School Report

I'm sitting here with a large Negroni in front of me. There's a bit too much Hendricks in this one, but the muted nature of Hendricks means the Campari and Vermouth aren't overtaken. The ice clinks against the side of the glass, the condensation heavy against the rim, it's medicinal nature is comforting. The Hendricks gives a softer edge to the drink. I've been using Four Pillars Regular (though I really want to go up to Healesville and get a bottle of their Spiced Negroni Gin, because it is AWESOME - and I'd love to try it in an actual Negroni).

It's 9.16 in the evening. Not the morning. I'm not a day drinker - well not unless I'm out at lunch with friends.

The Negroni is a mandatory Tuesday night companion. I've just got off school. I need a Negroni to calm myself.

And it's not that school is bad. Far from it. School is wonderful.

School has fried my brain, assaulted the senses, made me think, made me feel, made me look at things completely differently and generally blown my mind.

We're being taught by two successful and accaimed novelists.

I'm in a class with eight other amazing writers, who are all great people. Fun, funny, interesting people with great ideas. People who challenge you, encourage you and have your back.

And I thank the universe for allowing me to get onto this course. I am learning so much. I'm hoping it will help me be a better writer.

But after a day at work, at the same desk where I work all day, an hour's break to get some dinner,  then another two hour of class - I'm buggered.

Class makes me think I might have something to say. It's like I want to yell my story to the world, while altering my perspectives all withing a half an hour lecture.

This is learning online at its best (though I'd still rather be sitting in the offices of Allen and Unwin in East Melbourne - I used to skip to school on Tuesday night.

But now, it is time to relax, and the medicinal Negroni is a required, along with the square of Whittakers Dark Chocolate with Ginger and Mandarin (YUM - but one square does the trick).

I am so lucky.

Bottoms up!


Today's Song

Check in / Book Review

First up - How I did with my weekend list:

1) A substantial amount of novel writing - 2000 words written. It's okay, got something done.

2) Attack the ironing pile - Complete

3) The floors - half done. Hoovered, but didn't feel like mopping.

4) Finish my book - It got finished this morning before work.

5) Complete April's Furious Fiction - I got something in for this. I wasn't great. I'll be writing more of it an putting it in the novel

6) Go for some walks - Two walks done - one lap of the Tan (in the rain) and a lap of the Yarra from Anderson Street to Princes Bridge and back. It was just so good to be outside.

7) Find the other half of the couch. Not done. Didn't get to it.

However, it's still not too bad an effort.

On the really good side of things, I got an honorable mention on the daily Writer's Victoria Flash Fiction competition for this gem:

#WVFlashFic20 @Writers_Vic#Hocus-Pocus

‘Three days!’ Eunice growled at the computer, waiting as her grandson worked his hocus-pocus on the mysterious box. It was easy, he said.
‘You need to turn it on, Gran.”

— TrellawneyThom (@TrellawneyThom) April 5, 2020

I love writing these 30 word stories on a daily theme. There is a bit of kudos when you get called out. 

Now, for a quick book review as I want to go to bed now.

American Dirt by Jeanine Cummings. 

I haven't been conflicted like this about a book for a long time. 

The premise is fairly simple. Lydia runs a book shop in Acapulco. She is a law abiding citizen. She loves her son, Luca, and her husband. But Lydia's life changes when her husband falls foul of the local cartel and the whole of her family is gunned down.

From here, Lydia will do anything to keep her son and herself safe. Literally anything. The bulk of the book shows Lydia and Luca, on the run from the cartel attempting to get across the border to the United States. 

I have to clarify something. This book is a work of fiction - and needs to be read as such. It's very good popular fiction. The book gathers pace from the first page and you want to know what happens to the characters as fortune, for the most part deserts them. There's a cast of characters you begin to love too - and some you really hate. Everything is explained and all the loose ends a are tied up. It's eminiently readable.

So why am I conflicted? Well, it's a book about the migrant experience in middle/central America. For as much as we all know Mexico is a dire place to be a journalist - more journalists are killed per capita than any other country in the world.

We are all aware that the cartels can be very scary things. Anybody who'd watched Breaking Bad knows about this. 

The controversy lies in the fact that this was written by a Caucasian Woman, but it goes into intimate details about the migrant experience. And I get this. Some have called the book racist. I wouldn't go that far, but I do get where they are coming from. She had done her reseach. She's done an extraordinary amount of research. In the acknowledgements she spoke of wanting to write about the migrant condition - which has changed a lot in the last three years with Trump and his cronies. 

Some have called this The Grapes of Wrath of our time. I wouldn't go that far. 

But for me, when reading it, as long a I remembered this was a work of fiction, I was fine. Things  that happen in the book do happen in real life. I'm just not sure a white, educated woman is the best person to write about this. (And Latinos are VERY proud people - which is where a lot of the noise has come from)

This is a great read. It's not perfect, but it's highly entertaining. 

I just had to keep my reservations at bay and keep telling myself it's fiction. 

Today's song:

The Gratitude Questions

The day has only just begun. I'm about to go get a walk in before a heavy day of writing takes place. The joy of these semi-lockdown conditions - you really do appreciate the little things.

Questions, as always, from Bev at Sunday Stealing.

1. Name a highlight of your day

I've only been up properly for about half an hour. So far the highlight of my day has been having a cuddle with Lucifer and the two hot cross buns I have just eaten for breakfast. Now that it's Palm Sunday, I can start having hot cross buns more regularly. I hope Baker's Delight brings back the Mocha ones - they are like crack.

2. What made you smile today?

Lucifer, my second-hnd cat, trying to get under the covers with me this morning was very cute. After two weeks, we're ticking on quite nicely. He's staying.

3. What made you laugh today?

I've only been up an hour, I haven't had a laugh yet.

4. Recall a time when you needed encouragement.

When I started running - oh boy did I need encouragement. Thankfully my friend Reindert helped me to break through the psychological barriers that come with running. Once you break the twenty minute barrier, you're on your way. Running, as I have found, is all in the mind.

5. What is a luxury you are thankful for

Lots of them. Great moisturiser. Hot cross buns. NARS lipstick. Theatre subscriptions. The second hand panther.

6. Favorite childhood memory

I don't have many of these, but I did like hanging out with the calves after we had fed them as kids. Poddy calves are very cuddly.

7. Favorite song–and why?

Reckless by Australian Crawl. It's been my favourite song for 35 years. All the big events in my life have been peppered with this song. It's very Australian and just lovely.

8. Where is your favorite place?  Why?

Do I have to pick just one? Okay, that would be the tomb of Edward the Confessor in Westminster Abbey. It's a very spiritual place in the centre of a very busy city. It is just wonderful.

9. What is your favorite scent

This is a bit strange, but it's the smell of dogs's paws early in the morning. It's an earthy, musky smell - and I find it very comforting.

10. What is your favorite topic to talk about?

Books and writing. Followed by film. Followed by politics. Next.

11. What do you like doing so much that you lose track of time?

Reading. I get lost in books far too easily.

12. If you had 5 minutes and the whole world was forced to listen, what would you say?

Listen to nature and be kind to each other. It's as simple as that. We have to start being really good to the earth and really good to each other.

13. Whose life do you envy the most, and why?

I don't really envy anybody's life at the moment. We're all in the same boat at the moment.

14. What would you different with your education if you got a chance to start over?

There are a couple of things. Given my time over, I'd repeat Year 12 at a better school and maybe hopt to get into Law. I'd also have done my Masters earlier (but then I wouldn't have made the great mates I've made - or just made different great mates.)

15. What would you do with your life if you had no fear?

I'd probably be married if I had no fear. Being somewhat scared of committment I wonder what life would be like if this was not the case. Generally I'm known as being pretty fearless.

Today's song:

Ten Albums

I'm not going to tell you about the awesome walk I went on this afternoon. A lap of the Tan in the cold rain. The Tan track was nearly empty. It was brilliant.

Instead, I'm going to reflect on some albums which have formed me, made me, and sit very deeply in my soul. As somebody who has eclectic music tastes and a tendency to listen to compliations and play lists, it was fun to look at the albums I love and some memories attached to the said albums.

I pity the milennials who don't know the joys of waiting for the cover art, or having to turn over a record / cassette or CD before going on. Or knowing that your favourite song is three songs in on the second side. Ah, they were the days.

Anyway, in no real order, some of my favourite albums.

Stoneage Romeos - Hoodoo Gurus (1984)



1984. Year Eleven. The school camp to Mount Hotham which put me off INXS for life because they played the The Swing album end to end over that week. I've never been able to stomach INXS since. But about the same time, Dolly Magazine had a guy called Stuart Coupe do their music reviews. He used to rave about this album. Okay, he manaaged the band - but they're awesome. The Hoodoo Gurus are one of the best things to come out of Aussie Rock in the 80s. This album is all about the dance, and the fun and the humour. Songs like, I was a Kamikaze Pilot, Leilani and I Want You Back. Guitars and drums. I tried to introduce the Hoodoo Gurus to friends in London. They thought I was mad. I still think they're wonderful.

Surfer Rosa / Come on Pilgrim - The Pixies (1988)


The Pixies are God! But this was not the first album I bought of theirs. I got Doolittle first - which is their next best album, but there is something just wonderful about the howls, the screaming guitars and the Loud/Soft/Loud of Surfer Rosa.

Having seen them three times in concert, they never disappoint. Surfer Rosa is my rainy day album. I like to dance around the kitchen cleaning up to this. It makes me happy. Where is my Mind?, Levitate Me and Nimrod's Son just get inside you. This is full of great memories over three decades - and still, people have to ask who they are.

Ten Summoner's Tales - Sting (1993)



London. My second year there. Two very inappropriate men, of very different natures (though strangely, both were Irish) were into this album. Both had favorite songs off the album. One loved, "It's Probably Me." The other loved "Fields of Gold." So many good songs on this.

For me, my theme song comes this album. "Shape of my Heart" is a glorious little ballad. Give it a listen. You'll understand. Good memories every time I play this, even if the memories aren't always sanctioned.

An Awesome Wave - Alt-J (2012)



I'd never heard of Alt-J when I found this album . It was a bit of a fluke. It was in November 2013.  I was in Wellington, New Zealand visiting a friend. My friend Geetangeli, who lives in Christchurch, told me to go to her favourite cafe in Wellington down Cuba Street. This album was playing in that cafe. It struck me then and there. I asked the barista about the album. It was bought and downloaded there and then. I adore the song Breezeblocks. Rarely does a month go past when this doesn't get played.

Stop Making Sense - Talking Heads (1984)



Another seminal album from 1984. Ask my step-sister what she remembers of me at high school, she will say it's listening to Talking Heads as we drove around Myponga. David Byrne is a showman. The songs are up there and out there. Their cover of Take Me to the River one of the best there is. Psycho Killer, Life during Wartime, Once in a Lifetime... it's all great stuff. The re-release has a couple of extra tracks. It's an album I can dance to, work to, relax to and just enjoy. It's New York and the 1980s at its very best.

Urban Hymns - The Verve (1997)



London, 1998. My 30th birthday. My cousin was over and staying with me. She was good at drinking all the milk during the night, only finding there wasn't enough to make a cup of tea with in the morning. It was great to bond with my cousin, but I don't think either of us can listen to  this album without remembering those carefree times, her job in a City bar and how offensively drunk we got on the eve of my 30th birthday (My cousin's birthday is the day before mine - her boss, who we were out with that night, was born the day after - it was a reason to really celebrate hard)

And it's still a lovely listen.

So - Peter Gabriel (1985)



Year 12. Required listening if you weren't into AC/DC, Chisel and INXS. Interesting and melodic. It's not an album to dance to - more to list to on winter evenings in front of the fire. I gave this a spin a few weeks ago. The remaster has an extra track which fits with the mood. It's a perfect ending. Very much an eighties soundtrack, but it still stands up to scrutiny. I miss Peter Gabriel.

Rum, Sodomy and the Lash - The Pogues (1985)



Another late find. Another bloke in London introduced me to this album. And it is awesome. This is my angry driving music. It's great for letting off a bit of steam, particularly down the Monash at 100 clicks late at night. There is a lot to ponder on this album. How is Shane McGowan still alive? How have they done the best version of "And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda" that is as good as the original. Why, when you meet up with certain friends, as you leave, you start singing, "I'm sad to say, I must be on my way...". Few know about this album. It's a well kept secret amongt Gen-Xers.

Nevermind - Nirvana (1991)



Surely this is THE album of the 90s. The Pixies influence, with the loud/soft/loud verse/chorus sequencing, Kurt Cobain's edgy vocals, the hard edge drums and the whole Grunge effect is just incredible. So many good songs on this - so many tunes ingrained in our psyches. I think you'd be had pressed to find a person in their late 40s /early 50s who doesn't have a copy of this floating around in a shoe box.

Back to Black - Amy Winehouse (2006)



Oh Amy, Amy, Amy. Why did you have to go join the 27 Club. Good Jewish girl from North London with the voice of a whisky soaked angel. Rehab defined a generation. The rest of the album is just sublime.

Some say she died too soon. To me, sometimes you reach near perfection, then what do you have to go on for. She was incredible. This is testment to this. Soul at its greatest.

Noted others that nearly made the list:

• Hello, I Must be Going - Phil Collins
• Bookends / Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon and Garfunkel
• The White Album - The Beatles
• Whatever People Say, That's What I'm Not - The Arctic Monkeys
• Transformer - Lou Reed
• The B'52s - The B'52s
• The Violent Femmes - The Violent Femmes
• Searching for Sugarman - Rodriguez
• Human Frailty - Hunters and Collectors
• Sidewalk - Icehouse
• Love Stuff - Elle King

Today's Song:

The New Weekend

I used to really look forward to the weekend. I know I will look forward to the weekends again. But for the moment, the weekend means more time at home, in the flat, with Lucifer. This is good. But there are some things which will just be missed while we self-isolate, remain at a distance, and generally stay on our own for the next few months. There is no gym. There are no cinemas and theatres. There's no getting together with friend for the foreseeable future. (I'm sick of writing those words - it sounds like such a long time.) 

So I need a plan for the weekend. What needs t get done by 9 am Monday morning when I fish out my work computer and start up the daily grind from my desk where  write from now.

So I need a plan. A lsit of what needs to get done. If I don't have a plan I'll lie on the bed with the cat and read all weekend, sipping on a necessary Negroni (Who knew I would finally own a bottle of Vermouth and a bottle of Campari to go with the gin. I thought these were something only my parents had in their collection of ancient grog). 

So here's my list.

1) A substantial amount of novel writing

Class is back on, even if I've lost a bit of impetus, bit it's time to get back to it. I've locked down a couple of hours of writing.

2) Attack the ironing pile

It's not too big - just needs to be done. 

3) The floors

As I now have a black furry house demon (Lucifer the cat) the hoovering and the mopping have to be done more often. Furry house demon sheds black hair everyhere. Lucky he's cute. 

4) Finish my book

I'm over 300 pages into American Dirt by Jeanine Cummings. It's a controversial book. I can see why - but it's a good yarn. I need to get my copy of Bruny by Heather Rose off of Blarney - but that may be next weekend as circumstances are a bit difficult at the moment. 

5) Complete April's Furious Fiction

500 words, 55 hour and a couple of parameters to write in the story. This month's criteria:

• Your story must begin on the side of a road.
• Your story must include the words APRON, PIGMENT, RIBBON, ICON, LEMON (plurals are okay).
• Your story must include a splash.

I can work with that.

6) Go for some walks

Jay and I are planning on going on a couple of walks. You can walk with one other as long as you kep our distance. It's going to be a wet weekend  - few will be out with any luck.  

7) Find the other half of the couch. 

It's buried under crap - time for that to change.

There we are, I think I have a plan. Will check in on Monday to see how I go.

There's half a chance I'll ahve watched a lot of movies and talked to the cat more than I should have. 

The Negroni has been drained. It's bed time. I have a plan.

Today's Song: 

Writing with Dev - Part Five

I had another day in front of the computer. On top of blogging, I'm trying to get at least half an hour of novel writing in a day, sometime it's  just good to get the blog done by writing along with another.

Fun fact: Gold FM plays Hotel California most days sometime during the days. And I'm getting old as I listen to Gold FM.

Dev's half hour classes are great for this.

So here we go. Lesson Five.

Five Minutes of Non-stop writing:

I played with the cat tonight. It's not something I've done since I've had him, but tonight, I got the stick with ribbons on it and played with the cat for about half an hour. He's not an all in type of cat, preferring to sit back and watch things happen, swatting at the ribbons, hanging on, then digging in a claw until I let go. He's not one to roll around on the floor with the ribbons - Maow Maow would do this. He's a little standoffish.

Then again, he's a small panther, there is a bit of dignity to this little beast. Even when he decides that he wants a cuddle in the middle of the day. He just climbs into my lap, then climbs up on my shoulder and stays for a few minutes. He's quite independent in that way. Likes his space - comes to you in his own time and on his own terms. But he still sleeps with me - which I love. He likes reading with me too.

I pay for him on Saturday. Finalise the adoption. He will finally be my cat.


Note: Writing helps the writer. the more you do, the better you get - ah, there is a reason I'm writing a blog post every day! Yay. Validation.

Genres: Write down Genres you love and hate - pick one of each, then write for ten minutes in each of these genres.

Love: Poem, Review, List, Sitcom, Prayer , Screenplay, Novel Speech, Drama, Fairy tale , children story, manual, Opinion, Limerick, Eulogy.


Hate: Erotica, Housekeeping, Code of Conduct, Group Email from a crazy person, Horror, Pitch, Memo ,

Write for ten minutes in each genre.

Erotica:

She doesn't know what he gets out of their sessions. She never really asked him. It just is. It's nothing overly sensual. It is what it is - their time together is unadulterated fucking. There is a rawness to their actions, yet a tenderness which she knows affects them both.

Their clothes come of first. There's not beating around the bush, it's a utilitarian action, easier for them to do the job themselves.  They aren't children, there are no bunnies that need to be skinned. They are not teenagers, rolling around in the back of a car with gay abandon. They are both middle aged. Clothes are clothes, bodies are bodies. In the early days they didn't see clothing as a hindrance - him taking lifting her skirt, removing her underpants - utilitarian cotton of course, bending her over the kitchen sink and taking her from behind. He barely took the time to see if she was ready. He was a bit of a barbarian in that respect. It was about him. It was about the cock. About his orgasm, not hers.

If she ever did come, he made note. She loved the self-satisfied grin that crossed his face as her cunt contracted around his hardened penis, as if it was sucking the life force out of him. 'I felt that,' he would tell her. She wasn't quite sure what he felt. She got more from clitoral stimulation. She'd tried to tell him over the years, but he never listened.

She would love him to to take her with his mouth - but this wasn't in his play book. When it came to sex, she was the adventurous one - he was more the base model, wanting the connection rather than the grasping gymnastics that her other lovers had provided.

It was the contact they both cherished - but neither would admit this to the other.


Poem:

Never

I never tell you I need you
Not that you want to hear it.
Not that I will ever say it,
For this is not the way things are,
And I think you don't want to know.

I've never told you I want you
For I doubt you would believe it
You don't think that I'm worthy
Or your worthy of these thoughts
It's just the way things are.

I never tell you I'm sorry
As apologies show weakness,
Well that is what you told me
When you came in late that night
Reeking of another woman and her charms

I've never thought to forgive you
For you actions or your comments
As you walked away that evening
Only to return in the morning
As if nothing ever happened, by they way.

And I'll never think I'll to tell you
Of my secret need for loving
For the fact I need so much more
But I cannot ask you for that.
And I know you'll ask me why.

And I've never thought of leaving
As in going I'd be lonely
I'd be miserable and frightened
And half of me would be missing
And I've nowhere else to go.

But I've never said I love you
I've never thought to tell you
As you've taken me for granted
For most of our couple time.

I've never said I love you
Because I doubt that I would mean it
And I know that I deserve better
And I doubt that you would care.


Today's Song:

Escape

I escaped for half an hour today. Just half an hour. It was necessary. It was needed. It had to be done in the name of sanity.And it was wonderful.

Who knew that running down the street to the supermarket could be so therapeutic?

Maybe because the day before I didn't make it out the front gate, I barely made it out the front door, only running down to the car to get something I'd forgotten.  Spending over eleven hours in front of the computer is far too much - on the good side of things, two hours were spent at school in the online classroom, another hour chatting with the girls from my book group. But still. Yesterday it was just me and the cat and my virtual world.

Maybe it was because this was a bit of a clandestine breakout which made it sweeter - a between meetings jaunt during work hours. Working from home you have a bit of leeway. Starting early, working later, taking breaks when you want. I snuck out just before 12. I drove down there. If I had a bit more time I would have walked, but just the act of getting in the car was enough to relieve some tension.

My shopping list was small, but necessary. Salad, veggies, hand wash if I could find it, Worcestershire Sauce (Basic staple when you have cheese on toast regularly - my old bottle ran out). But I needed fresh vegetables. This wasn't an arbitrary visit to the supermarket. The last time I was there was Saturday.

A visit to the cash machine so I could pay the personal trainer.

A visit to the washroom directly after to wash my hands - god knows who's been at the cash machine. God knows when the last time they were cleaned.

A quick chat with the Soap Guy. He's still there in the complex. Most of the other shops and half the food shop are closed.

A quick run around Coles. I didn't linger. People were keeping their distance. I watched with interest and the kid on the checkout wiped down the scanner. He was wearing gloves. I packed my own groceries - no issue there.

Bakers Delight beckoned. I found a bun. It's still not South Australian bakery culture, but a bun is never a bad thing.

A free coffee at my coffee shop - I had one on my coffee card.

Then home.

Out and back in forty minutes.

And for those forty minutes, things felt normal again.

(What was even better, I escaped again at the end of the day, walking back to the shopping centre, through the doors, and out to meet Cleo for a personal training session in the park. Somehow I managed 12500 steps today. It felt so good to be active for a change)

Today's Song: