I'm not feeling the urge to write at the moment, and I refuse to write two blog posts in a row about MAFS (oh my God, ManBun...the teeth... the tuna...) so I've pulled a journalling card.
Today's question: Where would you most like to live? (And why aren't you living there already?)
I've had a problem with my internal geography for over thirty years.
I should be living in Europe.
It's always been like this. I feel more at home over there. I smile more. I'm more me. It's where I feel at home. Always has been. Always will be.
I remember setting foot in London for the first time in 1991. It was an instant recognition of home. And yes, I landed well, firstly into an apartment on Richmond Bridge, and then, for the next four years, it was a mess of share flats in the zone two area. Then I was in West Hampstead for four years, and I was home.
Britain has always felt like home, despite the fact that my family came to Australia in the 1850s and has never left. And sure, when I'm away from here I miss the big skies and the magpie squawks and all the quirks we have as Australians.
But I still feel more at home over there. Being over there a few months ago set this in stone. The tube map is still ingrained in my brain. I love mooching around old things - older things than those recorded over here. It's like it's a cellular memory. I got a really uneasy feeling looking at the Tower of London. I can't be the only person who feels like this.
But I don't live there because I don't have the passport that will let me stay, and I never found somebody to marry so that I didn't have to come back here.
Then, this year, I fell in love with Paris. It's a challenge of a place because of the language barrier, but it felt right. That I speak more than a smattering of French is helpful. That I love the culture is another good thing. That I feel safe walking the streets at night - that's a bit of a revelation. I'm being prompted to find a portable job, find a house or cat sitting job and move over for a few months. I know I would love it.
But I don't know what I would do about my cat. I love him terribly and leaving him somewhere makes me nervous.
And the inconvenient passport makes things far more difficult. It's fine staying for three to six months - but after that.
Most of the places I wouldn't mind trying to live are hard to get to without a European passport. Barcelona, Madrid, Lisbon, Rome, Mykonos...
Oh yes, I do rather like island life. Maybe I should think about moving to Tasmania. I like it down there.
This is a big question.
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