This is a bad movie. It's okay that it's a bad movie. It's not criminally bad. It's a film you can watch and know that it's bad and come away from it thinking, yeah, there were some mildly entertaining bits to it, but that's it. It's not Eyes Wide Shut bad (pretentious overhyped Kubrick). It's not The Room bad (So bad it has a cult following.... YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, LISA!). It's not Terrence Mallick's Tree of Life bad (Subjectively, I found it complete wank). It's not Cats bad (where to enjoy it, you're probably better off stoned.)
Spa Weekend has done a disservice cinema by having a pretty good cast and giving them a particularly awful script.
On their own, Anna Faris (who appears to have gone a bit overboard with the botox) Leslie Mann, Michelle Buteau and Isla Fisher are all pretty decent comic actors. They have tried to make the best of the script, but with little success.
Jane (Mann), an overworked, late forty-something lawyer and single mum has absolutely no time for herself, caring for teenage kids and an aging father. Coco (Buteau) had always been the loud, angry friend, but has become even more so since her divorce. Sophie (Faris) is an overworked personal assistant come nanny to a super-rich guy). The three of them, needing a break, take themselves off for a spa weekend, making the conscious decision to not invite the fourth in their group, Mel (Fisher). Mel is a trainwreck of a chaos agent. Read she has fewer boundaries than a country football field and absolutely no filter.
Of course, Sophie backhandedly invites Mel along and their plans for a quiet weekend go out the window. Jane discovers a cute yoga instructor. Coco has a sort of reconciliation with her ex. Sophie grows a spine, and Mel... yeah, well Mel.
There is a lot of rather dodgy over-acting on top of the horrendous script.
On the plus side, the spa was filmed at the Sheraton on the Gold Coast, and the film used a lot of Australian actors as their filler cast.
However, I'm not going to forgive the script. Written and directed by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore, who have written such films as Bad Moms and The Hangover, this is just more of the same with peri-menopausal women. It has the subtlety of a sledgehammer, and the plot goes from situation to situation like a drunk toddler.
I wonder what could have been done if women had written the script.
This is slated as Bridesmaids with middle-aged women. It's not. Unsurprisingly, Bridesmaids, still one of the funniest women's comedies about, was written by women.
It's not that hard.
Don't bother with this - there's not much point other than it is pretty to look at. This does not redeem it in the slightest.
It's Saturday afternoon. My evening plans have fallen through and I'm having a lazy day.
It's wonderful.
So here are this week's questions. It appears there's a public holiday over in America. I can't work out how America has so many public holidays. I'm told it's Labour Day. This is the day after which you're not supposed to where white.
Talking of silly public holidays, we get a Friday off in a few weeks for a football game the following day.
1) What’s something you want to do before summer slips away?
Umm, it's Winter over here, and we're going into Spring. Winter is my second favourite season after Autumn (Fall). I'm just going to enjoy wearing boots for the next little while. After October, it's back to runners, pumps and court shoes for work.
2) What book are you currently reading?
After slogging through Meg Mason'sSophie, Standing There, which did get better in the second half, but still, it was hard work, I'm now reading Madeline Cash's Lost Lambs, which is laugh out loud funny in places.
3) What have you been listening to?
I'm an audiobook reader. Currently, I'm listening to Jane Austen's Mansfield Park, which is not the strongest of Austen's novels. I finished Elif Shafak's There are Rivers in the Sky earlier in the week - which is an extraordinary novel.
4) What shows or movies have you been watching?
On the big screen, I've seen Tony and & Sons. One was about Anthony Bourdain's early life, the other and English film and family drama. Both were good.
On television, I've been loving the weekly drops of the new season of Ted Lasso. I'm currently watching the second season of The Gentleman - I have a little thing for Theo James.
Runtime: Two hours 50 minutes (with two intervals)
Until: 15 September
Stars: 4.5
I needed to take a night before writing this review.
A play that's three hours long about a family caught in the Sri Lankan civil war over a generation. A striped backstage containing a large turntable and a wall pock-marked with bullets and two traditional musicians on the stage and a cast moistly unknown to Australian audiences take us through the harrowing journey of a family as they negotiate the horrors of a pointless and long running civil war.
I'm the first to admit that I know very little of the recent history of Sri Lanka, other than friends have emigrated to safety over the last century and that the situation was horrid. Violent, bloody and long lasting impacting a huge part of the population all for the want of power.
This play was first performed at the Belvoir Street Theatre in Sydney
The Jungle and the Sea shows a family coming to terms with all of this. Amma (Anandavalli) is the matriarch over four children. A Hindu married to Sivapalan (Prakash Belawadi) and elder of his church, the pair try to keep the family, and the community safe. Of their children, Lakshmi (Emma Harvie) is a budding lawyer accepted to university in Sydney. Madhu (Nadie Kammallaweera) is a budding vet, Abi (Kalieaswari Srinivasan) is in love with her childhood sweetheart Himal (Rajan Velu) and son Ahilan (Shiv Palekar) appears to be the happy-go-lucky younger brother. When the war comes close to the village, the town mayor, gives assurances that the churches and temples will not be targeted in the bombing raids. People shelter in these places. People die. Amma blindfolds herself to the world until her family are reunited after Appa and Lashkmi flee to Australia and Ahilan is conscripted into the Tamil Tigers. From here, the family are set on a journey to keep together as well as keep their dignity and humanity.
This is not an easy play to watch. However, it is powerful in its simplicity and drive. It's an incredibly human story - cutting, moving and deeply human. The themes of war, family, dignity and survival are all there, overlayed with grief and guilt.
I will say not more.
This is an incredibly work that begs to be seen. The MTC have added a couple of extra nights, due to the play's popularity.
This is a throught-provoking and incredibly moving play about a piece of history that few are aware of.
(As a side note, if you're looking to read more, in fiction, about this, the works of Shankari Chandran, particularly her novel, Safe Haven and Song of the Sun God look at this. Her novel, Chai Time at Cinnamon Gardens won the Miles Franklin Prize and is also extraordinary. It also looks at the Sri Lankan diaspora in Australia.
I found out something today. Mrs Norris, Mr Filch's cat in the Harry Potter series is named after a character in Jane Austen's Mansfield Park.
Currently, I'm listening to the audiobook of Mansfield Park, delighting at Austen's witty banter and funny characters, so I was rather delighted to meet the original Mrs Norris - a complete pain in the butt and a bit of a thorn in the protagonist, Fanny Price's side. It makes sense. Mrs Norris in Harry Potter is just the same.
Of course, Mansfield Park is one of the secondary Austens. Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility and Emma always ring out as the favourites. Mansfield Park sits with Northanger Abbey and Persuasion and the more underated novels (though I have a soft spot for Persuasion, and rather like the Netflix take on things - I know, an unpopular opinion.)
And if I was to name a cat after an Austen character, I'd probably go with something like Willoughby (horny scoundrel), Mary Bennet (misunderstood), Mr Collins (big, supercilious creep) or Brandon (Saviour)
Mind you, if I was to get another black cat, I'd call him Belly - short of Beelzebub. Beelzebub and Lucifer - what a pair. (Lucifer would eat a kitten - not going to do it.)
Anyway, that's what I discovered today.
I also wanted to get this out before my psychologist appointment, so I don't have to sit in front of the computer afterwards.
It's that time of the month. Kneecap (movie) is playing on SBS World Movies (Keep your hands off our SBS Pauline Hanson) and I'm about to tell you about what I read last month while singing along to Irish Hip Hop (or Hip Hop in Irish).
Anyway, despite the chaotic start to this post, here's what I read last month.
I read seven and a half books last month. The half is important - I got within 30 pages of finishing this, so it should count for something,
1) Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinneman - Audio - 4 Stars
This isn't my normal fare, but it's great fun. The plot is fairly simple. Carl, a veteran and fireman, finds himself on a large-scale computer game after the world is destroyed. He has no trousers. His only friend is his ex-girlfriend's persian cat, Princess Donut. This is manic, fun, rather violent in places, and sure, a little repetitive as we see Carl and Donut come to terms with the game - which is a mix between the Hunger Games, Tron and Zelda, and try to come out on top.
The audio book of this is fantastic.
But the commitment to the series - I'm not sure. There are now seven or eight books in the series - and they are huge. But I'm glad I've consumed this one. Even if it is just for the talking cat, who's hysterical.
2) Writers and Lovers by Lily King - Paper - 4.5 stars
I adored Lily King's Heart the Lover. Stunning little book. This was nearly as good.
Casey is trying to navigate life, writing and grief in her early 30s. This book looks at her navigating new relationships with a couple of men. It also looks at the writing process, the stuff we put ourselves through to be writers and how grief permeates our lives. The writing is gorgeous. This was very enjoyable. It comes highly recommended.
3) The Names by Florence Knapp - Paper - 4.5 Stars
This was my second reading of this, as it made it into our book group list. It really stands up to a second reading.
In The Names we first of all meet Cora, a woman in a joyless marriage about to go to register her son's birth. There are three strands to this. In the first, her son is given the name Bear, named by his sister Maya. In the second, the boy is named Julian - Cora's choice for his name. And in the third, he's named after his abusive father, Gordon.
This is a cracker of a book. It also comes with a trigger warning and there are themes of domestic violence and coercive control running though the story.
It's fantastic.
4) Lady Tremain by Rachel Hochhauser - Audio - 4
In this twist on the Cinderella story, we see this timeless take from the view of the step-mother, and to great effect.
Amazon give the blurb as such:
"After the death of her second husband, Lady Etheldreda Verity Isolde Tremaine Bramley is solely responsible for her two daughters, Rosamund and Mathilde, her simpering stepdaughter Elin, a razor-taloned peregrine falcon, and a crumbling manor buried in the woods.
When a royal ball offers the chance to change their fortunes, Ethel risks her pride in pursuit of an invitation for all three of girls - only for her hopes to be fulfilled by the wrong one: Elin.
Yet as her stepdaughter's engagement to the future king unfolds, Ethel discovers a sordid secret hidden in the depths of the royal family, forcing her to choose between the security she craves and the feckless stepdaughter who has rebuffed her at every turn..."
Fast paced, feminist, and fierce, it shows what women will do for their children, and their survival.
As I consumed this as an audiobook, I highly recommend Tanya Reynolds narration of the tale - she's currently playing Alice Chilton on Ted Lasso.
If your live revisionist stories, this might be your cup of tea. You see the evil step-mother as somebody else entirely. And can view Cinderella as somebody else entirely.
5) The Glassmaker by Tracey Chevalier - Audio - 4 stars
The Girl with the Pearl Earring is a favourite book of mine, so I was interested to pick up Tracy Chevalier's latest novel, which starts in Venice on the island of Murano, where the famous glass is produced.
Amazon provides this synopsis:
"Venice, 1486. Across the lagoon lies Murano. Time flows differently here – like the glass the island’s maestros spend their lives learning to handle.
Women are not meant to work with glass, but Orsola Rosso flouts convention to save her family from ruin. She works in secret, knowing her creations must be perfect to be accepted by men. But perfection may take a lifetime.
Skipping like a stone through the centuries, we follow Orsola as she hones her craft through war and plague, tragedy and triumph, love and loss.
The beads she creates will adorn the necks of empresses and courtesans from Paris to Vienna – but will she ever earn the respect of those closest to her?"
There is a lot to this book, not only the relationships and the family, but the research that's gone into aspects of glassmaking is fantastic.
Some may find the wandering timeline a bit difficult, but I loved how this took us on a journey of a couple of hundred years. It's a very worthwhile book. Tracy Chevalier writes brilliantly on all aspects of art and history. I'd happily read more of her works.
6) Sushi for Beginners by Marian Keyes - Audiobook - 3.5 stars.
Hands up, this is not my favourite Marian Keyes book. It's okay, but not great. First published in 2012, some of the themes have dated. Also, of the three main characters, Ashling, Lisa and Clodagh, I wanted to belt all of them regularly. Ashling needed to grow a spine, Lisa should be less up herself (though she and Ashling to get better, but there was very little to redeem Clodagh, a whining stay at home mother looking for more.
It was an okay diversion, but that is about it.
7) There are Rivers in the Sky by Elif Shafak - Audio - 5 Stars
This is going to go down as one of my books of the year. It is superb - but then again, everything Elif Shafak writes is amazing.
Like The Names, the book follows three strands, all of which are linked by a single drop of water.
As a brief synopsis, provided by Nile books,
"In 1840 London, Arthur is born beside the stinking, sewage-filled River Thames. With an abusive, alcoholic father and a mentally ill mother, Arthur’s only chance of escaping destitution is his brilliant memory. When his gift earns him a spot as an apprentice at a leading publisher, Arthur’s world opens up far beyond the slums, and one book in particular catches his interest: Nineveh and Its Remains.
In 2014 Turkey, Narin, a ten-year-old Yazidi girl, is diagnosed with a rare disorder that will soon cause her to go deaf. Before that happens, her grandmother is determined to baptize her in a sacred Iraqi temple. But with the rising presence of ISIS and the destruction of the family’s ancestral lands along the Tigris, Narin is running out of time.
In 2018 London, the newly divorced Zaleekah, a hydrologist, moves into a houseboat on the Thames to escape her husband. Orphaned and raised by her wealthy uncle, Zaleekah had made the decision to take her own life in one month, until a curious book about her homeland changes everything."
This is stunning. I've bought a copy for a friend who's travelling to Turkiye and who has a huge interest in the legends of Gilgamesh and Mesopotamia.
7.5) Sophie, Standing There by Meg Mason - Paper - ??
I will review this next month. As I said, I got within 30 pages of finishing this, but by rights I can't review it as it's a September book.
I want to write this in French - but I will refrain, but this would sound better in French. Most things sound better in French.
Tonight, coming home from work, I checked the letterbox. I'm used to checking it and finding nothing but the odd political flyer or piece of junk mail.
Today, there was a letter, addressed to me, in my handwriting, sent from France.
This bistro on the leafy Boulevard Saint Germain in the Fifth Arondisement not only has excellent food, bit it's a place where you can write a letter, to whomever you choose, and the bistro will send it on. You place the letter in a box when you want it sent, and they will send it on for you.
I wrote a letter to myself.
In French (because I can).
I asked for it to be sent in August of the following year. It arrived today.
I had no recollection of what I wrote. I remember sitting in the cafe. I remember that I was sick with the starts of a nasty cold. I remember having steak tartare and a very good creme brulee.
Also, I remember writing the letter and putting it in the August 2026 box.
And today it arrived. In French. Wishing me a happy birthday, and that I wasn't forgotten. It hoped I was happy and gainfully employed again (as I was technically between jobs when I wrote this.
I also like how this was signed off.
"Take this holiday. Say I love you all the time. Do your exercise. Love your life. Do all this, because you are the best. You deserve the world. Take the world in your hands. I love you. Me xx"
Week one at the new gym has come and gone and the sky is not falling in.
I've discovered the following:
1) You do get used to the new machines. There are three leg presses at the new place. They are all different. None of them are comparable to old faithful, but it's just a matter of adjusting. There's also lots of different machines - the same as the old place, but just a little bit different.
2) It appears to be busy between 5-7 on weekdays. We train with Cleo and Chuck at 6.30. It does seem to calm down during that last half hour.
3) Lots of ordinary people go to this gym. I love this about the place.
4) I rather like the zones in this place. Cardio machines are upstairs and out of the way. There's also a studio of classes up another set of stairs. The main gym is huge, but there's a back room with a couple of cable machines, some squat racks and lots of free weights - it's cool. I also like the bookable pilates reformer beds and infrared saunas - which all come free with membership.
5) Continuing with the boxing lessons at the other gym has been great. I'm a little fitter than I think I am. It's certainly helped reduce my fear of cardio and I've made the commitment to myself to do a couple of half hour sessions going forward. I can do it. It makes me feel good even if I go red in the face.
6) And I'm really loving that the gym is an easy five-minute's walk from my front door. It's keeping me out of Coles after they gym (though the local, and rather expensive IGA is only a few doors down, but in the wrong direction.)
It's all settling into a good regime. The routine is being found. Things are being found more easily. I don't feel intimidated. I'm happy.
