Saturday, February 28, 2015

The Stuff that Doesn't Get Said

I had an interesting discussion with a workmate the other day. He'd just been to a gig where Slash was being supported by a band called Steel Panther.He was telling me about the band, how they're a parody band of eighties rockers and how they go on about "tits and sex and pussy" and they're really, really funny.

The grumblings of my feminist self started to wake.

We talked a bit more. This group is one of his favourite bands. I asked why. He said they were funny - and he got that they were sending up the world of glam rock. He then went and relayed how women were singled out of the audience and a few other things that happened at the concert.

I turned white. He noticed this and asked why.

"You know, I get parody, I laugh at parody - but in this case, just at this time, I can't support your choices." I told him. "I know I laugh at Ali G and Borat - and I know I shouldn't. I get it. Just not this week. Just not today."

"How come?" he asked.

"Well, I've seen too many women get abused by men this week."

"How do you mean?"

I gave three examples.

The first being the bullying of Gillian Triggs in Federal Parliament. Deplorable behaviour by people who are supposed to be leading the country and really should know better. It appears that our current government cannot abide strong, intelligent women, not that they would appear to know any different - look at how they treated Julia Gillard during her time in office. This travesty is going down in the annals of history, possibly as the last straw that brings down Tony Abbott as Prime Minister.

These men are perpetuating the misguided belief that women, especially intelligent, strong women are somehow inferior to them.

Of course, not all men, hopefully most men have no bar of this notion, but when it's seen in full view of the press what sort of example are these people setting (Senator Ian McDonald saying "I thought you'd like to hear a man's voice... in a senate enquiry - like what the hell!)

The second incident involved an acquaintance. She's an intelligent, lively, woman who also works part time as a glamour model. She let it be known that some freak, (the tamest language I can find for this moron) messaged her videos of himself masturbating to her. Unsolicited, into her facebook messenger.

Seriously. What gives this lunatic the right to send videos of him spanking the monkey to somebody 1) he doesn't know 2) has never met or 3) just anybody, ever, without their full consent? Why would you do something like this?

This woman, who only deserves the best in life, is abused for her looks. She has a job using her blessed beauty. What gives some arsehole the right to do this to her? What possesses him to even think that this is okay? Why can't women of whatever shape or size just do what they want, when they want, however they may be dressed at the time, whatever they may do for a living?

Since what this creep did was illegal (stalking for one, lewd behaviour, obscenity for a start) and he's easily traced as it came from his facebook page...I'm hoping she took this to the police and teaches the cretin a lesson he won't forget in a hurry.

Why do women have to put up with this shit? I've been attending "Reclaim the Night" marches for 20 years now? Why, in this day and age does this garbage still happen?

The last event happened to me last Saturday night while going into White Night. Standing around just waiting for the tram. Why to passing men have to point at me, stare and call me names? Okay, I'm not the world's most attractive woman, never have been, never will be, but seriously - to call me a fat, ugly cow and a freak while standing at the tram stop on the way to a festival. Like why? I'm 46 years old (these guys looked to be in their 30s) Aren't I too old to have abuse hurled at me in the street?

And no, there is no such thing as the "I was drunk" defence. Personally, I thought this shit had stopped long, long ago.

It appears not.

Karma will get them. I let it wash over me and had forgot about it by time the tram came. But still. Why don't I have the right to walk the streets without having abuse hurled at me by dickhead men?

Part of me wanted to hurl at them,"I bet you have small penises and I make double what you earn." or "How would you like it if somebody said that to your daughter or sister?"

I didn't. I have more class than that.

So this is why I'm a bit sensitive about men's treatment of women at the moment.

I asked my colleague what he would think if it was his daughter on stage flashing her boobs, or having lewd videos sent to her, or being verbally abused in the street. He said he would hate that.

When this all men, not just most men, start treating women with the respect they deserve all times, then I'll think about laughing at sexist parody once again.

I might be in for a long wait.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

The Colourful Meme

It's the day after White Night in Melbourne, a festival of colour and light, so it seem appropriate that the KwizGiver. author of Sunday Stealing,  has chosen a colour meme for today. White Night has left me exhausted but happy - Jay and I went for a few hours and it was a fun, peaceful and illuminating night - I'll shove a few of my photos at the end of this meme. It was a wonderful experience.

So here we go:

Could you tell me please, what color each of these things are?

~ Your hair: 

Currently auburn - out of a bottle of course -no idea what my natural hair colour might be.

~ Your eyes: 

Pine tree green

~ Your shirt: 

Black. nothing new there

~ Your socks:

Not wearing any, it's about 32 degrees and muggy outside (try 95 F for the Americans about the place)

~ Your shoes: 


~ Your purse: 

Do you mean my handbag? Black.

~ Your wallet: 

Green and teal -  a MyWalit arrangement. Love Italian leather.

~ Your phone: 


~ Your computer/laptop: 

White - okay, a grubby, dusty white.

~ Your earphones: 


~ Your best friend’s hair: 

Dark brown / Black

~ Your best friend’s eyes: 

Blue (She's Irish - pretty common arrangement)

~ Your sky today:

Grey with patches of blue coming through.

And here are those photos I was telling you about. White Night is a great festival. Colourful, eh!

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

The Say Something Nice to Somebody Challenge

There is so much bad new run in our media - I'm over it. I turned on the television after coming back from the gym last night to find that there were more ISIS beheadings, that the country is going broke, a couple of cyclones are about to hit the Northern Territory coast. Politicians are still delusional, people unfortunately trip in front of garbage trucks and die on the way to work. All horrid stuff that we're inundated with on a daily, if not hourly basis.

So my antidote to this is the "Say something nice to somebody everyday" challenge.

It's not so much a challenge as a behaviour I'm instilling. It's not very hard. It only takes  a few seconds and it make you - and the other person on the receiving end feel a hell of a lot better. It lifts the vibrations of the world.

What do you do?

Say something nice to a stranger. Not hard. Not sleazy. Nothing controversial. It's just a few words. Not even that necessary - but you should see how it lights up both of your days.

Pick safe targets - things like "That is a really pretty dress you're wearing" or "You child's behaviour is a credit to you" (when deserved - I sat next to a kid on a plane a few weeks back - I said this to her mother - lovely flight, nice kid - she smiled and thanked me for my words.) Small, little things that show your appreciation, admiration or gratitude.


I was the target for random words of kindness a few months ago which is where the idea came from. Walking to the tram stop a woman stopped me in the street. Never seen her before, it was a normal work day morning. She stopped me and said "That red top looks beautiful on you." That colour makes you shine. The said red top is nothing special - I wear it all the time. Her words made my day.

This morning's kind words were a bit away from the norm.  I was being eyeballed by a three-year-old at the traffic lights at the end of my street this morning on the way to the train. Three-year-olds can be very disconcerting when they stare at you. 

I smiled and said to her "Do you want to push the button?"  She beamed at me, went up, pressed the traffic light button and skipped back to her father (who smiled and nodded in recognition)

How to make a little kid's day - ask them to press the button at the traffic light.

How easy can it be? (This one was done with tacit parental approval, of course - saying that, I'm a sucker for playing peekaboo with babies on public transport - that can make me smile for hours)

How to make my day? Know that I've made somebody smile - if only for a few seconds.

Surely it can't be that hard to remind the world that this isn't the big, scary place that we make it out to be. Surely a few words of simple kindness and appreciation can help to dispel all of the crap that is put in front of us each and every day.

It was Gandhi who said "Be the change you wish to see."

This is my small contribution to making the world a more peaceful, pleasant and joyful place.

Give it a try and see how you go. I'd love to find out what happens.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

The Love is in the Air Meme

It appears Valentine's Day has got to the the Kwizgiver at Sunday Stealing. After spending most of my adult life trying to avoid Valentine's Day this might be a bit interesting to answer.

Define love in your own words. 

I'm not sure I can to that - it's like the ultimate kindness, fondness and respect I suppost. A need on both parts. Seriously, no idea.

What do you want in a relationship? 

Kindness, respect, calm, fun, laughter

What do you contribute to a relationship 

I really have no idea, not having ever been in a long term relationship - I'm not a bad cook, can keep a house and I'm good at listening.

Do you have a Valentine? 


If not, are you happy being single? 

I love being single - can do what I like when I like and I have lots of friends.

Describe the perfect V-day date in your opinion: 

Valentines Day is a piece of commercial crap. Going out with friends having fun is about the best you can do on this day - just avoid going to restaurants as you never get a table.

Dream Date? 

Clive Owen

What is your crush's name? 

Clive Owen

Do you believe in love at first sight? 

Yes. Fallen victim to it - it's not fun.

This or that 

Chocolates or must pick one! 

Flowers, they last longer

A short kiss or a big hug? 

Big hug thanks.

Cute and dimwitted, or Average and brilliant?

Average and brilliant every day. 



Sense of humour and intelligence. Long and lanky is never a bad thing either - and I'm a bit fond of hairy chests.


Rudeness, insensitivity, runs hot and cold, shortness of temper - and those who don't bathe enough.

What thing should a guy never say to you? 

Both of these have been said to me - neither went down well.

"You'd be so pretty if you lost weight."


"You're one of those brainy birds, aren't you..."

How do you feel about kissing on the first date? 

Kissing, at the end of a first date, is fine - but nothing more.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

I think it's called schadenfreude

Shadenfreude: (noun) To delight in somebody else's misfortune. German origin Shaden harm + freude joy

It's wrong to delight in somebody else's misfortune - correct? As a freemason, I try to act in a just and rightful way, taking care to watch my actions and be nice to people. As I try to be a good person. I try.

But you know that feeling when you're watching movie when the bully finally gets his just rewards - that feeling of "I know I shouldn't be feeling good about the bully with his head down the toilet, but gee it feel really good that' he's got his come uppance."

Australian Politics has gone into a new realm. I like to think that the current Liberal National Coalition has turned Shadenfreude into a sport. Most of the nation find themselves on a daily basis with a bucket of popcorn sitting in front of the telly, smirking (and despairing) at the ineptitude of our current Federal Government.

Most of us are looking a bit like this:

Or just sitting on the couch waiting for the next cock up to occur. After the failed spill motion our "Dear Leader" as I will now refer to Mr Abbott told the country that "Good Government starts today."

Like what the fuck has he been doing for the last 16 months? Why didn't they start good government back then?

You can't make some of this stuff up - seriously.

The last sixteen months has been a clusterfuck of gaffes and backtracks. The suppository of all knowledge, calling Canada, Canadia (in Canada), only wheeling out the wife when he knows he's in trouble. The last straw was the knighting of Prince Philip.

At a barbeque in the Liberal heartland of Myponga, where they have the wet rag Jamie Briggs as their MP, the mood was angry - "He's got to go", "The Prime Minister is delusional - along with his cabinet" - these were the comments coming from life-long Liberal voters! And don't get the people of Myponga started on the hash they've made on the budget.

The news keeps getting worse. Our Dear Leader is hitting out at the Human Rights Commission for saying bad things about him - accusing them of being partisan. There was the reference to a "Holocaust of Jobs" being lost in Parliament today... from the mouth of our Dear Leader.

When is this going to end?

Mind you, as much as enjoying the feeling of shadenfreude I would prefer a good and balanced government instead. Really. I'm getting a bit tired of having this muppet lead our country. There is something rather embarrassing about our Dear Leader knocking the Dunning-Kruger scale off the charts. Never heard of the Dunning Kruger Effect.

Here's a description.

Dunning-Kruger Effect: "Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments."

Describes him in one.

Or in other words - our Dear Leader - Tony Abbott is like a post turtle. I've been saying this for two years.

These be interesting times in Australia.

Hopefully it won't be too long before this Post Turtle of a Prime Minister and his merry band of delusional henchmen are wiped from the political landscape.

Sunday, February 8, 2015

The Why Do You Want to Know That Meme

Just back from a weekend away to find that I haven't done my meme for the week.

Ah well. Sunday Stealing has provided once again - though I'll have to be quick tonight - I'm in workshops all day tomorrow.

1. What TV gameshow/reality show would you like to be on? 

Err, none.

2.  What was the first movie you bought in VHS or DVD? 

Seriously, I have no idea but I know I destroyed two sets of the BBC series of Pride and Prejudice over the years.

3.  If you had one million dollars to spend only on yourself, what would you spend it on? 

Travel - or a house.

4. One place you've visited, can't forget and want to go back to? 

There are a few of these but Italy springs to mind - I want to see more.

5. Do you trust easily? 


6. Do you generally think before you act, or act before you think? 

I try to think before I act, but sometimes you just can't do that.

7.  Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days? 

Other than the Australian Federal Government - no, not really.

8.  Do you have a good body image? 

It's reasonable - I'm a bit of a realist, but I don't hate my body. It is strong, fit and toned. That is the main thing.

9.  What is your favorite fruit? 


10. I’m always being asked…

Why don't you have a cat?

11. The last big belly laugh I had was…

This had me chuckling for a while:

12. What websites do you visit daily? 

The Age (
The Guardian (
Lumosity (
The Bureau of Meteorology (

 13. What have you been seriously addicted to lately? 

Last week it was Branston pickle. Love Branston Pickle.

 14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is? 

Nobody tagged me.

15. What's the last song that got stuck in your head? 


 16. Favorite clothing? 

Anything comfortable

17. Do you think Rice Krispies are yummy? 

What are Rice Krispies? Not American. Are they like rice bubbles - haven't had them in years.

18. What would you do if you saw $100 lying on the ground? 

If I could immediately work out who it belonged to, I'd give it back - if not, then I'd keep it - being honest here.

19.  Items you couldn't go without during the day? 

Phone, wallet, glasses, running shoes

20.What should you be doing right now?

Cleaning and tidying the flat. Joy.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

The Woes of Waiting

Australia is waiting for a few things at the moment.

I give Tony Abbott a week - on or about the ninth of February he will be ousted from office. I'm going by the stars and planets - Mercury goes direct on the eighth - once all the communication stuff ups stop, the path will be cleared.

Well that is my view. When you're being lead by a delusional fool, you may as well place your faith in the stars. The results will probably be better. I can put my faith in the stars - they will be there tomorrow. I'm not sure our Prime Minister will be there much after the fifteenth of March. (Beware the Ides of March....) Haven't checked my tarot cards but I don't think it can be too long - too many gaffes have occurred over the last seventeen months. Australia is finally waking up to the utter tool and his mates that were voted in two Septembers ago.

Australia is also waiting on another rather nasty event to occur, not that the removal of Abbott will be something distasteful - I see a few parties and dancing in the streets.

Nearly ten years ago, a group of nine bogan opportunists were caught smuggling drugs out of Bali. Known as the Bali Nine, six were convicted and sentenced to long jail sentences, three to death - one has since had his sentence commuted to life behind bars. It appears that now, the Indonesians are preparing to execute the last two.

I see no point to the death penalty. None at all. I think it's barbaric that the state can snuff out people's lives. The last person executed in Australia was in 1966. The death penalty was taken off the statues in 1972. Since then, some 43 years later, we as a nation have never discussed bringing it back - something I'm more than happy about.

However, this does not stop other sovereign nations periodically executing our citizens for crimes committed on their soil.

Case in point. The two ringleaders of the Bali Nine. They are days, weeks away from being taken out to some remote location, asked whether they want to sit, stand or lie, wear a hood or not and they will then be shot through the heart. The fact that the Australian public are aware of these facts is not great. Do we really need to know that if the riflemen stuff up and the prisoner is still alive that they are treated to a bullet to the temple to finish off the job?

Death at the hands of the state is never a clean matter. It's always been something of public fascination as well. Think back to the 1800s where mass public hangings were the norm. Or turn to Dickens with is depictions of Les Tricoteuses, the women who sat by the guillotine during the French Revolution, who laughed  and knitted as the aristocracy had their heads removed. In modern times, barely a month goes by when there isn't a story about how executions in America are not going to plan or drug companies are refusing to provide the cocktail of chemicals that will render a person dead in a few minutes.

In more recent times, I can place myself down Rundle Mall on the day that Barlow and Chambers were sent to the scaffold in Malaysia - a picture the following day on the front of paper showed the sheet covered body of one of them with a foot poking out at the back of the van. The picture had a macabre finality about it.

The last Australian to be executed by a foreign nation, Van Nguyen, had a polarising effect in my circle of friends. One person was adamantly for the execution, their view was formed by the effect narcotics had on a family member. Others were outraged that this young man, a pawn in a much larger system, was to pay with their life for an act of stupidity. As much as I abhor the death penalty, I fall somewhere in the middle when it comes to crimes performed in other jurisdictions - particularly drug crimes committed in Asia. If you are stupid enough to willingly commit these crimes, if you get caught, you pay the price.

What effects me most is the grim details we are provided about these executions. The preparation, the effects, the last meals, the last words, all described with ghoulish glee by the press.

Death is a difficult business at the best of times. For those who end up having a peaceful passing, surrounded by family in friends, ready to go, leaving the earth knowing their role on the planet is done, one can walk away, emotional, hurting, but gladdened that their passing was calm.

My heart goes out to the two men who will not be members of the human race in the near future. I feel greatly for their friends and family. I'm upset that these men who have proven themselves rehabilitated will be annihilated by a number of bullets somewhere in a remote part of Indonesia, with very little comfort available to them. I'm particularly angry that the Australian Federal Police didn't do their job and collect these people in Australian Customs, where they would have been spared this notoriety.

Mostly, however, I'm upset that states feel the requirement to murder. Capital Punishment has never been and never will be a deterrent. All it manages to do is disquiet the psyches of the world - not something that the world needs at the moment.

I just wish the waiting was over for all concerned.

Sunday, February 1, 2015

The Nosy Meme

Waiting for a plane once again - a good time to do Sunday Stealing's weekly meme.  Not too bad questions this week - at least it's not about Superbowl - which I was half expecting and have no idea about.

So here we go:

Average hours of sleep?

According to my fit bit, six. I can function on five, six and a half if better, but six is what I go by.

The last think I googled?

The facts around the 20 July plot to kill Hitler - saw the movie Valkyrie was on and I wanted to know more. That Tom Cruise ends up being shot is seen as a positive (just like Russell Crow jumping off the bridge in Les Miserables)

One place that makes me happy?

Pretty much any cathedral in England. Love old stuff. Must go back soon.

How many blankets do I sleep under?

Currently I'm under a middle weight duvet (doona/quilt) but it gets thrown off a lot or is replaced with a sheet on hot nights.

What am I wearing right now?

Black dresss, black three quarter leggings, thongs (flip/flops or jandles if you must) standard issue cotton underwear, movement tracker and a watch.

Last book I read?

Just finished Graeme Simsion's "The Rosie Effect" - nowhere near as good as it's predecessor, "The Rosie Project".

Favorite fictional character?

Oh, do I have to choose? Here are a few favourites:

Antonio Corelli from "Captain Corelli's Mandolin
Cal from "Middlesex"
Lucien Blake from "The Dr Blake Mysteries"

 Last movie I watched in the cinema?

I saw an Australian kids film last weekend. "Paper Planes". It was charming.

Dream vacation?

Wandering around Paris, five star accommodation, with the love of my life.

 Dream wedding?

I've never really thought about getting married (never met anybody who's asked me) but I think a small wedding, outside, on a lovely autumn day, pretty casual, great food, after a stop at the registry office. How's that?

Dream pet?

I've always wanted a cat, and I'm sure I'll have a cat of my own one day. but there is a big part of me that would love a Bernese Mountain Dog puppy. They're great.

Dream job?

Writer - who makes a lot of money from her writing.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? 


Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Definitely never trying/ There is no shame in failing if you've tried your best.

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

I think as you get older you stop trying to please everybody and start living for yourself. I try to limit the things I don't like doing. Most of the time, we end up doing things we don't like doing because money or family are involved. There is an art to saying no.