Goodbye, Philomena

Funerals are funny things.

They're particularly strange when you combine the Freemasons and the Liberal Catholic Church. 

Philomena would have loved it. 

Some takeaways from today: 

1. Walking into our temple, where the service was being conducted, I saw the Chief in Charge of organising. My first question, "Where's Philomena?" His answer, "She's in there...and she was early!" We always said she'd be late for her own funeral. Turns out we were wrong. 
2. Talking to one of the senior masons about our friend, her comments were, "I've been talking to my guides. They let her in up there a week ago." This is the only place you have conversations like this. Mind you, I couldn't feel her presence - others commented on this too. Philomena used to fill the space. 
3. The people in the room were dressing with hints of purple. Her favourite colour. When you're not a purple person, have you any idea how hard it is to find something in this shade? I bought a lovely scarf online when I knew the funeral was taking place and there was a dress colour. It turned up about half an hour after I got home... typical. 
4. Watching the people take care of our Philomena was heart-warming. She has a tenant in her granny flat, who she'd taken on as proxy grand daughter. It was so beautiful to see the care she took with our friend as she was going into her final months and weeks. 
5. It was also lovely to see people participate in the short Masonic ceremony after the requiem mass (snooze). The Masonic ceremony is only a few minutes long. The words are moving and timeless. After the ritual is said, masons are invited to take a sprig of an evergreen - normally rosemary, pine or acacia, bow to the coffin, leave the sprig on the coffin, bow to the family, and go back to your seat. More than half of the people there weren't masons, but they joined in. It was lovely. 
6. If you want a decent spread at a wake, talk to the ladies at your local bowls club. The sausage rolls and fairy cakes were phenomenal. 

So, we saw her off. There were enough people there who loved and respected her to make a show for it. I'm working a few extra hours over the week to make up for the time off during the day, but there was nowhere else I was going to be today. 

Today's song: 

Purple

Tomorrow I will be attending Philomena's funeral. 

Philomena is somebody I know from the Freemasons and because of this, I will take the time off work and go along. It's mason's bro code. If there's a funeral, you turn up if humanly possible. Interstate masons are coming - living just down the road from where the funeral is taking place, I have no excuse. 

I can tell you a few things about Philomena, because she does deserve to be remembered. 

• She was a few months shy of her 80th birthday. 
• She would give you the shirt off her back under most circumstances. 
• She was not in good health for the last few years of her life.
• And she wasn't that good at looking after herself.  
• She loved music. 
• There was an amazing greatness to her lateness - and put me to shame. 
• She was an ordained priest in the Liberal Catholic Church. 
• She was a bookkeeper for years. 
• Her driving record wasn't good. Actually, it was pretty awful. 
• She always had a little dog. 
• She loved purple. 

When it comes to purple, I'm a bit hit and miss. A little bit of purple - fine - I mean, it's not pink, which I can't stand. A little bit of purple in moderation is fine. 

We've been requested to turn up to the funeral wearing a bit of purple. 

I don't own anything purple. Or lilac. Or violet, heliotrope, lavender, fuschia, wisteria, periwinkle, mulberry, mauve, plum or amethyst. As I said, it's not my colour. 

Being the obedient person that I am and knowing that Philomena will be judging me on high for not respecting her wishes, I got online to order a purple silk scarf. This was a fortnight ago. 

The scarf hasn't turned up yet. 

It then leads me to wonder where I can get something purple to wear to this event. It feels strange not to turn up with at least something within the range. Maybe I could put something blue and red together and pretend. Or wear my 17th degree apron, which is purple. Or race down to Big W and see if there's a cheap scarf. 

We've been told we can wear our regalia. I'm not sure how I feel about that. The funeral is taking place in the Freemason's temple. When asking the person arranging the ceremony for a few more details, I asked would they just have her ashes out on display. Oh no, full coffin. Hopefully not open (I think that would be doubtful anyway, she's been gone a fortnight)

Regardless, I'm sure Philomena would love that we're making a fuss over her. I'm going to race down to Big W to see if that lilac scarf is available, as a last act of respect. She'd like that. 

It will be strange not having her around. It will be odd going to masons, when the first question asked has been, for years, "Where's Philomena?"

It will be strange to walk into the temple and ask that questions, only to know that she's in the box out the front. 

Today's Song: 

Movie Review: The Wedding Banquet

 Movie Number 21 of 2025

The Movie: The Wedding Banquet

The Cinema: Hoyts Victoria Gardens

Runtime: One hour 43 minutes

Stars: 4

Part of making the most out of being in Melbourne means seeing as many films as I can before going back to Darwin, in particular, films which are a little less mainstream. 

The Wedding Banquet is one of those films - and there's a lot to be admired. It's got an 85% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, with both audiences and critics. 

I'm not one for reviews or critics, yet I found this film utterly charming. 

Taking this film away from the norms, we find ourselves taking in the story of two gay couples, who are at a bit of a crossroads.

Lee (Lily Gladstone) and her partner Angela (Kellie Marie Tran) are trying for a baby without success. They are despondent because they can't afford another round of IVF. 

At the same time Chris (Bowen Tang) and his partner Min (Han Gi-Chan) are having some relationship battles of their own. Chris is somewhat neurotic. Min is thinking about proposing to Chris,but is a little bit scared of the optics, especially as is visa is nearly up.

Adding to the pressures, Min's grandmother (Yuon Yuh-jung) doesn't know her grandson is gay and wants him to come back to Korea to take over the family business. Angela's mother, on the other hand, is an annoying gay right's advocate who shits her daughter to tears. 

The group come to the solution to keep Min in the country and help the girls pay for their IVF - a marriage of convenience. This simple plan gets more involved when Min's grandmother wants him to have a traditional Korean wedding. And much hilarity ensues. 

Written and directed by Andrew Ahn, this movie is a film about families, off the back of Ang Lee's 1993 classic. This is a film drives home that it's the families you make, rather than the ones you're born with, that keep you going. It also shines a light on the Asian diaspora in Seattle - a very open and accepting city, which was great to see. 

I found this movie utterly charming. The characters were real - flawed and funny. The situations, at times, seems a bit absurd. 

It's definitely worth a look. 

Today's song: 

Movie Review: The Count of Monte Cristo

 Movie Number 20 of 2025    

The Movie: The Count of Monte Cristo

The Cinema: Palace Cinemas, Balwyn

Runtime: Two hours 58 minutes

Language: French with English Subtitles

Stars: 4

A three-hour foreign film which has you wrapped around its little finger from the first scene. Yes, they occur, and The Count of Monte Cristo is one of them. 

French cinema is going through something of a renaissance when it comes to action films. Recently, the same production company put out two movies about The Three Musketeers. Big budget, lots of action, gorgeous sets and costumes. The Count of Monte Cristo has the same look and feel about it, and it's wonderful. 

The story hasn't varied since Alexandre Dumas penned this famous tome. 

It tells the story of Edmond Dantes, a young man who performs a good deed and is promoted in the navy, only to have his friends betray him, and on his wedding day to the luckless Mercedes. He's thrown in jail for the better part of 15 years. While in hideous conditions in this hell hole, he befriends an Abbot who not only helps him escape but gives him the secrets to the wealth of the Knights Templar. With the wealth, he recreates himself as the Count of Monte Cristo and sets himself on a path of revenge. 

Sounds a bit convoluted? It is, but for the convoluted plot, you get it. You want to know what's going to happen to the Count and his fellow travelers, hand-picked to help him get revenge on the men who betrayed him. 

First thing about this - I loved Pierre Niney as Edmond / the Count. He's a charismatic actor in his prime and he's got the right level of moodiness to pull off a convincing Count. The rest of the cast are great too. Something I love about French is that the people on the screen are not perfect. French actors look like the guys who meet down the pub. French women, always classy. I do not have that plastic appeal of many an American actress.And they are so good. The cast contains many great French actors and this keeps the action moving along.

The cinematography, sets and costumes are also excellent. These are all high-end, but also have a feeling of reality. The Count's chateau is especially gorgeous. 

Alexandre de La Patellière and Matthieu Delaporte share the direction on this very long, but impressive film. For an old tale, it is a story well told, with the elements of action keeping viewers on their toes. 

This is well worth a look. It's fun. There's action. There's romance. There's revenge. It's almost like The Princess Bride, but set a bit later - and in French. 

This is great if you're looking for something different.

Today's Song: 

Sunday Stealing: Bathroom Break

 I'm in between sessions at the Melbourne Writer's Festival today, so I'm taking the opportunity to get the questions out of the way. The Irish writer, Marian Keyes was an absolute delight and I'm off to see Kaliane Bradley once I've had some lunch. Never heard of Kaliane Bradley - she wrote this wonderful book called The Ministry of Time. It's a genre bending novel. Plastic Mancunian, if you're reading this, you might enjoy it. 

Anyway, here goes the questions, provided, as always by Sunday Stealing. Oh, and some of these are a little personal. 

1. Do you shampoo once or lather, rinse and repeat?

I generally wash my hair once a week but rinse it out most days. When it gets washed, normally on a Friday morning, I shampoo twice, the second time with about half the amount of shampoo. If it's an interim wash, then I'll only use the shampoo once. 

2. Do you use conditioner a) daily, b) when you need it, c) never?

Conditioner - every, single time after shampooing, then some leave in conditioner products during the week. My hair is coloured. It needs the extra help. 

3. What's your shaving cream preference: foam or gel?

I don't shave. I get my legs waxed. No preference. 

4. Is your toothbrush manual or electric?

I have an electric toothbrush - and a travel electric toothbrush, although for overseas trips I'll go back to the manual one - less to lug around. 

5. Dental floss, soft picks, neither or both? 

I have both dental floss and picks, but I confess, I don't floss as often as I should. 

6. Do you use mouthwash a) daily, b) when you need it, c) never?

Mouthwash only gets used when needed - like after a garlicky meal or when I have a cold. I do have a small bottle in my toiletries bag for when I travel. 

7. Are there magazines in your bathroom?

No. Nowhere to put them. 

8. Is there bar soap or liquid soap on your bathroom sink? 

I have some liquid soap on the bathroom sink. I love this stuff - the Ovidio Vetiver, Patchouli and Hemp handwash. I love it's earthy yet clean smell. I love vetiver regardless. 

9. What kind of soap is in your shower?

I love all sorts of different smells, and I have both shower gel and soap in the shower. Currently the bar of soap smells like peaches. I've also got some Endota shower gel and a lovely Aveda one in there as well. I like having options. 

10. Now for the most important question: does the toilet paper drape over or under?

Definitely over, drape to the front. It's in the patent, as Sheldon Cooper pointed out. 

I'm one of those people who turn the roll around if it's on the wrong way. It doesn't matter where I am, if it's not right, then it has to be corrected. 

Today's song: 

Provocative T-Shirt Day

 Friday has become the day I see the physio. I've strained my left bum muscles, and I need some help rehabilitating them (You know, gluteus maximus, medius and minimus into the iliac crest - they're all buggered). 

Friday has also become Provocative T-shirt Day. 

It is Friday. It's allowed to be. 

I rarely turn my camera on in meetings. 

Until last week, nobody who mattered saw my t-shirts. 

Last week, I turned up to the physio in jeans and a t-shirt that read "Typical Bloody Leftie" in honour of the election. 

It was a talking point. 

Today, I turned up in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt reading "We are the granddaughters of the witches you could not burn."

I love this t-shirt.

And spent a part of the session explaining to the physio, as he got stuck into my arse cheek, that wearing provocative t-shirts is good for the soul. 

"Is this a work thing or a Pandora thing?"

"A Pandora thing. I'm not one for dressing up to work from home and shouty t-shirts make me feel good."

I have to go back again next week. 

But what t-shirt should I wear? I've got a choice of t-shirts reading the following: 

• Hell was Boring
• In my defense I was left unsupervised
• See You Next Tuesday
• A Pixies T-shirt with a black cat on it
• An old one with a sugar skull on it
• A Pearl Jam Concert T-shirt
• A green one with elephants. 
• A Hoodoo Gurus concert t-shirt
• The Whitlams concert t-shirt.

I'm sure I'll work it out by next week.

Today's song:

Theatre Review: Beetlejuice

 The Production: Beetlejuice - The Musical

The Theatre: The Regent Theatre on Collins Street

Until 3 August (This was a preview ticket)

Runtime: Two and a half hours

Stars: 3.5

Reminder to self. YOU DON'T REALLY LIKE MUSICALS... Well, not the big budget ones. 

BUT... I love Tim Burton's film, Beetlejuice and I've always wanted to see inside the Regent Theatre, having lived in Melbourne for 25 years I've never been inside the place, so I listened to my better angels and got a ticket up the back of the stalls where a quick escape could be had. 

For the price, I got my money's worth. Would I see it again? No. But other people really seemed to enjoy it and gave the production a standing ovation. 

On the good side of things, Beetlejuice is a spectacle. It's wonderfully staged and the lighting is fantastic. 

Tick. 

It also takes most of the elements of the movie and incorporates them into the musical. We have Adam and Barbara, there's Lydia's parents, Charles and Delia (although there is a pivot here - not worth going into), there's some of the quirky characters you find in hell, like Miss Argentina, the girl scout, Otho, the football players, and thankfully, Bob. Bob is everybody's favourite. 

Lydia, played by Karis Oka, is excellent, and Eddie Perfect makes Beetlejuice his own. Both are excellent, and even from my seat up the back, you could see they were having a ball. 

But, yeah, this is the sort of musical that doesn't float by boat. I even fell asleep while the Banana Boat Song played. Not a good sign. 

I truly think this was a matter of "It's me, not you." I quite liked this. I liked the music, the dancing and enjoyed how the show deviated from the movie, yet payed homage to it as well. 

But I'm a purist, and just as you should never meet your heroes, you should be very careful about seeing musicals of your favourite films. 

Others will drink this up. It's a very entertaining musical about death, as the first song extols.

As for me, I'm just glad I finally got to have a look inside the Regent Theatre. 

And Beetlejuice, the movie, is available on Binge. 

Today's song: