Gym Auditions

It's started. 

Auditioning for a new gym. I haven't done this for nearly twenty years - but I'm being a grown up and starting to look at my options. I can't function without a gym - and forewarned is forearmed and it's good to see that there are some choices that can be made. 

Also, I'm fairly sure I'll go with Chuck, wherever he goes - because he's great and I don't want to lose him. I also wrote a stroppy letter to Fitness First thanking them for wrecking a community - which is what is happening. I was at the gym this evening and caught up with some of the community. We all feel the same way. I'm getting the odd call from gym buddies. We're all in the same boat. Disliking the schlep, lack of parking and prominence of posers at the Church Street sight. 

Today, I had a look at the gym around the corner. Gym 24/7. 

Pros

• It's five-minute walk away. 
• At $14 a week it's economical
• It's open 24/7
• It's not too busy.
• I know a couple of the trainers who work there
• It's got a lot of equipment which appears to be well maintained
• There's a recovery room with massage chairs and infrared saunas that you can book. 
• Not that I need it, but the on-street parking is not bad
• And there seems to be lots of normal people in there. 

Cons:

• There are no TRX bands (from what I could see - and I love the TRX)
• There are no Ski Erg rowers (I like them).
• I know a couple of the trainers who work there
• There are very limited classes (Jay likes classes - me, not so much)

In all, it's not a bad option. 

I'm auditioning another one tomorrow night. 

Today's song:

Too Tired

 Donated blood today. 

All good - no issues. Just a bit tired. 

Can't be bothered writing. Just want to go to bed.

Will find something to write about tomorrow.

I should finish the review of the play I saw on Friday. (It has been nice to take a break from looking at screens, to be honest). 

Today's song:

Sunday Stealing Adjusts for Inflation

 I'm not thrilled with this week's questions. They're not my cup of tea - but that's okay. It's lovely that somebody sets the questions every week, and for this I'm grateful. 

According to the blurb it says: 

Back in 2007, Sparky Duck at Philly Transplant played the $50,000 Meme. That was nearly 20 years ago. To make it more relevant to our day and age, it's been updated and is now the ...

The $80,000 Meme

Premise: A philanthropist awards you USD $80,000 with the stipulation that you must spend half on yourself and half for the benefit of others. This translates to around AUD 114,000.

Questions, as always, come from Sunday Stealing. 

1. Of the $57,000 you must spend on yourself: 

a. First you throw yourself a lavish birthday party. Tell us about it. 

If I'm honest, I'd take a few friends to Paris, business class flights, for a few weeks. No party, just hang out in Paris, in style. That sounds like fun. 

b. Then you take off on a cruise. Where are you headed?

You have two chances of getting me on a traditional cruise. None and f*ck all. 

If it was a small charter cruise then either a luxury cruise around Australia's top end, or may down the Croatian coast - but it would have to be a small boat with fewer than 50 people on it. Cruises sound like a fantastic way to get COVID or gastro. They're not my thing, even though I love boats. 

2. Of the $57,000 you must spend for the benefit of others: 

a. Who would be on your gift list? What would buy them?

It's too late to think about this stuff. I'll give the money to charity. Most of my friends have everything they want and need, thank goodness. 

b. Which charities would you support?

Here are some of the charities who would receive money from me:

• The Leukaemia Foundation
• Catherine Hamlin Fistula Foundation
• The Fred Hollows Foundation. 
• Planned Parenthood
• Canteen
• Go Gentle Australia
• And an animal charity of some description - Lort Smith Animal Hospital / RSPCA

Today's song:

Theatre Review: Uncle Vanya

The Play: Uncle Vanya by Anton Chekhov adapted by Joanna Murray-Smith

The Company: Melbourne Theatre Company

The Space: The Playhouse at the Arts Centre

Runtime: Two hours 15 minutes

Stars: 4

Uncle Vanya is a favourite play of mine. I know I'm not a fan of Russian literature - but Uncle Vanya is the bomb.

I saw Derek Jacobi in the title role in London in the 90s. Andrew Scott made it a one-man show in London three years ago, which I enjoyed immensely. And of course there's the 1994 film version, Vanya on 42nd Street, which you can view on Youtube. Adapted by David Mamet, directed by Louis Malle and having Wallace Shawn, Julianne Moore and Brooke Smith in the cast (among others) it's amazing, and well worth the watch. 

This version of Uncle Vanya has been adapted by Joanna Murray-Smith, one of Australia's leading playwrights. Nothing has changed other than some of the language has been updated from a more staid version, to adding bits of Australian vernacular - and it is great. It's one of the good things about working in translation. 

The story doesn't change, the themes staying as universal as ever. Familial duty, unrequited love, family dynamics. Vanya (Daniel Henshall) and his niece Sonya (Philippa Northeast) live on the family farm, 

Today's song:

All Hail Pam the Bird

 Walking to the office on Wednesday, I looked through the Docklands wind tunnel that leads to Marvel Stadium and looked at the twin columns of the Bolte Bridge. They often remind me of Twin Towers in New York, but they're slimmer and shorter and they're holding up a bridge that you have to pay to use. 

One thing that brightened me up - Pam the Bird. 

For the last few years, Pam has been turning up in all sorts of strange places. On factory walls, the back of road signs, on the sides of buildings. People, particularly in the West, keep an eye out for her. 

Technically, she's graffiti. But as graffiti goes, she's a happy little (big) sod who brightens people far more than any tag or cock and balls will every do. 

My other thought about her arriving on the Bolte was how the hell did anybody scale the 140 metre column and paint her on overnight? Unfortunately, the artist was found sitting on top of the pylon first thing in the morning, paint in hand. 

He's been charged with a litany of offences. 

The powers that be started painting over her today. They say that it's going to cost around $100,000 to remover her, also saying that it should be 10 degrees warmer so the paint sets properly (Sounds like elements of Trump's botch job on the Reflecting Pool in Washington.)

Regardless, I know she's graffiti, but I reckon she's art. She makes people feel something. She's inoffensive (if a little inconvenient) She's unexpected. And I wish she could stay.

Bless her. 

Today's Song:

Too Miffed to Write

 I was going to find something to write about. Something that got my goat up. Pauline Hanson. Not writing. Being stuck in front of a screen all day. Getting rained on as I walked out of work at 5.15. 

Nope. 

Tonight we found out that the gym is closing. 

My lovely community gym that I've been going to for 20 years. My wonderful gym that has normal people in it. It's always been like this. Posers don't go to my gym, which is tucked behind a shopping centre, out of sight and mind. There's not an influencer to be seen. The same people go week in, week out. Some I've known for over a decade. Jay and I are the scary birds who put many men to shame with the weights we lift. We know the receptionist and trainers. It's great. 

And they're bloody closing it. It's not a part of their 'brand' which is now high-end and marketed to the poser/influencer types who want to film themselves with their ring lights. The nearest we get to a camera is when we talk to Cleo in Barcelona as she gives us orders on what to train next. 

And sure, the writing has been on the wall for a while. Diminishing classes, staffed hours, the lack of maintenance, but still, my convenient gym, which has well-lit access and great parking, is closing. 

So, what will I do after 21 August - which we're told is the last day the gym is open - I do not know. 

I feel I'll end up wherever Chuck plants himself. Chuck's my Wednesday trainer and he's done wonders for me - I'm more flexible and stronger under his tutelage. He's one of the best trainers I've had - and I want to keep him. He only got the news at lunchtime, so he's looking at what's best for all his clients. I'll have a chat to Hamish, who's been at the gym as long as I have - see what he's doing. I think he and his girlfriend will follow Chuck too.

I mean, there's the other Fitness First site down Church Street, but getting there is a bastard as you often get stuck behind a tram, the parking is variable and it's full of posers. 

There's the 24/7 gym on Victoria Street where some of the old trainers from where I am now train. It's a bit cheaper and easy to get to, but a bit smaller.

Richmond has a plethora of gyms, but this has been my gym for 20 years. It's my haven, my home. 

And it will all work out, because whatever happens, I need to have access to a gym because it's cheaper and easier to work out than to take anti-depressants and go to therapy. And it keeps my arse harder than a breeze block. 

I'm just pissed off. It's the end of an era. 

Today's song: 

A Piece of Architecture

 I have a masonic job to do tonight. 

Writing a piece of architecture.

Eh?

It's mason's talk for a short talk. I won't go into why it's called what it's called, but the Grand Poobah called (not the official name, but The Flintstones made it popular, so I'll use it) and asked if I could string together a five-minute talk about stuffs. 

In the past, I've done talk on things like Masonry and Tarot - which happily go hand in glove. I've done talks on conferences I've attended - all sorts of things. 

This time around, I'm going to bring in the chat I went to the other night, with Stan Grant talking about his book When Words Fail Us. 

I should have known this was going to happen. When something triggers you, it will come back to bite you in Masons.

While I was sitting there listening to Grant, my head was pinging all over the place. Grant has a Doctorate in Theology. He's also a veteran journalist and writer, and activist and all-round deep thinker. His talk the other week was on the philosophies of Simone Weil, communication and silence.

The talk was awesome, but there were a few things that set me off on various paths. Underpinning the talk was Simone Veils philosophies, particularly around life and silence. This is interesting also how both Grant and Veil see silence as a way to truth - not through complicity, but by allowing we in the human condition to actually listen and absorb rather than judge. 

Then, my monkey mind starts to think about masonic ritual, and how silence is used there. 

Anyway, I'm trying to gather my thoughts as to what I'm going to say on Sunday. 

Oh, what fun!

Today's song: