The Dev Chronicles: Part Deux

I am not going to talk about my new cat. I am not. So I just got my first cuddle and pat, after six hour of him relocating. I think this is promising. But for the moment, I'll record what I am writing on Dev's second webinar to get me writing. So I won't write about my new cat, who is currently alternating between sitting under the couch and coming up for smooches. He's like a mini panther.

Anyway, lets see what Dev has to say and write along with her. Cos you really don't want to hear about my cat.

I am sitting at my work desk - my desk. My table. Pulling my finger out and getting on with it. Let's eat the ugly frog.

So the first exercise. Who do I love?

Oh shit.

I love my friends and family. I do love my friends and family - they are incredibly important to me.

I also love him in England and him in Sydney but we don't talk about that. Different loves.

What do I do?

Erm. Well, by weekday - I'm a technical writer at an energy company. This means I pen work instructions for computer systems.  Joy.

By evening I am a journeyman novelist and feature writer.

What am I looking forward to?

I'm looking forward for life to return to some form of normality. It's only been a week but I am sick of the bloody flat already. But I have my new cat to enjoy.

I'm looking forward to being about to travel again, to go to the theatre and cinema in safety and I'm looking forward to a bit of certainty in life.

Second exercise: Six Prompts. Write like nobody is going to read it... okay it's going on my blog - and I LOVE THIS EXERCISE! Write for me. Don't write for anybody else.

 Use the prompts. The prompts are in bold. Keep writing . The aim is to keep going.


Imagine if there wasn't a reaction to this Coronavirus jobbie. If we were all going on in our lives like we were a month ago, not washing our hands all that thoroughly, going to restaurants and cafes, planning what to do in the footy fixture, going to work on packed public transport and generally being oblivious to everything.

I hate to think what the mortality rate would be.

You can't see around the corner, and what a pity it would have been if we could have seen around that bend? What would we have done differently if we knew what we knew now? I'm not sure I'd have done anything differently. I still get on public transport, but now it is empty and I'm only doing it once a week. I may start wearing food prep gloves when I get on a tram. I've not gone the mask route. I don't want to. People either look like ducks or dickheads. If it makes them feel safer then all well and good.

What had been forgotten, in we humans, is the desire for change is something most of us hate. we don't like change. We can do some change. Like the change that comes with the Death Card in the tarot deck - that slow change that takes forever. Noooo, we've been taken over by The Tower. The change that sweeps you off your feet, blindsides you and leaves you winded like you've been headbutted by a bull.

It was brilliant. Mother Nature, God, Cthulhu, which ever deity to which you subscribe has knocked the planet for six. And good on it. Who knew Mother Nature could be such a cunt.

Thing is, it's probably overdue. We've needed this reminder that we're fragile, that we're not the big tough bullies we think we are.

It took a few weeks , but eventually, most of us - and I say most of us, have come around to the fact that we really are amoeba, stuck in our respective houses for the foreseeable future until we get the all clear - and shite knows when that is going to happen. There are still people crowding Bondi Beach, sending their kids to Corona virus parties (akin to the old Chicken Pox parties) and generally being fuckwits. Listen to the fucking science people!  I think people are starting to catch on.

To be honest, I think this is Mother Nature's way of telling us to get fucked, pull our heads in, start looking after the place and to behave ourselves. It's like we, the human race, are a mob of recalcitrant teenagers, all sulky and sullen. We've had our stash taken away and we've been told to clean our rooms.

Only time will tell what will happen. I just know I'm very discombobulated, but I am trying to be both stoic and positive. Good change can come from this. It has to. I don't want the Coronavirus to sweep through the likes of Victor Harbor - though I can see a few people loving the trust funds now they have lost their jobs - mind your Ma and Pa are probably reverse mortgaged up to the hilt.

Time will tell. Maybe after this we might be nicer to the planet and to ourselves.

Fin.

Books on writing. Hmm. I like Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert.

Element of drafts. Like it.

Last exercise. If you had six months to live, what would you do and what is stopping you from doing it now?

Easy - what is stopping me from doing anything at the moment? I'm in virtual lock down and I am now mother to a black cat named Lucifer.

But what would I do? I would travel the world. Meet people. Try every gin I could get my hands on. Make love. Read books. See films - maybe even see The Godfather at last. I would tell my friends and family that I love them.

And I would take Lucifer around to Blarney's place just before I go, as it will be written in my will that Blarney and Barney can get my cat - I'm getting Maow Maow if something happens to them.

Done

Today's Song:

Biting the Bullet

After a quiet day at work here in the lounge room. I did  a bit of shopping once I'd logged off at 5 pm.

I bought a cat igloo, a little tray and a cat carrier.

I'm biting the bullet and I hope to get a cat tomorrow.

I've called the shelter, which is out in the Yarra Valley. He seems like a sweet boy - in need of a Mum. He was handed in after his Dad had a change in circumstances. He allegedly likes other male cats, but he'd be better off in a home with some quiet people.

See! How could I not want to take him home?



Only think is he's currently called Reggie. Reg was my grandfather's name. So if he comes home with me I think I'll have to change his name.

I think Lucifer Morningstar is great name for a black cat.

I've always wanted a black cat. And I can see him being a Lucifer. I just want to be able to say, "Lucifer!" and roll my eyes like this:

Anyway, we'll see what goes down tomorrow afternoon. I'm driving out to the Yarra Valley to meet this beastie.

I hope we like each other.


Today's Song:

#fuckcoronavirus #fuckcovid19

Today, I got the gutting news that my glorious neighbours of 14 years, Lea and Marc, have both been let go from their jobs and they will have to leave their home and move in with their family in the burbs. My heart is a little broken. I've lived above them for over a decade and they are great people. We feed each other's cats. We have each other's keys. They, like me, are quiet, friendly and responsible.

Scrap that - I'm going to start a new hashtag or two. #fuckcoronavirus. #fuckcovid19

I think I need to get this out of me. But I'll also try an look at the good.

But now, I need a bit of a whinge. Get it all out then go back to my normal, semi-optimistic, brightside-looking self.

I know what a lucky, privileged situation I find myself in - employed for at least a year in an essential service company, solvent, able to work from home, under 70, not overseas... the list is long and I am very, very grateful.

But some things just suck.

So let's get this all out of me. Here's my gripe list.

Okay, so I can't travel to Sydney for the foreseeable future. There goes my very limited lovelife and my sanity breaks as I like to call them. #fuckcoronavirus #fuckcovid19

The gym won't be open for much longer. Everybody knows this. The gym keeps me sane. I have to find a way to exercise inside if we go into lockdown or I will go spare. At least for the moment I can go for a walk.  #fuckcoronavirus #fuckcovid19

The reports about people stockpiling food and other goods then selling them on for profits shit me to tears.  #fuckcoronavirus #fuckcovid19

School has been cancelled for the next few weeks. It will happen but I wanted to do it NOW.  #fuckcoronavirus #fuckcovid19

Working from home is isolating. Very isolating. But we are monitoring this situation and keeping a handle on it.  #fuckcoronavirus #fuckcovid19

I went out for a dinner last night with some friends. A last gasp attempt at normality. We sat outside. We couldn't share stuff. Worst of all, there were no hugs. I like hugging my friends. No hugging. We tapped feet at the end of the night breaking the 1.5 metre ruling. It's not the same tapping feed. I wanted a Thom hug (Thom gives the best hugs).  #fuckcoronavirus #fuckcovid19

If I go into the office, there is no eating in the kitchen, no sharing food, not birthday cakes, no bake offs, no lolly jars. All the fun stuff has been taken away.  #fuckcoronavirus #fuckcovid19

Everybody is a bit jittery and grumpy.  #fuckcoronavirus #fuckcovid19

If you cough or sneeze, people look at you as if you're about to give them Bubonic Plague and they scowl at you.  #fuckcoronavirus #fuckcovid19

Book group got cancelled. We're looking into virtual options.   #fuckcoronavirus #fuckcovid19

I will have to break in new neighbours.  #fuckcoronavirus #fuckcovid19

How do you go to the hairdresser and maintain a social distance?  #fuckcoronavirus #fuckcovid19

Okay, whine over. I look at this list:

• Sydney trips will happen again
• The gym will reopen
• School will be great once we get the format running online
• Working from home means I get reading breaks on the couch at lunch, and we are all careful to check in with each other - I've only been there a month, but the people are lovely. 
• I will be able to hug my friends again
• I'm better off without the bakery culture at work anyway
• I can watch what I eat better at home
• People will pick up
• Maybe capitalism can seriously go get fucked now
• Along with the patriarchy
• People will stop coughing
• The empty trams, when you go on one, are quite refreshing
• People are helping each other out
• The new neighbours might be lovely
• Lea and Marc will find employment again
• Book Group will reconvene - and we will check in on each other
• As she works in a very small salon, I might be able to risk the hairdresser without setting off my social conscience
• And the earth might heal a bit while we're all on lockdown.

But still.

 #fuckcoronavirus #fuckcovid19

Now, no more whining. Back to my normal self now. 

Today's song: (Because I need a sweary song)

The Coronavirus Questions

I normally do a Q&A on Sunday - I've done it for years, but today - I'm going to set the questions - and answer them. Why not? It's all anybody is talking about at the moment.

I might send them over to Bev at Sunday Stealing - I'd love to hear what the Americans are doing about this at the moment.

So here they are - the Coronavirus questions:

1. Has the COVID-19 affected your work environment?

Hells yeah. I am somebody who likes going into the office - I'm now predominantly working from home. It's isolating. I'm thinking of getting a cat to counteract the feeling of isolation. Seeing this could be the case for months I think I will be getting on with this cat hunt on the weekend.

2. How are you feeling about the Coronavirus?

I like to think I'm being alert, but not alarmed. For the most part, I'm getting on with things, trying to read up about stuff on offical websites, but also not getting overwhelmed by the whole thing. I'm lucky my family is interstate so I can't infect them if I end up with it. I've been trying to be very as careful as I can be.

3. Has anybody you know been tested / has it?

Yes. My sister went to the doctor with a sinus infection. Though she doesn't meet Victorian testing criteria, her doctor tested her for it. Possibly after mentioning we have a 79-year-old mum who comes down to iron for my sister. Mum is not allowed near the house until she's got her results and /or gone through quarantine.

4. Do you have any friends stuck in any exotic locations?

I have one friend walking the Camino in Spain. Allegedly she's having a great time. I've also got a friend stuck in Argentina - she's hoping to get out on Friday, then it's a fortnight's quarantine in New Zealand, followed by another fortnight quarantine when she gets back to Australia. Fun....

5. Have you changed any of your personal habits due to the pandemic?

Hugging and hand washing. I have a tendency to hug my friends. We to tap now. And I've always washed my hands, but never before to two round of "Aga Doo" or "Mr Brightside".

6. What is the craziest thing you've seen or heard about the outbreak?

I've heard some churches saying that people's faiths will keep them safe from the virus.... Ummm no. I've also heard some stuff about 'herd immunity'. Not sure a virus without a vaccine can do this.

I'd still like the anti-vaxxers amongst us to agree to go over to Italy at the moment and see how they go.

7. Do you think our politicians are doing enough to curb the crisis?

Ah, no, but I'm not horrified with Australia's response. I think they're trying, and there have been a few things that could have been done earlier. I'm just glad I'm not in America - but saying that, Trump has been coming out as sort of Presidential in the last day or so.

8. Have you stockpiled anything because of the crisis?

I've not hoarded anything, but I've got a little bit more in, which I've gradually collected over the last few weeks - pasta, eggs, an extra loaf of bread - but I've certainly not gone overboard. I bought a six pack of loo paper in Sydney when I was up there, three of the rolls were donate to Blarney when I got back to Melbourne. There are four of them in the household and they're running low.

9. What do you think you will miss the most if you are subject to a lock in?

Fresh air, exercise, going out, movies, theatre, friends, hugs. Then again, the reading and writing I could get done....

10. What is the weirdest rumour you've heard about the virus?

Everything from it started in a wet market in Wuhan to the virus came from a Chinese biological weapons factory. There is a lot of strange stuff out there.

11. Do you have a favourite meme about the virus?

There are some good ones out there, but this tickled my fancy.




This one is good too:



12. Has the virus made you grateful for anything?

I'm grateful for lots of things:

• Having a full time, well paying job in an essential service (Utilities company)
• My friends
• My sense of humour
• For the sense to not stockpile in great amounts of food
• That I can work from home
• That I'm not in a high risk group
• That the gym is still open (just)

13. Have any of your plans been upset by the outbreak?

Hells yeah. Other than killing my love life dead for the foreseeable future so far things that have been cancelled:

• Book group
• School (though we're hoping to get this back and online soon)
• Theatre
• The Pixies Concert
• The Alanis Morrissette Concert
• Football where you can go to a game
• Meditation may be done online from next week.

And I'm sure there's more things, but all of these things have left me a bit gutted. 

14. Are you planning do to anything different because of the COVID-19 outbreak after it is over?

I don't know yet. I do know that being in semi-lockdown its a good chance to get the diet on track. I think I will be going outside more once things become safer.

15. What do you hope to see in six months time?

A happier world with as few deaths as possible and a health system which is not struggling.

16. Has the Coronavirus affected your mental health?

In a small way. I'm monitoring myself closely, reaching out to friends and making sure I don't feel too isolated. I'm two days in working from home and I'm already feeling a bit nuts. Hence the procuring of the cat. It's being monitored closely.

17. Do you have a song with which you wash your hands to for the required 30 seconds?

I mix them up a bit. Songs I sing while washing my hands include:

• Aga Doo by Black Lace
• Mr Brightside by The Killers
• Sympathy for the Devil by the Rolling Stones
• Emotional Rescue by the Rolling Stones
• Rubber Duckie by Ernie

Today's Song: (And don't forget to wash your hands)

It's a great time to be writing dystopia

I'm sitting here listening to the wonderful Catherine Deveny, who is doing a series of writing podcasts at the moment. She's giving me the shot of Vitamin Dev, or the Dev Enema - but it's a kick up the arse that you need to get you writing.

So for today's blog, I'm putting up my exercises from the 30 minutes online webinar.

Her first exercise. Write like your family is dead. Write like nobody will read it. Write like it will self-destruct at the end of it.

Well five minutes of writing. My topic for this  - It's a great time to be writing dystopia.

Because dystopia is here and it's real. We are in no man's land at the moment - in that space between the known and the unknown. A place where we have no idea what is going to happen next, other than it is fucking scary and really, you can't see the next steps.

Mind you, when you're writing a dystopian novel there is sooooooo much fodder that you can use. So many things which can be drawn upon that can be put in that novel. We are there. HG Wells and Ursula Le Guin and Ray Bradbury could never have predicted this.

Maybe Philip K Dick. Just as androids dream of electric sheep, we, here on the planet, dream of open spaces, full cafes and the knowledge that whatever you touch may have the effect of killing your granny in a few weeks time. It's freaking scary.

But some of the best ideas when you are writing come out from when you're frightened. Just watching your reactions can bring so many ideas to light.

And here I was thinking that in my novel I'd have to put out the timelines 20-30 years - nope, I give it five. I'm in the process of re-shaping what I've written over the last two years. Fun.

New exercise coming soon.

Make a brick not a bridge. (Dev Nugget of the day)

Okay, write for ten minutes. Here we go.

So what am I gleaning about writing dystopia in dystopian times.

Well today's idea comes from the fact that we've all gone bloody bonkers about this cretinous virus and we can't see the other end of things - and we can't, which is dreadful.

But think about what happens in a year. They reckon that we're going to lose between 50-150,000 people from this virus. They reckon once you get it, you're not going to be able to get it again. So there is that. But I'm going to start calling these imminent losses, 'The Cull", because maybe, just maybe, that's what Mother Nature or the Chinese (depends on which conspiracy theory you are peddling) are doing. What happens when you come out of this. The thought I had today is that my main character will be marked by her immunity in some way. Part of living in this new world is that you have to carry around your immunity status - probably by an implanted chip somewhere in the soft tissue of your left hand. Mind you, in Nullius, my dystopian state Australia, the Point One - the corporations which run the show, (as they have taken over the Government), are making it very easy for them to procure information on you.

This chip is implanted with all sorts of things - but one of these things is immunity to Coronavirus. It may well, in the future, be a bit of a badge of honour - having immunity to this will, in the future, be like having immunity to chicken pox, whooping cough or rubella. And just like today - no jab/acquired immunity, no play / work / reason to be a part of the functional society.

I'm not sure if anybody knows what it is like to be in the presence of somebody with shingles, only to realise you've never had chicken pox, you've been massaging them and there is a good chance you are going to end up in hospital for a week, being sedated, because adult chicken pox is only superseded by festering, infected piles in my list of things I don't want to get. (My sister was nearly hospitalised when she got chicken pox as an adult - mum never sent us to chicken pox parties when we were kids)

I think the most insidious thing about this virus is that we are all afraid of what we can't see - though we are very aware that it is there. It's like the invisible bogey man - only this pseudo-night-terror is may well kill your granny or your mate with the auto-immune disease, or the mate who's just out of chemo. I don't want to get this virus - I am not in the risk group - but I sure as hell don't want to give it to anybody.

-ooOoo-

Well, I'm at the end of Dev's writing lesson. I highly recommend any budding writer of any ability check these out. She's great at giving your both confidence and a kick up the bum.

I can now go to bed happy, knowing that I am housebound again tomorrow and playing with powerpoint  (though I will go out of a walk early morning. If we go into total lockdown I'm going to really watch my mental health).

Today's Song:

And so it begins

I've just finished setting up my home office. It's something I've resisted doing for years and it's taken a global pandemic and  the glories of having to work from home for the foreseeable future to get me to do this - but it's here now.

I've a 24 inch screen. Good for what I do. It'll be good for writing too. At least I'm not at the mercy of the laptop screen which kills your will along with stiffening your neck and back. I need to move stuff around in the screens - take snapshots, place images. At work, in the office, I have two monitors - but I'm good with the one.

There are two laptops on the desk. My work one will sit on top of my home one. Thankfully the work laptop is light and a lot smaller than the other.

There's also a headset, which provides audio for meetings. It's a bulky contraption, but necessary.

I've left the work peripherals at work - using my mouse and keyboard. I like my keyboard here better.

But this, here, for the foreseeable future, is my place of work.

The great thing is, fore tea breaks, I get to go have a lie down and read my book.

Thank goodness for small mercies.


Today's Song:

The Sleepy Rambles Meme

Well, I'm in Sydney and it is a ghost town. Alice and I were supposed to go to the Pixies concert last night. That was cancelled. Today we met for breakfast and then took ourselves off to the Sydney Biennale at the Museum of Contemporary Art. Today was the second day of the show. It was next to empty in the galleries - which in many ways is a great thing, but then again.... We still have some ability to get around here - we're not in full lock down, but the streets are quiet. I hate to say it, but I'm enjoying it. I'm not panicking- but I also know that this is just the start of things.

Questions, as always, come from Bev at Sunday Stealing.

1. What is the wallpaper on your computer screen? Why did you choose it?

On my main computer I have a runner on a beach scene. I never chose it, it's just there. 

2. Who is the person you text the most in your life? What relation are you?

That's a toss up between Blarney, and Cleo and Jay, organising training sessions. 

3.Is there carpet or hardwood floor in your bedroom?

Unfortunately it's carpet. It needs replacing. All the carpet in my flat needs replacing.

4. Do you believe in superstitious things such as breaking a mirror?

I'm minorly superstitious. I touch wood a lot. There are a few other things I do - like not giving knives as gives, when giving a handbag, putting some money in it - but these things don't rule my life.

5. Do you like those ‘end of the world,’ ‘Armageddon’ movies?

Not really - as they are normally blockbusters. But saying that Melancholia was excellent.

6. Chocolate or strawberry birthday cake? Choose one.

Ah, neither. Can I please have a vanilla or flourless lemon cake. Much better. If I have to choose, then strawberry at a push, but there are other flavours I prefer.

7. Do you eat more vegetables or fruits? What’s your favorite fruit/veggie?

I eat a lot of vegetables and very little fruit. I love sweet potatoes and pumpkin. For fruits lychees and most berries.

8. Does the dentist calm you or does it tend to stress you out?

I'm fine with the dentist. I see him every six months. He never does much to me thank goodness. 

9. If you had to choose, which is the worst movie you’ve ever seen?

Sin City. I walked out after half an hour. The Other Boleyn Girl wasn't great either. Walked out of that too. 

10. Have you ever found yourself talking to an inanimate object?

All the time. I talk to my computer screen at work a lot too. 

11. Do you like movies that are originally based on children’s books?

Sometimes. Sometimes not. Depends on the film. 

12. Is your hair more thick or thin? Is it more curly or straight?

My hair is long and increasingly curlier than it has been for most of my life. I quite like it at the moment. 

13. Something on the human body that grosses you out the most:

Arseholes. Both figuratively and literally. I've done too much bodywork to be grossed out by the human body. 

14. What is your favorite color of apple? Red, green or yellow?

I love a good Granny Smith apple (Green ones)

15. Do you hardly ever remember where you put things at?

The only thing I have regular trouble finding is my house keys. 

16. Do you ever lay in the grass and look up at the sky, just because?

I wish I could do this more. 

17. Are you a controversial person? Do your views oppose others?

I can be controversial. I tend to pick my battles. My novel, if it ever gets published, will be VERY controversial - so I'm keeping my controversy tickets in check at the moment. 

18. Have you ever thrown a surprise party for someone? Who for?

No surprise parties. Not my thing. I don't like surprises that much myself. 

19. What would you say your average word per minute time is on the keyboard?

I think I type around 50-60 words a minute. Years of practice. 

20. Do you like fiction or non-fiction books more? What’s your favorite?

I read a hell of a lot of fiction, though great non-fiction can be wonderful. I'm a literary reader. I make no apologies for this. 

21. Do you know how to play pool? Are you any good at it?

Yes I can play pool - and I'm quite good at it. Being ambidextrous makes it even more fun and I can shoot from both sides. 

22. The most painful medical procedure you’ve ever had?

A wisdom tooth that had to come out in the chair - that was awful. A test for Whooping Cough was awful too - thought he was trying to scoop out my brains. 

23. Are you someone who tends to take a whole lot of naps?

No - I nap very rarely - only when I'm ill will I nap.

24. Have you ever been pulled over by the cops for speeding?

Nope. Only ever had one red light camera ticket in my life.

25. Is anyone in your family a firefighter?

No. We're all doctors, police, nurses and shopkeepers. Very sedate. Ooops, sorry, I have a cousin who works for the Country Fire Association. So yes, I do.

Today's Song: