This month's first audiobook is Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility, as read by Rosamund Pike.
I'm loving it.
This year has been the year of the audiobook. I took them up last Christmas, knowing that I had a couple of long drives ahead, and I find audiobooks and podcasts keep me more engaged than music on the long drives. But instead of stopping my subscription, I kept it up - and it's been wonderful.
I've listened to a full cast read George Saunders' Lincoln in the Bardo - which came out with a similar air to Dylan Thomas's Under Milkwood - which I know I want to listen to again soon, and preferably with Welsh voices. I read Lincoln in the Bardo, but the audiobook brought a whole new edge to it.
The other fully casted book I listened to was Taylor Jenkins Reid's Daisy Jones and The Six. Listening to the various voices tell the story of the rise and fall of a mythical and iconic rock band was just too good (and is there ever a time when Judy Greer doesn't play the best friend? She was awesome as Karen Karen).
There has been the odd duff book. There was a Bill Bryson one which had a really hokey, American Mid-West narrator who did my head in for the first hour or so. There's also been the odd book which I haven't taken to, but on the whole, I'm finding audiobooks a great way to keep up my reading. They're great for the tram or in the car, or just walking to the supermarket and back.
Another good thing about having an Audible subscription is there are all these free books you can download. I obtained Clementine Ford's How We Love that way (and that is a MARVELLOUS book). Another find was Larissa Behrendt's After Story - another gem, a sort of First Nation's fish out of water story about a mother and daughter travelling around England on a literary tour. All of these books are available to you - and you can do other things while you listen to them.
But back to Austen. Of course I know about Sense and Sensibility. I was sixteen when I first read it. I was bemused I can still name Austen's six novels without blinking (Emma, Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice, Northanger Abbey, Persuasion, Mansfield Park, and the unfinished Sanditon.) but I havem't read these in ages. Audiobook is the way to go.
And I do love Sense and Sensibility. I love what Emma Thompson did with it in the nineties.
And I'm loving listening to Rosamund Pike read this novel. As a narrator, she's awesome. She's got the voice of the main characters just right.
And I forgot just how funny Austen can be. She's got a biting, astringent wit which courses through the novel. which is keeping me very entertained as I walk, drive, sit on the tram or just relax.
The problem with getting out of the gym at 8 p.m. is working out whether you want to eat or not.
Because tonight, I was hungry. But not that hungry. And yes, I was tired. But not that tired.
And I drove around Richmond, talking to Jonella on the phone, pondering my alleged dinner. Jonella's used to me asking for meal suggestions.She can't understand why I'm not more decisive. I've been asking her what I'm having for lunch for years.
So I drove around the suburb.
McDonalds. Nope.
KFC. Double nope.
Burger King. Yeah...nah.
Vietnamese: Don't feel like waiting and there's no parking.
Schnitz: Too heavy.
The Noodle place on Bridge Road. No, don't feel like spice.
Pop in at the supermarket: I could spend half an hour looking for something, only to come out with junk.
Besides, there's plenty of food in the fridge, I tell myself.
On getting home, I'm still not convinced on the need to eat. There's food in the fridge - still, I'm not feeling it. I don't want to have a sandwich. Too heavy. There are boiled eggs, but I want them for lunch tomorrow. Stuff in the freezer. Not now. Salad? I had that for lunch.
I settled on some rice cakes, smeared with cream cheese with a bit of sweet chilli sauce. Snacky, easy, something with a bit of crunch.
It's just interesting to watch my appetited. See what it's doing - and not giving in to habit and getting take away. I'm a bit proud about that.
I'm sitting in one of Catherine Deveny's Write Here, Write Now. I've just shut down my work lap top after a few hours of work. I got what I wanted to done, so this wasn't a bad thing.
When you can dive into December, you'd think you could do anything. For me, December is about keeping sane, getting the book group book choosing and having a few days off at the end of the month. I'm on holiday from 24 December. I might be sitting Blarney's cats if I'm really lucky - I'll take mine along with me. I have a play next Friday too - looking forward to that. But mostly I'm looking forward to ten days off. There are a few catch ups with friends scheduled too.
2. How do you celebrate your wins/success?
All we need is to have some wins and successes. Well that's what it feels like. For big successes, I'll see if I can have a party or a dinner. It's really nice to celebrate with friends. For smaller things, like having stories published, I'll crack a bottle of French champagne - again, with a friend. I always have a bottle of French Champagne sitting in the fridge.
3. Are holiday movies only for the holiday season?
Our wishes float on with the thought that there may be an Australian "holiday" movie which shows exactly what Christmas in a warm climate is like. There are very few of them about, and all of the American ones appear to have snow and egg nog and the like. I only watch Love Actually around Christmas time, just because... I think it came out when I was in England. Die Hard I'll watch at any time of year.
4. What would you consider a waste of money?
Rocking gently on my heels, I don't think anything is a waste of money - mind you, buying me red wine is a waste of money as I can't drink it - sends me loopy.
5. What do you like to eat for breakfast?
Currently, I'm having a cup of coffee - a large, almond milk, decaf latte for breakfast. On weekends, I like poached eggs, smoked salmon and toast - that is my favourite breakfast to cook.
6. How do you feel about poetry?
Wings are all you need to set your mind free - and poetry gives you wings. I really like poetry. I write poetry. I love the ideas. I love how your mind flies with the words. I love the ideas it brings. It's just another way of thinking and being. Not everybody sees this. Poetry is about feeling, not thinking. Maybe that's why people get uncomfortable with it.
7. Are you shy?
Yes. A lot of people don't get this, but yes, I'm shy. I'm socialised, and I can talk to anybody, but deep down I'm painfully shy. It takes every bit of strength I have to overcome this. Masks are a good thing. "Modes" are another. In work mode I have another persona. It works for me.
8. Do you take time to reflect on your goals?
Yes. On a month basis. Sometimes I reach them, sometimes, I don't. But Yes, I regularly reflect on my goals.
9. Something you are curious to know more about?
I want to know more about everything - I'm a curious person by nature. At the moment, I'd like to more about JIRA queries and dashboards - there must be a way to get JIRA to act like an excel spreadsheet - I've just spent the afternoon sorting that sort of stuff out. Fun it is..
10. Something that makes you feel fancy?
Oh, that would be eating fresh oysters in a fancy restaurant. I love fresh oysters, but only have them when I am out at some place posh. They would be washed down with a glass of French champagne and followed by something decadent - a good French meal would be superb. But oysters are wonderful things - they are also an acquired taste.
11. How you’re still handling the pandemic?
I'm okay. I'm thankful that I'm fully vaccinated (and my booster shot is booked for early February) and I'm glad that Australia is around 90% vaccinated across the population of adults. It means we have our life on a trajectory for being back to normal. Things are better than they were. Here in Melbourne, we've been one of the most locked down cities in the world. It's just nice to walk around the streets without a mask on now. I'm heading back into the office next week for the first time since July (okay, I did go in for a day a few weeks ago. The book group is meeting in person on Sunday. These are all good things. Thankfully, I've only had one friend pass away, and they were a tragic vaccine accident. Of those I know who've had COVID, they are mostly recovered. I've very blessed in many ways.
12. A close friend you’ve never met in person?
In the past I had a number of pen pals and people I knew online. I think of the Plastic Mancunian as a friend, even though we've never met. Some of the people who do Sunday Stealing each week I think of as friends. I've had penpals over the years who were great friends. I miss having pen pals. But none of these people are close friends.
13. Do you get in on trends early or later?
When it comes to technology, I'm an early adopter. And I was well in front of the gin craze which is taking over Australia. Other than that, trends don't really affect me.
I wonder about the universe and it's machinations.
Today was designated self-care day. A sleep in, a massage and a trip to the hairdresser. After yet another long week, a day of taking it easy was needed. And it was great.
Traffic was bad on the way down to the hairdresser. As usual, I did my phone calls over the hands free while driving down the Cheltenham. It seems a long way to go for a haircut, or in today's case, a quick top up of my roots and hairline, but when you've been going to your hairdresser for near on twenty years, these are the things you do. the 45 minute drive in solid traffic went quickly.
I got to my appointment five minutes late, settled into the chair. Another woman was in another chair having her highlights perked up. We started a conversation.
My gorgeous hairdresser, after bringing me a cup of tea and stupidly asked about work. I was honest. Stressed. Long hours. Unrealistic time frames. That sort of thing.
The woman in the other chair listened in.
We got talking.
She works for a rival energy company. Her team are looking for a technical writer. Day rates. Six to eight month contract. Something a little different.
Hmmm.
So, I'm sitting there thinking what is the universe doing to me?
I'm not overly happy at work at the moment - and it looks like it will get worse in the next few months.
And there, in front of me, may be an opportunity to do something else. It may be better paid. It probably won't be doing overly long hours. It's in my skill set. The office is as convenient as the one I'm in now. And it's a good company.
And as my hairdresser said, how is it that you've come from the middle of town, to meet a random in the salon's other chair, to meet a person who's looking for somebody with your skill set.
True.
Maybe the universe is conspiring to find me something else - something without the stress.
Regardless, the person in the other chair. we connected on LinkedIn. And we may just meet for a more formal chat, when both of us don't have a head full of foils and hair dye where we can talk about this in a more professional setting.
And why not?
When the universe gives you road signs, seems silly to not to check them out and see where they might tale you.
Earlier this evening, in front of me sat a coffee negroni.
According the the recipe, a coffee negroni has the following ingredients:
15 mls of Campari
15 mls of Red Vermouth
25 mls of dry gin (I'm using Bombay Sapphire)
25 mls of Mr Black coffee liqueur
I learned my lesson last week. One fully caffeinated coffee drink is all I can have, and that is all. No more. Last week we settled in for a session and stupidly I went on until 7.30 drinking Archie Rose Blasphemy Coffee whisky. Dumb, dumb move. I was wide awake at 4 a.m. the following day watchuing Downton Abbey. I gave up trying to sleep.
Tonight , I've only had one nip. I would love to have another, but I want to sleep tonight.
Thankfully, we didn't settle in tonight - just had the one. Spent our drinkies meeting finishing off some paperwork.
Yes, it's been another week of it - not quite as bad as last week, but still not fun.
But the coffee negroni helped a bit.
So did the walk around town this morning. Having a couple of errands to run, I left at 7.15 a.m. and was back for 9 a.m. The hour spent wandering around, popping into the office, wandering around the city streets was a joy. As there aren't as many people in town, it was a joy to wander around, listening to the post office clock chime and watch the people go by.
After work, once the coffee negroni was drained and the cat was fed, I went for another walk.
I think I've found my next set of glasses.
I'll have to wait til pay day, but I think these are it.
Maybe I'll try them on again tomorrow when I don't have a coffee negroni down me.
It's just nice that the work week is over.
I might be able to think and feel like a human being tomorrow.
The work laptop was turned on at 8.15 a.m. this morning.
The work laptop was turned off at 7.30 p.m. tonight.
And being abslutely munted tonight I fell down on the couch to watch one of my favourite guilty pleasure television shows.
RBT - Random Breath Test.
Yep, I've said it. Barely a week goes by when I don't watch RBT. Normally, it's on when I get back from the gym. And it needs to be watched - even for a few minutes.
I call it "Things bogans do". Because really, have you seen the people who end up on RBT?
Today's episode came out of Adelaide, which, as everybody knows, has it's fair share of bogans.
The episode didn't disappoint. Of course, they set up the breathos at the North and South of the city. Suburbs like Elizabeth, Salisbury, Christies Beach... fun places. (I bet you'd ever get a breatho in Unley or Burnside)
And you get the same characters each week. There's the:
The boomer on the way back from golf
The young footy player
The down on his luck bogan who's just moved states.
The agro bloke who can't believe he's over the limit
The strung out druggie who's trying to get their life back.
Nine out of ten of the 'victims' are men. Most are pretty dishevelled. Most are pretty remorseful when they are meted out with their punishments - which are displayed at the conclusion of their stories.
Did you know in Adelaide, if you're caught over 0.08, you get your car impounded for a month? Along with a payment of a grand to get it out of the clink? Sheesh.
As somebody who cherishes her driver's licence and has a blanket one drink and that's it if I'm driving, I just wonder at these people.
Where do they find them?
Is this the modern version of the stocks? (And sure, you occasionally feel like throwing like throwing rotten vegetables at these people)
And sure, sometimes you want to find out how some of the sob stories turn out - the junkies and down and outers who really look like they've had it tough, who have been caught after slipping. Oh the humanity.
It's life at its best and worst.
And most Thursday nights you'll find me on the couch watching this dreadful tripe.
Today is the anniversary of when we parted ways. It's been a year.
And all is as it should be.
Do I miss you?
Sometimes. But not often.
Do I wish you were still in my life?
Sometimes. But not often.
Do I wish we parted sooner?
Maybe. Sometimes. As I've come out of this unscathed, I have no quibbles.
Do I wish I knew what you were up to?
Yes and no. More out of curiosity than need. I don't need to know what's going on in your life. I miss sharing mine with you. That was your decision. I've respected your wishes.
Have I wanted to contact you?
Only to wish you happy birthday. I didn't. I thought about it, but I didn't. Proud of myself for that one. No point stirring the pot.
Did you break my heart?
No. I was hoping we could have come out of this as friends, but that wasn't your choice. You made yourself clear. That stung a bit, but disappointments are part of being human.
But all is as it should be.
When I say I sometimes miss you, I miss aspects of you, like talking to you, the fact that we never struggled to find things to talk about, our mutual love of dodgy films. Of course, I miss the physical intimacy - running my fingers through your chest hair, the smell of your neck, the soft hair at the back of your neck, the way you twitch in your sleep - things like that.
But after a year, I realise that what we had was never enough. Not that either of us asked for more. It was nice. It was fun. Convenient. An escape for both of us. They're not really things you base a big relationship on.
Of course, there were the things that I let slide. You didn't make me laugh. At times, I felt I was walking on eggshells. Everything had to be done on your terms. I'm not one for compromise, but I was willing to try. You weren't.
And yes, there were the things that irritated me. Your unwillingness to read fiction. And your inability to eat anything hotter than table pepper. (heaven help anybody if you found a skerrick of chilli on your plate) The fact that you spent twice the time I ever did in the bathroom - God knows what you do in there. And your inherent selfishness. And your bewilderment at my kindness. And your inability to see joy in little things. I never told you any of this.
Looking at the list above, I know we are better off apart.
And all is as it should be.
I think of you with fondness. And wish you well on your way.
It's been a year.
And I am okay.
With love,
P
p.s. Today's song often played in my head after you went on your way. Portishead really says it all. And yes, though we had similar tastes in music, Portishead will always be mine.
