book, and not too precious about the text, you'd adore this.
What Bloomshed have done is take this story, add some physical theatre and cabaret elements, put in some up-to-date references about the Australian housing market and you've got this wonderful show.
Set on what looks like a big wedding cake, Savanna Wegman's set is perfect for this laugh a minute show. Being a collective, the company have directed this show among themselves to great effect. I loved the physicality of the production - the actors' movements, the dancing (and twerking) the fast paced-nature of the whole thing was amazing.
For me, the best scene was the one with Lady Catherine De Burgh (once again, John Marc Desengano) where they all had tea. Tea was brought in on a small table, with an urn, paper cups, tea bags and a family pack of Arnott's biscuits. I nearly wet myself over the five-minute scene - so relatable, yet so funny. Maybe you had to be there.
As the season finished tonight at the Malthouse, I can't say go and find a ticket for this. It toured Canberra, Darebin and Geelong late last year. I just know that this was thoroughly enjoyable.
I'll be keeping my eye out for more Bloomshed theatre productions. They're wonderful. Wow.
I can't be the only one who discusses politics with her massage therapist. This is our normal greeting. I've been seeing him for nearly 20 years.
More chatter. What's on telly. I impart that I'm going to get my takeaway and go home to watch the new episode of Rivals on Disney+. I've been told I should watch Riot Girls on SBS On Demand. We have similar taste in these things. He's also been told to go see The Sheep Detectives, because that is the best film EVAH!
Regardless, I get my massage. I let him know that I'm running pretty well. Just a funny right knee, which I'm trying to rehab, the rest of me is fine.
We talk about life on Bridge Road.
"You know that Annie Lewis Wine Bar has closed down?" he tells me.
"No! My French group used to meet there. Bugger."
"And the wine bar up the road is gone."
"Atlas Vinifomo?"
"Gone."
"My mate is going to be unhappy. He met his husband there."
"All change it is. The Malaysian place on the corner only lasted less than a year - then again, it was an old bank building - who'd want to eat in there?"
Talk goes back to my body. I mean, I'm naked and prostrate under warm towels. It's what I'm there for.
"So, your hip's out a bit," he mentions.
"I think it's throwing out my knee a bit."
"Probably."
"You know, it's funny. This started a few weeks ago."
"Anything changed? Gym? Exercise?"
"Well, now it's colder, at night, when I go to bed, I turn off the light, roll over onto my stomach and within a minute or two, Lucifer comes and settles between my knees. That leg is the one that is on top - it's his bed head."
"And you wonder why your hips a bit stiff and you're knee's playing up?"
Bloody cat!
Looks like I'm going to have a sore knee for a few more months. My massage therapist says he has a couple of clients with cat related injuries just like mine. The cat, due to its sleeping preferences, causes aches and pains for many people.
I'm struggling for inspiration at the moment. Thankfully, the depression, though still there, is in a manageable state, it's tiring me out more than anything. And I'm doing a lot of crafting. Crochet makes me feel settled.
So tonight, I pulled a Dev Card.
Write a two minute comedy skit. (About 200 words)
I'm about as funny as a car accident, but we'll give it a go.
I'll call this 'When My Mob Get In"
When my mob get in things are going to change?
And why are "my mob"?
Menopausal Gen X women, that's who!
Can you imagine what it would be like if Gen X women, now heading towards cronedom, with their frozen shoulders, leaking bladders, fluctuating moods and inbred sarcasm taking over the country.
How good would that be?
What would it be like to have a parliament full of women who would take absolutely no crap? Women who know how to fight, how to take down the worse of bludgers and for once in their lives, so something for themselves.
Can you see them commandeering the mens' bathrooms in Parliament House - and making them clean them after use. See how they like having too few facilities for so many people. Fuck the loo queues, women have been lining up for the bathrooms for centuries. It's time! Gough Whitlam was right.
Money could be channeled to schools and hospitals. To start balancing the books, medical research would only be done on women for the next 20 years. Women would start investigating sexual assaults. Punishments for these crimes would be shown on air - Castration Corner - after the 9 pm watershed time of course.
What would the place be like if functional, emotionally aware, forward-thinking women were in charge?
I hang out with too many astrologers. I'm a Leo/Virgo - nicely cuspy born in the later part of August.
But if you look at my chart (yeah, I know, gobbledygook to most) you'll see that I have five planets in Virgo. From Right to left, there's Mercury, Jupiter, Venus, Pluto and Uranus, all in a row, bunched up like best mates on a beach blanket - unhappily opposing Saturn and trined with Neptune.
I've got enough Virgo in my chart to make me a decent Virgo.
And what are Virgos? Pains in the arse who like making lists. Yep.
They also make me a bit of a perfectionist at times.
This isn't good - it's sometimes useful.
Today I've been making training videos. An eye for detail, a lot of refining with AI, A lot of moving things around a video editor.
It's exhausting. It's exacting.
My new best friend is Ryan (Multilingual-Australia), the voice I use to do the video voiceovers. He's on the app and takes direction well - in other words he one of the better voice-to-text voices. All you have to do is type in your commentary and he says it for you. Magic.
Not really. It's a part of the job. I'm doing some pretty basic stuff - but it looks cool, and it's a skill I'm developing - even if the Virgo in me is berating me for not being perfect.
Pity I can't show you - mind you, short training videos about banking applications aren't that interesting.
