If you ask me what I think about 'football' - which is normally known as 'soccer' here because we have lots of different football - as in Australian Rules Football, which is what I call football. Up in New South Wales and Queensland, they have Rugby League, which they call football. Then there's Rugby Union, which is different again, but that's rugby not football.
Regardless, if you ask me what I think about football/soccer, I will normally come back with the adage that if I want to see eleven people not score, I'd organise a group of mates to go down the pub.
I'm not really a football person, of any code. I like watching the haka before rugby union games. I'm a nominal Adelaide Crows supporter. I can tell you where we are on the ladder (Currently 5th) and if we won the week before (we did). I can normally tell you what North Melbourne and Hawthorn are doing as well, as friends are footy tragics and they don't shut up about it, so I make sure I know what's going on to be polite.
I go to the footy (Aussie Rules) once every two years where I'm told off for taking a book or my knitting with me and then I tune out until the last quarter.
Then there's this World Cup thing going on in America, and I prick up my ears.
It's like an election. There are tables and statistics and all sorts of things that appeal to my fizzy brain. The least of the things I'm interested in are the actual games.
I've loved watching the fans show the Americans how to have a good time.
The Dutch:
(I love the English translation.... skip your medication, so you can lose your mind...)
There's the Norwegians:
And the Scottish drinking every pub dry in their wake, complete with kilts and bagpipes:
Even the Aussies got in on the singing:
We also keep hearing of little towns being wonderful to the visiting teams. Case in point, the Algerians went to Kansas, and the Kansans took them on as one of their own.
This is joyful stuff.
Then you hear about the Americans, who have every right to play a team and do well. But when their lead striker was red carded, rightly or wrongly, and the U.S. President calls up the head of FIFA to get the red card revoked. It just stinks.
Even I've heard about how corrupt FIFA can be.
But that just sucks.
So today, I was an honorary Belgian.
Sitting in the office next to a colleague of Spanish extraction (he's happy) we kept our eye on the United States vs Belgium match.
"It's 3-1 with five minutes to go," I told him at one stage.
"There's 15 minutes to go."
"Really - I thought they were 40-minute halves."
"Nah, 45 minutes."
"Goes to show that I don't like soccer."
"Football."
"Whatever. The Belgians are winning and long may that remain. Today, I'm an honorary Belgian."
"Indeed. Me too."
I reckon that a lot of people were honorary Belgians today.
The final score, 4-1, felt a little like a cosmic reparation.
Well, it will be until the Orange Buffoon / Cankles McTacotits / Daddy Dumpy Pants / the Overinflated Ooompa Loompa / (insert your favourite name for the current US President here) demands of the FIFA president that there's a rematch....
Time for some Leffe and chips with mayonnaise I reckon.
Friday was doctor day. It had to be done. It's time to go back on a mental health plan. I think it's a good thing to talk over your mental health needs with a professional when you're in a good place.
So, I trudged over to the doctors, spilled my guts, worked out that I no longer have anxiety, but some lingering depression is there (yeah, yeah, we know) and thrown in the neurodiversity crap. All fun.
I get my mental health plan. I'm about to leave and she brings up the bear in the room.
"Have you thought about going on weight loss medication?" she asked.
"Umm, we tried Ozempic - I didn't like it. Made me feel awful."
"The drugs have changed a lot. Montjaro and Wegovy are much better than Ozempic."
"Really. And they're still expensive."
"Not as bad as Ozempic," she tells me.
"And they make your hair fall out..." I ask.
"Yes, that is one of the downsides." she tells me.
"Well, count me out. If it's going to make my hair fall out, I'm not interested. I'm a Leo. I need my mane."
"It's not a great side effect."
"Definitely not interested. Besides, the Ritalin drives down my appetite. It's a good thing."
We left the conversation there.
You can't part a Leo with her mane. It's not going to happen.
I went into this film blind and was blown away. I love when that happens. I knew there was a good chance that I'd like it. I mean, I like Leo Woodall and Dustin Hoffman. It's a New York story - and it's a bit offbeat. What I didn't see coming was the movie's soundscape, the soundtrack and the brilliant pace of this heist / thriller / drama. It's got a great pace and a huge heart.
Yet, Tuner has so much more. I love how this film was made, the story, the condition which makes Niki (Leo Woodall) both a character of sympathy, but this condition provides his special skill.
And the film's soundscape is extraordinary.
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At the start of the movie, we meet Niki working with Harry (Dustin*9 Hoffman) in Harry's piano tuning business. Harry is a lovely octagenarian wide boy services the pianos of New York - well, Niki does the work, Harry naps.
We soon find out two things about Niki. Firstly, he has a condition, hyperacusis, which makes him hypersensitive to sound - almost any sound. Quiet sounds are fine, but anything louder than a couple of people talking and Niki's in pain. He wears earplugs most of the time - noise cancelling headphones for the rest.
When Harry falls ill, Niki makes it his mission to pay his hospital bills. Having found his super-sensitive hearing allows him to crack safes, he falls in with a dodgy security firm, who use his talents an pay him well.
In the background, he meets Ruthie (Havana Rose Liu), a music student at the conservatorium, who he meets on a tuning job. Ruthie is initially prickly, but things happen.
And of course, the safe cracking jobs are fine until they're not.
A wonderful set up for a heist movie.
A couple of things stood out for me. Firstly, the movie's soundscape. We get a good insight into what Niki is hearing - and it's amazing. I'd be putting this one up for a Best Sound Oscar. The sound track is also great, being a mix of original compositions, classical and jazz standards and a bit of Nina Simone for good measure.
Daniel Roher's script is punchy but laced with pathos. He also directed the film - and has done a great job with it, keeping the pace going while not overegging the sentimentality.
As somebody who sometimes struggles with noise sensitivity, I got this film - and left me feeling being seen.
It's seriously a great concept and a thoroughly enjoyable movie. It's on at most of the art house cinemas, but it's coming to the end of its run. Check it out when it gets onto the streaming services and thank me later.
1) If you could attend a 4th of July fireworks display anywhere in the United States, where would you choose?
Sorry, I'll be blunt. I'm not a fan of fireworks - the noise and the light trigger me. Also, as an outsider, with some fairly defined views about the current administration, I highly doubt I'd get through immigration and customs without being locked up or turned around at the border (if they gave me a visa at all.)
I suppose, if I had ear protection and a reasonable vantage point away from the action, I'd like to watch the fireworks next to the Charles River in Boston. I love Boston.
2) What book are you currently reading?
On paper, I literally just finished Matt Haig's The Midnight Train. It was alright - I preferred The Midnight Library a lot more - this came across as a bit preachy.
I will start Amor Towles' The Lincoln Highway when I get back from the gym. It's our book group book for this month.
3) What have you been listening to?
If I have music on it's normally 80s and 90s alternative music, lots of Talking Heads, The Pixies, Bowie and The Rolling Stones.
I listen to a lot of audiobooks. I finished Kate Atkinson's Life After Life last night. It was excellent. It was so good that I picked up the audiobook of A God in Ruins, the follow-on book. She's a great author.
4) What shows or movies have you been watching?
Today, I went and saw Tuner, a movie about a piano tuner who finds his way into some very dodgy operations. It was fantastic. One of the best things I've seen this year.
As for televisin - It's the normal rotation of Netflix and family history docos.
"Tell your friends, get on the socials. Let them know there's a trans woman doing Hamlet. It's gotta be pissing somebody off somewhere." These were Suzy Izzard's parting words.
Them's fighting words. Good on her.
Suzy, as she likes to be known, along with using she/her pronouns, is phenomenal this a one woman working of the Bard's seminal play.
Yes, a solo show where the performer takes on Hamlet. Who knew?
This was mesmerising.
Regular visitors to this blog know that I'm a Shakespeare boffin. I've probably seen Hamlet a dozen times over the years. I love a good lugubrious Dane taking arms against the sea of a family shit show (see what I did there?)
Of course, an unabridged Hamlet runs to around four hours - and you can always hunt out Branagh's 1996 masterpiece for that (Anybody up for seeing that next time it's on at the Astor?)
This is a one-woman abridged version of Hamlet.
It is stunning.
There are no sets. There are no props (Izzard's amazing manicure the only bit of extra) There's a spotlight with some shadow tracking from the front of the stage. For the next two-and a-bit hours, she plays all the characters.
Yep. One woman and one of the Bard's most complex plays.
And she is magnificent. Flicking across accents and scenes, Izzard is a professional of the highest order. The funny bits stay funny. The poignant bits tug at your heart strings. She navigates this monster of a play with skill and seeming ease.
I loved that Rosencrantz and Guildenstern were portrayed as sock puppets (that was genius). Her mad Ophelia was heart rending. She got the ghost just right. She's amazing.
The thing that makes Shakespeare is a lot of its back and forth, which is what she did, flicking between characters, accents, gesticulation and mannerisms with a jump. Having watched her on stage for decades, I was aware of her stalking around the stage. For this, with the absence of props, sets and costumes.
It's exactly in this stripped back performance where the brilliance lies. You listen for the words, wait for the soliloquys and anticipate what will happen next.
If you're not familiar with Hamlet, this may not be the performance for you. It definitely helps if you know the play and its intricacies.
We had a discussion at interval. Only one of us had never seen Hamlet before, but had some knowledge of the main speeches.
"But what's going to happen next?"
"Oh, you know, they have to have Ophelia go mad, top herself, everybody gets in a tizzy, Hamlet comes back to Denmark, they bury Ophelia, there's a big fight and they all end up dead."
'Oh. In 45 minutes?"
"Yep. And she's broken for interval at the normal place. That bit with Polonius - they extract that for laughs. The "Goodnight, Mother," is in the text."
Which is harder to do when there is only one of you on stage.
Which, when you think about it. Izzard has absorbed a four-hour play, distilled it and played it in a theatre with the lights turned down, but not off, so she can see our faces as well as we can see hers.
This is a treat. I feel honoured to have seen it.
And to those unhappy people out there that there's a trans woman playing Hamlet - seriously, I mourn for your world view. We need more genius, compassion and excellence like this.
(And I'd love the name and number of her nail technician)
Go if you can. Is it the best Hamlet I've seen? No. But it is a brilliant performance all around.
We've had this conversation before. I don't know how the topic came up, but like many of our conversations, we ramble, go in and out of all sorts of subjects. Maybe I was talking about friends and friendship, or what was planned for the weekend. Maybe they were talking of their regular rituals. We have different lives, different circumstances. I know that we don't understand each other's lives. Different states, different set ups, different views.
"You could make that when you entertain." they said.
"I don't entertain."
"But don't you have people over?"
"No."
"But if people come over.."
"We meet at the front gate and we go to one of the umpteen Vietnamese restaurants around the corner."
"But you're a good cook..."
"Who doesn't have the set up to have people over. I can't remember the last time I had a friend over." (Actually, that's a lie, but it was about two years ago.)
"You have a table and chairs."
"My laptop lives on my table. The chairs are in the spare room."
"But.."
"I have a disparate friendship group. If you're out of a 30-minute radius, they're not going to come over. Also, being single, you're often a spare leg."
"But..."
"I don't entertain. I don't really know how to. And I'd have to clean up. That's hard. "
"How strange."
"Welcome to my world."
But it's not so strange. I've never entertained, choosing to meet at a nearby location - if not, it's takeaway on your lap, after I've dug the couch out from under the crap. I look at the wine glasses and extra coffee mugs and the like, knowing that they've been carted around from share house to share house. Glassware, napery, crockery, that were bought with the thought they'd be used for 'entertaining', rather than for collecting dust.
I haven't done this for a while, but as I feel like I need to get myself back on track - so goal setting it is.
If I'm honest, I've felt like I've been treading water for the last few months. My job, though fine, isn't that fulfilling and there's things I want to do and I need to put my mind to it.
I like achieving my goals, so here we go.
1) Back in the gym four times a week.
I'm in the gym two to three times a week. I also get a bit of incidental exercise in lugging around my work backpack. But I want more - I like my gym membership - I need to use it more. Not doing classes any more as the noise and the crowds get to me should not be a deterrent for going.
2) Read 50 pages a day
Again, I read a lot, but I want to get the works I read on paper or my kindle up. I've also got a thick book for book group. Must get reading it soon.
3) Strip the sugar out of my diet
I know I feel better without sugar. It's slid back in, it's time it went away again. Same goes for gluten, dairy and caffeine. I run better without all of these things.
4) A daily dose of Metamucil
Maybe file this under too much information, but the stuff does make you poo good. It goes well with the no sugar goal.
5) Write fiction
After the last Writer's Retreat, I'm all pumped about getting the first draft of this novel out the way. I've written nearly 90,000 words - there's about 30000 to finish it. It's just a matter of a lot of bum glue and getting over myself.
