Many people have an opinion about hot cross buns, those Easter treats which appear on Boxing Day and hang about like an unwanted cousin at a wedding. There are also so many flavours to choose from now. Gone are the days where you received your obligatory spice bun with a cross on top on Easter Sunday (with or without mixed peel).
Checking the Coles app, you can currently get hot cross buns in the following flavours:
Traditional fruit
Fruit free
Gluten free
Apple and Cinnamon
Chocolate Chip
Arnott's Mint Slice (eww)
Raspberry and Matcha
Vegemite and Cheese
Doritos (double eww)
Arnott's Pizza Shapes (this is getting silly now)
Coles Finest Luxurious Fruit (In wonder if they have mixed peel in them)
Woolies, not to be outdone, also has:
Caramilk
Brioche Fruit
Mudcake
and Cinnabon whatever that may be.
See, I think this has all got a bit ridiculous. I reckon they should limit Hot Cross Buns to the traditional ones and maybe the choc chip ones - and if you're really lucky and swing by a Baker's Delight franchise, you might be lucky enough to get their Mocha Crack buns (seriously addictive).
These should be available from Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent, 40 days before Easter, giving people something to give up, long for and resolve to miss. You can buy them and put them in the freezer, ready for Easter Sunday, and then you can enjoy them afterwards.
But this hot cross bun availability from Boxing Day is just silly.
As are all the stupid alternative flavours.
And I know that many won't agree with me, but this is capitalism gone mad. Besides, there's probably not enough butter go around - because what's a hot cross bun without lashings of salted butter? (the real stuff, preferably French, never margarine.)
Love is having friends who understand your stimming.
Stimming?
According to A.I. stimming is:
Stimming is short for self-stimulating behaviour. It refers to repetitive movements, sounds, or actions that help someone regulate their emotions, energy, or sensory experience.
What does stimming look like?
It can include things like:
Hand-flapping
Rocking back and forth
Repeating words or phrases (echolalia)
Tapping fingers or feet
Spinning objects
Humming
Playing with hair or clothing
Some stimming is very noticeable, and some is subtle (like clicking a pen or bouncing a leg).
It’s often discussed in relation to Autism spectrum disorder, because many autistic people stim regularly. However, everyone stims to some degree. For example, biting your nails before a presentation or pacing while thinking are common forms of stimming.
My particular stim is keeping a bit of satin ribbon in my fingers.
I've been stimming since I was a baby. My parents dropped me with my aunt, uncle and cousins out the back blocks of Keith, South Australia as they went off on a skiing holiday. Being the resourceful baby, I raided the satin lining out of my uncle's hat, started rubbing my nose with it, as a self-soothing action because my parents had deserted me with this raucous family of seven, two of whom took me to show and tell one day... (family lore - my cousins still talk about it). Regardless, for the last 50 odd years, I've carted around a bit of satin ribbon. One is often in my handbag or pocket. It's not taken to work, but most other cases, when I'm on my own, I'll have my ribbon with me.
It's cheaper and less invasive than Prosac.
Anyway, I took my ribbon with me to the retreat. I'm around a lot of other neurospicy people, I don't need to explain stimming.
Regardless, I was going home, a passenger in tow, and I realise I don't have my ribbon. Hackles rise. Anxiety passes in a minute as I realise there is nothing I can do. I'm going have to raw dog it without it.
Never to mind, I tell myself. I couldn't turn around to look for it; I had to get my retreat mate to the airport. Besides, I have a spare at home.
The next day I noticed a post from my mate, Jazz, who'd stayed at Seacroft for an extra night. There was a flash of red in the background. I messaged her.
Pand: Mate, is there a red ribbon on the table where I was sitting? Asking for a friend.
Jazz: Yes, there is.
Pand: Oh, bummer, there it is. It's my stimming ribbon.
Jazz: Are you okay?
Pand: Sure. I have a spare, but it's not my favourite.
Jazz: Can I post it on to you.
Pand: I owe you dinner or something. Thank you.
Phew.
See, Jazz has three neurospicy kids. She gets quirks and stims and the small elements that can be the difference between peace and quiet or an utter meltdown. It's a bit different when you're an adult and can regulate a bit better, but still.
It turned up in the mail today.
I had another conversation about stimming with another retreat mate, also the mother of neurospicy kids, who admitted that one of their children carted around a ribbon too.
Frankly, I feel a little vindicated. There are people who understand!
I wasn't supposed to be going to the theatre tonight, but a friend had a spare ticket and I thought why not.
I'm glad I went. The production was plagued with some difficulties. One of the main characters was on book, and the understudy was playing another character - but they did exceptionally well, and I can't imagine how they did so well. Also in a crucial part of the play an audience member had a serious medical episode meaning the play had to stop while the ambulance was called and the audience member was taken out of the auditorium.
Regardless, the four actors did a great job.
According to the Malthouse website, "Black Light is a play about finding our way back to ourselves, to Country and to the people we love, when everything else tries to tear us apart.
Things are uneasy in town. No one’s sure what’s going on, or how long it’s going to last. Fuel is scarce, so is water, military jets fly overhead and all other flights are grounded. The only choice they have is to wait it out. Together.
The eldest in the family is Nan – she has dementia and finds it difficult to make sense of the world. The youngest is Bub. Recently separated from their wife, Bub is struggling to find stability and parent alone. Aunty and Mum are sisters and yet polar opposites. They nitpick at each other, barely able to conceal their disdain. There's so much history between them all, so much water under the bridge, and none of it clean.
What emerges while they wait, are the deeply ingrained fears they're all carrying. The pain and the wisdom. In the stillness, it all seems ever-present. But Country is speaking louder now and it cannot be ignored."
This took a bit to get into. The mix of near-dystopia, mixed in with the dreaming stories, mixed with the Larrakia vibe was unsettling, but very interesting.
The First Nations actors were all great. Sisters Liza and Rachael Maza as Mum and Aunty. Ella Ferris did a great job standing in as Bub, and Paula Nazarsky's Nan was on point despite being on book.
For me the thing that hit home the most was the set, which portrayed a normal Northern Territory verandah in the wet season, with a beach and rocks that are so like the Darwin foreshore. I didn't realise how much I'd missed it. It was exceptionally well done.
As I said, I'm glad I got to see this. I'm glad it took me out of my comfort zone and made me think. That's never a bad thing.
A lot of what goes on at the writer's retreat stays on the writer's retreat.
However, I'd like to share something about the trading table.
Most retreats we have a trading table - a place where you can off-load some of your old clothes, books, shoes and other accouterments, the proceeds are always sent on to a worthy charity. This time, we raised over $500 for a Palestinian children's charity. It feels nice to do some good.
I've picked up some awesome pieces over the years. My pink sparkly wellies, denim jacket and a number of t-shirts have come off the rack. Most retreats I'll take down a few books of reasonable quality and will come back with one or two. I found something I've been wanting to read on the table, donated $5 - done.
We've had cushion covers, hair bobbles (you know, the ones that used to leave craters in your skull as a kid) bathers, scarves. All sorts of decent stuff that people want to move on.
This time, there was one item that nobody was wanting to take. Everybody picked it up and had a look, but nobody was buying.
"Who put that there?"
"No idea."
"What the..?"
"Yes, it is what you think it is."
Somebody put a vibrator on the trading table.
It was in its box. Allegedly unused. One that works on the outside rather than the inside (think of "The Rose or The Lemon").
Did we ever find out who left this as a charity donation? No.
Did anybody buy it? No.
Did people pick it up, smirk and audibly ponder how it got there. Absolutely.
"I wonder if it's any good?" Somebody asked.
"It is. I've got it's brother at home." This came with a wry smile.
"You know, this is tempting," said another, "I left mine at home."
"I'm not sure if it's charged up," I provided.
"It doesn't take batteries."
"It does not. Comes with a charging cable. Most do now."
"You know about this?"
"I might do."
"I wonder what they want for it?" was another question.
"Well, it retails for around $100."
"You know this?"
"I might do."
The item remained on the table, continuing to provide an element of mirth.
I do wonder what you'd pay for a second hand vibrator.
It didn't sell. I'm not sure what's going to happen to it. Often the remnants are dropped off at a local op shop.
I wonder what Dorothy or Gladys or Gwen might think as they pull it out of the charity bin....
I've been reading a lot this month - on purpose as it's a reprieve from a busy life. I've consumed eight books of variable quality across a number of genres. Here's a short review on each book to demonstrate what a contrary reader I can be.
1. The One and Only Dolly Jamieson by Lisa Ireland
Format: Paperback
Stars: 3-ish
This was our February book group book, and if I'm honest, I wasn't enthralled with it. Dolly is a bit down on her luck. Once a famous actress she finds herself between abodes. She's in the library, her place of refuge, when she meets Jane, also in the library, seeking solace. Both women have a story to tell.
If I'm honest, as a book group book it was a bit light on, and some things needed an elastic imagination to get around some of the scenarios, but the themes were good, particularly around older women and homelessness.
It was okay.
2. Late Bloomer by Clem Bastow
Format: Audio
Stars: 5
On the other hand, this book spoke to me. Clem Bastow, Melbourne academic and writer has produced this wonderful memoir about what it is to be diagnosed later in life with autism. I listened to her read this on audiobook and it was brilliant. As I've got a late-gotten AUDHD diagnosis I found myself listening and nodding, relating, and hard relating to a lot of the content.
I reckon this is required reading for anybody finding themself on the spectrum later in life, coming to terms with the diagnosis and all that it brings. You are not alone.
Bastow is incredibly relatable.
3. A Lifetime of Impossible Days by Tabitha Bird
Format: Audio
Stars: 4
I picked this up in an audible sale and loved it a lot.
In this wise, funny and sometime baffling book you meet three versions of Willa. 8-year-old Super Gumboots Willa. 30-year-old Middle Willa, mother of two who's dealing with the fallout of a dysfunctional family. And we meet Old Willa, 91 years old and desperate to not go into the "plastic sheets home." The three Willas can meet through the ocean at the end of the garden.
The magic realism takes a little bit to get used to, but once you work out what's going on, you get to where the author is taking you.
Ostensibly, this is a story about healing from the effects of domestic violence, and because of this, I'll add this gentle trigger warning.
However, I loved the authors use of language and idiom. It's quirky and effective. As Super Gumboots Willa would say, "AMAZE-A-LOO!".
4. The Temperature by Katerina Gibson
Format: Paperback
Stars: 2.5
I was recently asked why I persist with books.
I started this last year while in Darwin and I abandoned it at around 100 pages. I picked it up again and tried to like it but didn't. I persisted. It took forever to finish. Yeah.
It's all over the place. There wasn't a likeable character in the novel, although there is some very good writing in places. I could see what the author was doing, but for me, it was too convoluted.
Already, it's been relegated to the street library. It doesn't come recommended.
5. An Offer from a Gentleman by Julia Quinn
Format: Kindle
Stars: 4
As the antithesis of The Temperature, I broke out the book of the latest Bridgerton series.
Julia Quinn is fun. A friend of mine says that she's soft-core porn in a lot of ways.
Benedict Bridgerton has always been my favourite of the tribe, and in this he's a lot harder and less self-reflective than the Benedict we see on television (and Luke Thompson who plays Benedict in the series is like... phwoar!)
Regardless, this is a reworking of Cinderella and on the second reading, it held up. It's light, fun, easy to read and so much more engaging than the last book I read.
It also goes to prove that I don't always go high-brow.
6. Heart the Lover by Lily King
Format: Audio
Stars: 5
From the slightly ridiculous to the sublime, Lily King's Heart the Lover is incredible. It's not a long book, and I listened to this over two days. I was driving around, finding places to go so I could listen to it. It's a stunner.
This coming-of-age novel is in three parts. You meet our unnamed protagonist, and her friends Sam and Yash. All three are at university in New England. All three are writers. Our protagonist embarks on a relationship with the staid Sam, although she feels a connection to Yash. And then things go to crap things change. Sam goes back to Florida, Yash remains. Our protagonist gets some opportunities to move abroad and find another life. Yash follows her. And then more things happen. I'm not going to spoil anything.
I absolutely loved this book. I can't wait to read it again. Accessible, glorious prose. Loved it.
7: Calls May Be Recorded for Training and Monitoring Purposes by Katherina Volckmer
Format: Paperback
Stars: 3
The best thing about this book is that I bought it at Shakespeare and Sons in Paris on the banks of the Seine. It was light, small and looked amusing. And it was light, small and reasonably amusing, and rather surprising and a bit blue in places.
Did I like it? Yeah... nah.... If found that feels like it was written for a bit of shock value.
For anybody who's worked in a dead-end job, you'll get some of the pointlessness of Jimmie's job.
But this did not light me up as I would have wished it to.
8. The 5-Second Rule by Mel Robbins
Format: Audio
Stars: 3
I try and read a non-fiction book a month and I've been seeing Mel Robbins books everywhere. This one relates her guiding rule that helps her get things done. The 5 second rule.
As much as I like the theory of this, the book was repetitive and preachy - which, from what I gather, is what Mel Robbins does best.
I'm glad I've read this, but I won't be reading it again.
I am on a writer's retreat down the Great Ocean Road. I am a very lucky woman. This is the view, which I took last night just before sunset.
It's wonderful.
I'm down to work on my novel, this is what I've promised myself to do this weekend, so I'm going to get the weekly questions out of the way early - along with my French lessons, daily haiku (which I'll tell you about next week) so that I have a clear path for writing.
1. Did you/will you have coffee or some other form of caffeine today?
Yes. But not much of it. I've only recently integrated a bit of it back into my diet. It works well with the Ritalin. I've had a coffee thi morning with a bit of caffeine. I'll be back on the decaf from this time. However, there is a bottle of coke zero in the fridge which will pep me up a bit later.
2. Who did you last have a text conversation with and what was it about?
I had a brief discussion with Jonella over text yesterday afternoon to tee up a time to have a chat on the phone. We were both going to be driving, just had to work out when would be the best time to chat.
I'm also waiting to hear if Lucifer is being nice to Jay. She's feeding him while I'm away.
3. Are there regular trains in and out of your town/city?
We're very lucky in Melbourne. There are suburban, regional and interstate trains that go in and out of the city from a number of large stations. We also have trams that roam around the city and terrorise unsuspecting drivers and pedestrians. Melbourne is pretty good for public transport - particularly if you're in the North and East.
4. Have you ever been hospitalized due to dehydration?
Thankfully, no.
5. Someone texts/IMs you just as you’re about to go to sleep. Do you reply?
It depends on who and what it is. I also have my notifications turned off after 10 pm so that I don't have to interact with people. I like having a clear, peaceful run before I go to sleep.
6. Do you grind your teeth?
No.
7. When you listen to music with headphones, do you keep the volume low enough to hear surrounding noise, or do you blast it?
Ah, I'm a funny one. I use bone conducting headphones, meaning my ears are clear to hear everything going on around me, but I still get a good audio experience. I don't like having things on or over my ears so these headphones are excellent.
8. Are you wearing nail polish?
No. And I don't wear it very often because as soon as it chips I bite it off. I am in desperate need of a pedicure too. My feet are manky.
9. Do you have an ice maker in your refrigerator door?
No. I bought a fridge last weekend, but it's just a normal fridge. I rent. My flat doesn't have the plumbing to have one.
10. Do you have a friend named James?
I have a couple of friends named James. Most are called James, never Jim or Jimmy. Most are lovely.
