Roy Kent, played wonderfully by Brett Goldstein, is AFC Richmond's aging captain in series on of this fantastic series.
At first, you don't know what to make of this gruff South Londoner. He doesn't say much. Actually, he tends to scowl and growl. And swear. A lot.
But the longer you know Roy Kent you find out he's a complete and utter softie underneath. He's a good bloke. He loves his niece, Phoebe. And he loves his team deep down.
And he's was a great footballer. He's nearing the end of his career, he finds something else to do. I like a man who can pivot.
And he has a song written about him. What football player has that?
I'm writing about work at the moment because it's become all-consuming. I'm using lots of generalities, because, as you may have noticed, when I write about work, I say no more than I work for a utilities company in the city and I'm a technical writer. And I don't mention colleagues by name or description. I don't go into details. It's just not done in blogland.
Regular readers will also be aware that my one up was sacked a few weeks ago and my life has been turned upside down because I now find myself leading a team.
It's a steep learning curve.
Other than leading a team, which is something I've never done officially, I also have to help my manager recruit people. And this is an interesting thing to do.
I've scanned CVs once before. This time around , I watched myself and the thought processes around this.
The document from HR is opened.
I'm looking for skills, not so much job titles.
There's the things they have done before - they may not be technical writers, but they might have a lot of documentation experience.
You look at where they've been before? Is there anybody you know who you can ask about them?
Then there's the education factor. What have they studied? What are their interests? Do they look like an interesting person along with being good at what they do?
Employment wise. Have they moved about? Do they only have a couple of jobs on their CV?
Then there are the intangibles. Like do they have PMS? (Pale Male Syndrome - it's a tone thing - but you can easily get the impression if somebody is a wanker) What impressions do they give? Are they welll rounded? Do they have any career breaks? Do they come across as somebody who will fit in the team?
And you have about five minutes to sum them all up and give an answer to the person in HR who can then go and vet them.
Of course, I used my own form of scanning. I searched for a few key words and systems and took note of where they worked. Did they have key system experience? What sort of projects have they worked on? Are they more technical or business focussed? For the person whose CV was a near mirror image of mine, touched base with some old colleagues and got the heads up.
A decision is then made.
Then the email goes back to HR asking if they can phone screen a couple of the candidates.
And I don't envy anybody doing this regularly. It's not that you can give everybody a job, but the weight of getting the right person in for the job weighs heavily on my head. Unfortunately, we can't get a clone of myself or my current colleague. One of our newbies is excellent and we'll make sure they get trained up quickly. I'm enjoying mentoring them. They said today they'd never felt so supported in a role.
But I'm reeling at this new task of scanning CVs. It doesn't sit well and I feel all judgy, and I have no idea how people do this more than once a decade.
Because I'm training people who've come into the team at the moment. Trying to teach people how to do my job, which means I don't shut up.
According to my sister, I can talk underwater with a mouthful of marbles, and maybe that is so, but when you're training, you get to talk about stuff you don't want to talk abut. And after about half an hour, your mouth goes dry. And it's no fun. When I train, I take everything in 25 minute blocks - and hand over to my colleague every now and then for good measure.
Then there's the meetings.
Today looks like this:
9.00-9.15: Team stand up
9.30 - 10.00: Upskilling the newbies
10.00-11.00: Review cycle with one of my streams and compliance.
11.15-11.45: Compliance team catch up
11.45-12.15: Commercial and Industrial Continuous improvement meeting.
12.00-1.00: Optional meeting held by my boss to induct the newbies into the team.
1.30-1.30: Quiet time / Lunch (Yes, I've cleared the calendar)
2.00-3.00: BAU Upskilling.
3.00-3.30: Weekly catch up with the boss
3.30-4.00: Optional meeting with one of the other streams.
I know a lot of people have calendars that look like this - but this is what the rest of the week looks like.
I just want the quiet back.
I'm an intorvert. I don't like people that much.
Besides, I'm not sure when I'll get any real work done...
We went on a 'picnic' because we could - and it was allowed. Mandated you could say.
We're both double vaccinated.
We were both within 15 kilometres from our front doors.
And my favourite Jewish deli was open for takeaway.
I've talked about my love of Cafe D'Lish on Bambra Road in Caulfield. And being about halfway between us, Jonella and I decided to have a picnic of sorts. We haven't seen each other face to face since July, though we talk or message most days.
And Cafe D'Lish was a great choice.
Firstly, Jonella has never been there, despite her heritage and me raving about this place since I first met her over ten years ago. Mind you, if you want good bagels and challah, Glicks is the place to go - and I have a sneaking suspicion this is where D'Lish source their baked goods. But still, it's a consistently great cafe and it has been for over a decade (even if the in-house service can be up and down, especially if you're in a rush).
Secondly, although we could have brought food with us, but grabbing a sandwich and a coffee from my one of my favourite places sounded like a good thing.
And thirdly, we're both over lockdown so getting out was needed.
How good is it to walk into a place and be greeted by the owner? I've known Izzy for over fifteen years, back when he had colour in his hair and he didn't have children. His first question was, "Where are the rest of you?", meaning where was the rest of the meditation class who I normally eat with when we go there.
I introduced him to Jonella, said we were getting a takeaway and we ordered lunch. It was great to see the place had steady trade going through the doors. We talked to the local dogs as we waited outside. Izzy said there's often a queue of Golden Retrievers out front from 7 am most mornings. I'd like to see that.
The place has such a great vibe.
Lunch came quickly. Gee they do a wicked Reuben. Good coffee too.
Pastrami and saurkraut, with pickles and horseradish on lightly toasted light rye. What more do you want?
We took our coffees and Reubens and found a bench in the neighbouring park, where we proceeded to eat, sip and talk for the next hour and a half, all the while talking to the friendly dogs who approached us on this warm, overcast afternoon. We moaned about how friends and family in far-flung places like Adelaide and Tasmania were out having pub lunches. We talked about how we were coping with this seemingly never-ending purgatory. We discussed some of the rulings, and had very different views, mostly due to our circumstances. But everybody has to do what they have to do in these times.
Then the weather started to close in, our sandwiches and coffee long gone.
A quick trip to collect some bagels and we said goodbye - Jonella with her birthday present under her arm. Her birthday's in two weeks. It's nice to have something to open on the day. I'm rather amazed at my forethought. Even more miraculous, I found wrapping paper and sticky tape to make it a proper present.
And then we said goodbye.
But for a little while, just a little while, things felt normal again. That was the best thing of all.
Yes. I really like blue cheese. I also forget that some people don't like it, but I don't understand why. I remember gathering a picnic for a friend once, and I turned up. My first comment was, 'Oh my goodness, I don't know if you like blue cheese or not. This could be the end of a lovely friendship.' Thankfully, he did like it. Phew.
Also, as much as I like blue cheese, it doesn't like me that much. To be eaten in strict moderation.
2. Coke or Pepsi?
Oh Coke. I actively don't like Pepsi. Mind you, I couldn't tell you the last time I had a coke. And I did tend to drink Coke Zero when I did drink it. As I gave up caffeine about three years ago it's a bit of a moot point.
3. Do you own a gun?
Hell, no. Why would I want one of them? I'm not a soldier, policeman, gun club member nor do I live on a farm. Gun ownership is not a big thing in the cities in Australia. We've got a very different view to gun ownership over here than they do in America.
4. Hot dogs or cheeseburgers?
Um, not a big thing over here, and we do them very differently. I do love a good burger, but I also have a hankering for the hot dogs we got as a kid. The bun is toasted on a spit, before butter is swilled around the hole, then you add tomato sauce (ketchup) and they are the best thing ever. The Keith Roadhouse does a very good, traditional Australian hot dog. It's on the way to Adelaide. It's all in the toasting of the bun in the middle. Trust me. The nearest we get to American hot dogs here are found at Ikea.
5. Favorite type of food?
Oh, that would be a toss up between Vietnamese, Mexican and Japanese. I like them all, really.
I also love a good Chinese. Oh to return to Hong Kong, where the food is amazing. And plentiful.
6. What do you drink in the morning?
Water and my normal Almond decaf latte. Mornings are not the same without fake coffee.
7. Can you do a 100 pushups?
From my knees, yes. I can do around 20 from my toes. Unfortunately, I have a sore shoulder which makes full pushups a bit hard at the moment.
8. Tattoos?
One. It's a very small Chinese symbol which rests on my hip. Out of sight, out of mind I say.
9. Do you wear glasses?
Yes, but not as much as I did. I need them for driving and distances, but have to take them off to read my phone. And I'm not getting multi-focals. I'm too vain (and proud) for that.
10. Phobia?
Snakes and huntsman spiders - or any big hairy spider. Horrible things.
11. Piercings?
Just my ears. Twice.
12. Can you whistle?
Yes. My grandfather taught me to whistle when I was about four, much to my parent's chagrin. I remember that well. I was in the back of his old Beetle. My grandfather was the best.
13. Surgeries?
A couple. I had my legs fixed twice when I was a child. Since then there have been a couple of gyneacological procedures. Thankfully nothing major, but they've been done and they fixed up the issues.
14. Like gambling?
Not really. Other than the fairly regular lottery ticket that's it. I don't like the casino, nor to I bet on the horses or the dogs. It's just not in my makeup.
15. Do you like to dance?
Yes and no. Not in public. But I have just started doing a dance class online and I'm loving it, even if I look like a fridge when I dance. It's quite liberating.
Looking for something a bit uplifting, a lot funny and that shows the best of England.
It's Ted Lasso.
The premise is really quite simple. Ted Lasso, an American football coach from Kansas, is recruited by Rebecca (Hannah Waddingham), a newly divorced Owner's wife who got the Richmond FC in the divorce settlement and is wanting to see the team relegated from the Premier League out of spite.
Lasso (Jason Sudeikis) is the epitome of the American Midwest. Completely hokum, dreadfully nice, extremely polite and terribly optimistic, the exuberant Ted is thrown into coaching this team of misfit soccer (football) players. Not that he's ever coached soccer before, but he did a good job with an American team in the past for one season. So this is a show about Midwest America meets ordinary South London.
Then you meet the team.
There's Roy, the angry captain, who underneath is just a big softy. There's pretty boy striker, Jamie Tartt (doo doo de doo de doo) a man baby who needs to grow up. There's coach beard, who doesn't say much. There's Nathan, aka Nate the Great, the bullied equipment manager who begins to find his own voice. And the downtrodden Manager of Football, Higgins, who's a bit like a member of Dad's Army, trying his best to please Rebecca. Oh, and of course there's Keeley, the aging WAG who ends up being the marketing guru for the whole outfit.
And it's quite possibly some of the most perfect comedy I've seen in ages.
It doesn't the fish out of water thing brilliantly.
There's all the team dynamics which are funny and tragic all at once. When a replacement striker comes in for a while, a South American by he name of Rojas, he's hysterical.But it sends a number of characters on new arcs.
For a little show, it's got a tremendous heart to it.
And I need to find somebody to talk Ted Lasso with. Especially as Giles from Buffy (Anthony Head) played Rebecca's odious millionaire ex-husband.
I love the observations of the other characters. I love Ted's interactoins with them all. I love that Ted bakes biscuits for Rebecca, possibly helping him soothe his own angsts. And I love that it shows a bit of London in which I lived for a few months which gets me all homesick.
Mind you, I'm only halfway through the first series.
But it's near perfect television, and we don't get that very often.
I'm still knitting during boring meetings when I'm not presenting. So far I've made five hats and two scarf - and I've just started a scarf for myself.
There's a part of me that would love to have the time and money at patience to make myself a another jumper that I will never wear. Maybe a cardigan. Or maybe not.
The thing about lockdown is you can't go and handle the wool, buy the needles, go on a humt for the perfect project. Instead, you make do with online shopping. But it's not the same.
I'm thinking once I run out of wool maybe finding yarn to make one of these. I've got better at cables and I like a challenge.
I don't need to do this. I just like keeping my hands busy.
