F*ck the Scammers

I got scammed yesterday. Thankfully, they got away with nothing, the debit card has been cancelled, and my accounts are secured again, I've not come across this scam before - and I'm just happy that I spotted it and rang the bank immediately as soon as I realised. And that nothing was taken. Still, may they have a 1/100 chance of stepping on a Lego brick every time they take a step. 

So, here is the anatomy of a scam. Learn from my mistakes.

1) List some things on Facebook Marketplace. I've done this hundreds of times with no issue. 

My adds are fairly non-descript. Pick up from the Inner East or post at the buyer's cost. I use postage satchels. I also have the big words, PAYPAL preferred. No bank accounts, no other information given other than an email address. I've not had trouble with this before. 

2) Somebody contacts you about the item. Appears legit. The intended buyer asks if this is the item. Yes, I say. And what about shipping. I explain that I'm using postage satchels and will not be able to give tracking numbers and postage until Tuesday. They get irritated by this. First red flag. Most of Australia is on a Public Holiday on Monday - but they kept on. Okay - a bit strange, but I leave it. 

I must also preface this with the fact that I was in the hairdresser's chair at the time and I've not been feeling great for the last few days thanks to an ear infection. So rundown and distracted. Still, there is no excuse. 

3) Next thing I know they say they've paid me through some AusPost app. I explain that I'd prefer them to use PayPal, because at least with PayPal, things are anonymous and secure and no account details are shared. They keep at me that they've paid me and tell me to look at the link. I said this wasn't how I did business, but they kept at me. 

A message came up with an AusPost Banking link. Looked real on first sight. Maybe the post office had a banking app now?

I've done enough scam training. Things weren't sitting right. But stupidly, I clicked on the link and entered some details. 

4) The buyer was keeping at me. I kept telling them to hold their bloody horses. I asked if they could cancel this payment and use PayPal. They were most affronted by this, saying that they'd spend all their money and if they cancelled, they wouldn't get all their money back. They also wanted postage details. I'd explained - public holiday. Post Office isn't open until Tuesday. This chick is pissing me off. 

I call bullshit. What do they say about this? Create a sense of urgency? Yep. Alarm bells are ringing. My darling hairdresser keeps working on my mop. 

5) Then I get a text. Somebody called Jessica Gonzalez has added their details to my ING account. They want me to clink another link and verify that I was going to put $689 into some Crypto account. What the! Shit. Scam. 

Here is where my luck came in. The details they received were for a debit card which has about $50 in funds sitting on it, so they wouldn't get any funds. Secondly, without the verification number, nothing was going to be authorised - I've got secondary verification set up. I got onto the app, cancelled the card and then immediately called the bank. 

And I felt like an absolute fool. 

In the meantime, I let the scammer rant away at me... may as well let them think they're getting something. 

6) The woman on the phone at the bank, Rebecca, was fantastic. I was also wandering around Aldi checking out crap as I was doing this. She was ordered, kind, conciliatory and very thorough. My pin numbers were changed, a new card ordered, extra security put in place, the banking app deleted, my phone checked for malware, and as for Jessica Gonzalez, her details were wiped from my contacts.

The scammer was still ranting at me to accept the payment over Messenger. I used a patient tone saying I'd get to it when I was home from running my errands. They didn't like this. Sucks to be them. 

7) Once my banking was completely sorted, went back to Facebook Market place, blocked the scammer, reporting to the powers that be for what they were, and the dress went back to being available. 

Phew. 

Yes, hands up, I was distracted and foolish - NEVER CLICK THE LINKS. It's the first rule. 

Secondly, I'm vigilant with regards to monitoring my accounts. It's done daily and it takes a few seconds. I've picked up scams on my main credit card quickly. It was also good yesterday when asked about items on the card I could say what they were and when they were - and that all of this palaver had happened in the last hour. There are people who don't see this stuff for weeks and have their accounts drained. 

Thirdly, trust your instincts. If a buyer is acting pushy, going against your boundaries (I said PayPal! You don't have it - get it or find another seller to harass.) cut them off. Which in hindsight, I should have done immediately.

I'm feeling lucky. Stupid, but lucky. 

Lesson learned. 

And to the scammers, may the fleas of a thousand camels nestle in their pubes. 

Today's song:

Sunday Stealing is Yummy

 I'm counting my blessings. I got scammed today. Thankfully, I caught it quickly, stopped all my accounts, cancelled the compromised card and lost nothing - but I'm still angry - more with myself, but I'm pleased that all is in order now. Still, may the fleas of a thousand camels nestle in the pubes of the scammers. 

So, it's nice to have something better to write about. COOKIES!

Questions, as always, come from Sunday Stealing. 

Allegedly it's National Oreo Cookie Day. Hand on heart, Oreo's aren't a big thing in Australia and I find them very boring. We have far better biscuits here. Seriously, American's don't know what they are missing. 

1. Are you able to pass by a plate of cookies and not take one or are you a bit of a "Cookie Monster?"

I used to be a cookie monster. Now, I try to stay away or just have one. There's too much sugar in them for my liking. 

2. Tell us about your favorite cookie. Have your tastes changed since you were a kid?

I'm going to talk Australian biscuits (cookies) here because we have a completely different culture. 

My favourite biscuits are my grandmother's recipe Yo Yo biscuits, also known as Melting Moments. Butter, icing sugar, custard powder, a bit of flour and vanilla, held together with some almond icing. They are the bomb.

My next favourite are Anzac biscuits, but they have to be very thin, crunchy on the outside and a little bit chewy ion the inside. I had a colleague in Darwin who made they and they were life changing. I still think about them.

Of packet biscuits, I'm a big fan of Arnott's Venetian biscuits.

 Though the lemon crisps are very good too - a little salty, a little sweet. 

And if I can find them, The Cookie Man's Harlequin biscuits remind me of my grandfather. 

3. Enquiring minds want to know if you are a dunker and, if so, do you dunk in milk, coffee, or tea?

Yes, I'm a dunker. Preferably in milky hot tea, though I can do a Tim Tam Slam with coffee. I used to get told off for it when I was a kid. 

Then there is the Time Tam Slam. Tim Tam Slams, you ask. Tim Tams are an iconic Australian chocolate biscuit. What you do is you bite off opposing corners of the Tim Tam and then suck your coffee through one corner. It's a very Australian thing. It's good. You need to demonstrate one to get through your Australian citizen ship test. 

4. It is that time of year and they are selling them on every corner and in front of every store!  Do you buy Girl Scout cookies and if you do, which is your favorite?

Alas, girl scout cookies aren't a thing over here. They used to have these really good plain ones when I was a child, but I've not seen them in decades. 

5. Raw cookie dough.  Yay or Nay?

Ah yes, but only in Ben and Jerry's ice cream. 

Today's song:             

                                              

I hate Public Holidays

 I'll do this in dot points:

• Public holidays irritate me because I don't get paid. 
• Even more so when you've had to take off a day the previous week. 
• See, I have an ear infection - and yesterday, I felt like utter crap. 
• I am on antibiotics. 
• And thankfully, this time, my eardrum didn't burst. 
• Still, I'm running at around 75% batteries. 
• It will be better again tomorrow. 
• I still don't like Public Holidays. 
• I may do a little work over the weekend. 
• I have meditation tomorrow morning. 
• And my hair's being cut and coloured tomorrow. 
• I might take my writing laptop with me and find a library between the two sessions.
• My ears are ringing. Seems ear infections make low-grade tinnitus worse. 
• I'll need to go and see Blarney to pick up the book group book for the month.  
• I've got lunch with a friend on Monday. 
• I want to do the floors sometime over the weekend. I hate doing floors. 
• And finish my current book (Margaret Atwood's Hag-Seed. I love Margaret Atwood. 
• But generally, I don't like public holidays. They make me lose money. 
• And I never do anything constructive with them. 
• I'm going to take my ringing ears to bed now. 

Today's song: 

Unpopular Opinion - Hot Cross Buns

Many people have an opinion about hot cross buns, those Easter treats which appear on Boxing Day and hang about like an unwanted cousin at a wedding. There are also so many flavours to choose from now. Gone are the days where you received your obligatory spice bun with a cross on top on Easter Sunday (with or without mixed peel). 

Checking the Coles app, you can currently get hot cross buns in the following flavours: 

• Traditional fruit 
• Fruit free
• Gluten free
• Apple and Cinnamon
• Chocolate Chip
• Arnott's Mint Slice (eww)
• Raspberry and Matcha
• Vegemite and Cheese
• Doritos (double eww)
• Arnott's Pizza Shapes (this is getting silly now)
• Coles Finest Luxurious Fruit (In wonder if they have mixed peel in them)

Woolies, not to be outdone, also has: 

• Caramilk
• Brioche Fruit
• Mudcake
• and Cinnabon whatever that may be.

See, I think this has all got a bit ridiculous. I reckon they should limit Hot Cross Buns to the traditional ones and maybe the choc chip ones - and if you're really lucky and swing by a Baker's Delight franchise, you might be lucky enough to get their Mocha Crack buns (seriously addictive).

These should be available from Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent, 40 days before Easter, giving people something to give up, long for and resolve to miss. You can buy them and put them in the freezer, ready for Easter Sunday, and then you can enjoy them afterwards. 

But this hot cross bun availability from Boxing Day is just silly. 

As are all the stupid alternative flavours. 

And I know that many won't agree with me, but this is capitalism gone mad. Besides, there's probably not enough butter go around - because what's a hot cross bun without lashings of salted butter? (the real stuff, preferably French, never margarine.)

Today's song: 

Stimming

Love is having friends who understand your stimming. 

Stimming? 

According to A.I. stimming is:

Stimming is short for self-stimulating behaviour. It refers to repetitive movements, sounds, or actions that help someone regulate their emotions, energy, or sensory experience.

What does stimming look like?

It can include things like:

• Hand-flapping
• Rocking back and forth
• Repeating words or phrases (echolalia)
• Tapping fingers or feet
• Spinning objects
• Humming
• Playing with hair or clothing

Some stimming is very noticeable, and some is subtle (like clicking a pen or bouncing a leg).

Why do people stim?

Stimming can help with:

• Managing anxiety or stress
• Processing strong emotions (excitement, frustration, overwhelm)
• Focusing or concentrating
• Coping with sensory overload
• Expressing joy

It’s often discussed in relation to Autism spectrum disorder, because many autistic people stim regularly. However, everyone stims to some degree. For example, biting your nails before a presentation or pacing while thinking are common forms of stimming.

My particular stim is keeping a bit of satin ribbon in my fingers. 

I've been stimming since I was a baby. My parents dropped me with my aunt, uncle and cousins out the back blocks of Keith, South Australia as they went off on a skiing holiday. Being the resourceful baby, I raided the satin lining out of my uncle's hat, started rubbing my nose with it, as a self-soothing action because my parents had deserted me with this raucous family of seven, two of whom took me to show and tell one day... (family lore - my cousins still talk about it). Regardless, for the last 50 odd years, I've carted around a bit of satin ribbon. One is often in my handbag or pocket. It's not taken to work, but most other cases, when I'm on my own, I'll have my ribbon with me. 

It's cheaper and less invasive than Prosac. 

Anyway, I took my ribbon with me to the retreat. I'm around a lot of other neurospicy people, I don't need to explain stimming. 

Regardless, I was going home, a passenger in tow, and I realise I don't have my ribbon. Hackles rise. Anxiety passes in a minute as I realise there is nothing I can do. I'm going have to raw dog it without it. 

Never to mind, I tell myself. I couldn't turn around to look for it; I had to get my retreat mate to the airport. Besides, I have a spare at home. 

The next day I noticed a post from my mate, Jazz, who'd stayed at Seacroft for an extra night. There was a flash of red in the background.  I messaged her. 

Pand: Mate, is there a red ribbon on the table where I was sitting? Asking for a friend. 

Jazz: Yes, there is. 

Pand: Oh, bummer, there it is. It's my stimming ribbon. 

Jazz: Are you okay?

Pand: Sure. I have a spare, but it's not my favourite. 

Jazz: Can I post it on to you. 

Pand: I owe you dinner or something. Thank you.  

Phew. 

See, Jazz has three neurospicy kids. She gets quirks and stims and the small elements that can be the difference between peace and quiet or an utter meltdown. It's a bit different when you're an adult and can regulate a bit better, but still. 

It turned up in the mail today. 

I had another conversation about stimming with another retreat mate, also the mother of neurospicy kids, who admitted that one of their children carted around a ribbon too. 

Frankly, I feel a little vindicated. There are people who understand!

And I love them for it. 

Today's song: 

Theatre Review: Black Light

 The Production: Black Light by Jada Alberts

The Theatre: The Merlyn at The Malthouse

Runtime: 90 minutes

Until: 7 March

Stars: 4

I wasn't supposed to be going to the theatre tonight, but a friend had a spare ticket and I thought why not. 

I'm glad I went. The production was plagued with some difficulties. One of the main characters was on book, and the understudy was playing another character - but they did exceptionally well, and I can't imagine how they did so well. Also in a crucial part of the play an audience member had a serious medical episode meaning the play had to stop while the ambulance was called and the audience member was taken out of the auditorium. 

Regardless, the four actors did a great job. 

According to the Malthouse website, "Black Light is a play about finding our way back to ourselves, to Country and to the people we love, when everything else tries to tear us apart. 

Things are uneasy in town. No one’s sure what’s going on, or how long it’s going to last. Fuel is scarce, so is water, military jets fly overhead and all other flights are grounded. The only choice they have is to wait it out. Together. 

The eldest in the family is Nan – she has dementia and finds it difficult to make sense of the world. The youngest is Bub. Recently separated from their wife, Bub is struggling to find stability and parent alone. Aunty and Mum are sisters and yet polar opposites. They nitpick at each other, barely able to conceal their disdain. There's so much history between them all, so much water under the bridge, and none of it clean. 

What emerges while they wait, are the deeply ingrained fears they're all carrying. The pain and the wisdom. In the stillness, it all seems ever-present. But Country is speaking louder now and it cannot be ignored."

This took a bit to get into. The mix of near-dystopia, mixed in with the dreaming stories, mixed with the Larrakia vibe was unsettling, but very interesting. 

The First Nations actors were all great. Sisters Liza and Rachael Maza as Mum and Aunty. Ella Ferris did a great job standing in as Bub, and Paula Nazarsky's Nan was on point despite being on book. 

For me the thing that hit home the most was the set, which portrayed a normal Northern Territory verandah in the wet season, with a beach and rocks that are so like the Darwin foreshore. I didn't realise how much I'd missed it. It was exceptionally well done. 

As I said, I'm glad I got to see this. I'm glad it took me out of my comfort zone and made me think. That's never a bad thing. 

Today's song: 

The Trading Table

A lot of what goes on at the writer's retreat stays on the writer's retreat. 

However, I'd like to share something about the trading table.

Most retreats we have a trading table - a place where you can off-load some of your old clothes, books, shoes and other accouterments, the proceeds are always sent on to a worthy charity. This time, we raised over $500 for a Palestinian children's charity. It feels nice to do some good. 

I've picked up some awesome pieces over the years. My pink sparkly wellies, denim jacket and a number of t-shirts have come off the rack. Most retreats I'll take down a few books of reasonable quality and will come back with one or two. I found something I've been wanting to read on the table, donated $5 - done. 

We've had cushion covers, hair bobbles (you know, the ones that used to leave craters in your skull as a kid) bathers, scarves. All sorts of decent stuff that people want to move on. 

This time, there was one item that nobody was wanting to take. Everybody picked it up and had a look, but nobody was buying. 

"Who put that there?"

"No idea."

"What the..?"

"Yes, it is what you think it is."

Somebody put a vibrator on the trading table. 

It was in its box. Allegedly unused. One that works on the outside rather than the inside (think of "The Rose or The Lemon").

Did we ever find out who left this as a charity donation?  No. 

Did anybody buy it? No. 

Did people pick it up, smirk and audibly ponder how it got there. Absolutely. 

"I wonder if it's any good?" Somebody asked. 

"It is. I've got it's brother at home." This came with a wry smile.

"You know, this is tempting," said another, "I left mine at home."

"I'm not sure if it's charged up," I provided. 

"It doesn't take batteries."

"It does not. Comes with a charging cable. Most do now."

"You know about this?"

"I might do."

"I wonder what they want for it?" was another question. 

"Well, it retails for around $100."

"You know this?"

"I might do."

The item remained on the table, continuing to provide an element of mirth. 

I do wonder what you'd pay for a second hand vibrator. 

It didn't sell. I'm not sure what's going to happen to it. Often the remnants are dropped off at a local op shop. 

I wonder what Dorothy or Gladys or Gwen might think as they pull it out of the charity bin....

Today's song: