Best Self Card: Changes in Education

Best Self Card: If you could go back, what would you like to change about your education?

We can't go back in time, and that is a good thing, but when it comes to education, there are some things I think I would like to do over.

So here they are:

1) When I was in primary school, I was offered the chance to apply for a scholarship at one of the private schools in town. I wasn't allowed to take the test - I wish I did take it. Life would have been very different if I'd gone to a different school. I'd be interested to see where I would have ended up.

2) At uni during my undergrad years, I wish I did drama rather than politics in first year. I love drama and ended up hanging out with the drama nerds at uni, who were much more fun. But this was the late eighties. University wasn't the same as it is now. Changing subjects wasn't as easy. I think I would have thrived in drama.

3) I wish I'd applied myself more at university the first time round. Again, it was the late eighties and I had absolutely no idea about the world. It always amazes me what I can do when I apply myself.

4) I wish I'd started my masters earlier - though I've made awesome friends out of the course I did.

5) I wish I could find the time to go and learn French properly again as an adult. My French is okay, but I wish it was better. I found out as an adult I'm good with languages.

6) Oh how I wish I got piano lessons as a child.

I feel like I've been in school most of my life, but looking back, these are a few things that if I had a do over, I'd be doing now.


Today' Song: (Brought to you by the 30 Day Song Challenge)

Day 14: A song you'd love to have played at your wedding:

Pretty

I'm so not in the mood to write.

So I'm going to share the sunrise I saw this morning. There have been some wonderful sunrises and sunsets of late, but this morning, when I met up with Kaz for our twice weekly walk, we were greeted with this.

View this post on Instagram

#sunrise #Melbourne #happyplace #morningwalk

A post shared by pandorabehr (@pandorabehr) on May 5, 2020 at 5:07pm PDT

And you realise there are some really good things about getting up at the crack of dawn.

Sunrises are one of those things.

Back to novelling. Which I don't feel like doing either.

Today' Song: (Brought to you by the 30 Day Song Challenge)

Day 13: A song you like from the 70s.

I Hate Committing

I'm just out of school - well the zoom link which is school now - nine students, one teacher talking about aspects of writing for two hours on a Friday night (and it seems a three hour stretch for a couple of Saturdays).

And I'm at the stage with this novel where I have to start commiting to a few things. Which is hard for me as I hate commitment.

But so far:

• I have a character, Faith
• I have a situation
• I have a setting (Melbourne in about five years time)
• I've found my voice for writing
• I've got the whole thing started

But now, I've got to start to commit to:

• Some other characters - I have a few in mind
• Where the story is going
• What I want to really happen in this bloody book
• And the tone I want to take throughout
• And the politics of the book. 

Tonight in class we did place and setting. We had five minutes to write something, looking at the ins and outs of a place. Give the place a meaning. Make it sing. 

This is what I wrote:

Standing in his back yard, I looked over the ghostly suburban scene, a lonely tea towel on the Hills Hoist did its rounds as the clothesline proffered its odd metallic whine. It never changed. The grass was yellowed, part form the dog’s business, part through the drought. The ever-present ant hill spewed a line of the insects towards the beer fridge, its hum audible from fifty paces. It was once their family fridge. I could never grasp why he never threw the thing out. Buster sat next to me, his wet nose nudging at my hand. Beyond the yard, the back of the You Yangs were visible. Such a strange name for such little hills. Barely mountains at all. It’s where I grew up. It never changed. The squeaks and groans and hisses from the machinery found in the shed had been there since my childhood. In some ways they were comforting.

The magpie’s song would start soon. No so much a dawn chorus than a call to arms. They were relentless too. I’ve always hated the fuckers. They remind me of the malice one finds in country towns.

I breathe in the dry, dusty air. This place could never exist in the tropics. Who knows what you would find in the abandoned tyres found by the fence. Why he never got rid of them, never cleaned up, I would never know. He’s not around to ask any more.

This is not my home. It never was.

Today's Song: (Brought to you by the 30 Day Song Challenge)

Day 12: A song from your preteen years

Father Figure

Tonight I drink Baileys and I have a tin of sweetened condensed milk open in front of me. There is a spoon in the tin. The cat wants to try some, but that is the cat's perogative - he wants to sample everything I eat - just has he has to get in the shower cubicle after I have finished showering to check things out.

He's the one bright part of what's ended up being a rather awful evening.

See, one of my favourite people is over in South Australia, in a hospital, in the process of dying.

He's a long term family friend. To me, he's been a father figure for most of my life. I've known him all of my days. He's my mother's best friend's husband. I've called him Uncle since I started to talk. Even though I've got a perfectly wonderful step-father, I still consider this man my other Dad. (My father passed away over twenty years ago).

I spoke to my Mum yesterday, she told me that things were going downhill for him. Things were happening. He lives down near my parents. They've been part of the same social circle for decades. Two years ago, he started to extricate himself from the large circle of friends my folks socialise in. The Beefsteak and Burgundy Club, which is something my parents and their friends live for, he gave up his membership. His behaviour was becoming somewhat erratic. But my folks kept the door open to him. With nearly sixty years of friendship under their belt, it's what you do.

After a call from his son on Saturday, the folks dropped in on him. What they found left them in shock. He's a shell of the person once was. Frail, sallow and grey. He invited them in. He struggled to find coffee mugs in his own kitchen. His memory, which had been failing him for years, had settled into deep confusion. He asked when his wife was coming home. She died ten years ago. He asked for the number of his parents. Similarly, they've been gone for years. Mum sounded a little rattled. She's like me. It's that sense of being totally unable to help. Yesterday, they were saying it was probably a bladder infection sending him a bit potty.

After getting off the phone to Mum, I made contact with his daughter who lives in the Mallee. Sent a note of support, gave my phone number, told her whatever she needed, I was there to help. I used the name my family call me in the text. It felt strange to use that name. She said she's pass on my regards when he's a bit more lucid.

I remembered a conversation we had a few years ago.

"When are you going to stop calling me Uncle?"
"When you stop calling me Dory."

The stalemate remains.

Earlier tonight, Mum called again. This is a rare occurence. I talk to my mother once a week whether I need to or not. She left a message. Call when you can, she said.

It appears in the last 24 hours, things have changed. My uncle's son got him to the doctor. They sent him to the local hospital. Tests were run. Scans were run. He's riddled with cancer. There's nothing that can be done. He's not in any apparent pain, thank goodness, and his spirits are fine, even if he is confused. He will be an exemplary patient - he's one of the best-mannered men I've ever known.

But in this Corona-crazy world, I have no way of getting back to South Australia to say goodbye. Unless something dramatic changes, I doubt I'll be able to go back for his funeral whenever that may be (and okay, he's not dead yet).   Besides, they only allow ten people at a funeral, and there is no hugging, no comfort. I believe if I do make my way over there, I'd be stuck in quarantine for 14 days. I can't do that to my family, let alone myself (and my cat).

But there's more to this. Okay, I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself. I can't go out with friends to distract myself. You can't get a hug. There are no planes to take you home. You can't get to say goodbye.

This coronavirus shite has got very real for me.

But mostly I'm just sad. Somebody who I've loved for all of my years is coming to the end of their life. He won't be there to argue politics over the Christmas table or sit with under my parents' willow trees with a glass of wine putting the world to right. I've lost my alternative bed when I want to escape my parents (I've been taking advantage of this for nearly forty years). I will miss his unconditional love. He could always see over my lefty - greenie - feminista ways.

Somebody who I've always seen as a father figure is ending his days.

I don't know how you mourn in these strange times.

I'm not sure what I dislike the most.


Today's song: Brought to you by the 30 Day Song Challenge

Day 10: A song that makes you sad.

The Conversation Starter Meme

Well it is Sunday. I've been for a walk, the cat is asleep on the bed, done two loads of washing, made a cake and I'm about to take said cake around to my friends whose two kids turned ten yesterday. I might not be able to give them a hug, but I can take them cake without getting arrested. We're hoping that after next weekend, some of the restrictions will be relaxed a bit. I'm missing hugging people - but at least we are safe - or as safe as the restrictions let us. (Less than 100 people have died from Coronavirus and currently there are only about 1000 live recorded cases about the country - to say we are fortunate is an understatement.)

Anyway, as I have things to do, lets get on with the questions, gratefully supplied by Bev at Sunday Stealing.

1. What is your favorite song lyric? Why?

'There are places I'll remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain

All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends, I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life, I've loved them all.'

You just can't go past The Beatles. This is one of their best ballads. It just gets me each time I hear it. It stops me in my tracks.

2. Who was the worst teacher you ever had?

The bloke who taught me physics in Year Eleven was pretty ordinary. He looked like a yeti - and I just couldn't get it. I hated physics.

I had a professor in First Year Uni who taught French - he was very ordinary too. Put me off the langauge for a couple of years.

3. What were 3 things that scared you as a child?

Spiders, snakes and getting lost. I'm still not great with the first two.

4. What are 3 things that scare you now?

Snakes, spiders and commitment.

5. Would you rather have the power of time travel or the power to see the future?

I think I'd rather have the power to time travel. I read tarot. I've had snippets of the future shown to me in little bits - and you can't do anything with it. Time travel could be fun - daunting, but fun.

6. Money, power, or good looks – which would you rather have an unlimited supply of?

Money. I'm nothing to look at and I'm not into power, but money certainly can make things a lot easier.

7. Are you jealous of anything?

No. Pointless emotion.

8. What makes you feel most loved?

Being cooked for. I love when people cook for me - it doesn't happen enough.

9. Do you believe in soulmates?

Unfortunately yes. And unfortunately, you don't always end up with that person.

10. What is something that made you laugh the most?

Animals and their antics. Monty Python. Red Dwarf. The Young Ones. Good political satire. People.



11. What were 3 of the happiest days of your life?

When I first got a story published. When I moved to England. When I saw David Byrne live - both times.

12. What is your biggest flaw

I'm lazy. Don't tell anybody. I am a very flawed person. I can be indecisive, cruel, mean and judgemental. But I'm working on all these.

13. Who would play you in a movie about your life?   

Oh gawd. I look a bit like the Supernanny, but she's not an actress. Now - give the role to Frances McDormand. For a younger me, maybe Carey Mulligan  or Yael Stone.

14. What is something you experienced that you have no explanation for.

The feeling of deja vu I felt in Spain, particularly Toledo, was overwhelming. I got around the streets without a map. It just felt so much like home. I'm not Spanish. I'd never been to Spain before this. Bit I've been there before in some life or other. It really resonated with me.

15. What is the saddest book you ever read?

Oh, that probably goes to Hanya Yanagihara's A Little Life. It's extraordinary, but gutwrenching.

16. What is your dream home like?

I would love a terrace house with a back courtyard in the inner suburbs. I'd love it to be completely modern on the inside, lots of blonde wood, storage and modern art, with a wood fire for winter and good air conditioning for summer. If not, a cottage overlooking the beach would be lovely.

17. What creature/insect would most creep you out if you found it crawling on you?

Huntmen spiders - actually any large spider. I really don't like spiders.

18. What’s your preferred Monopoly piece?

The boot or the dog. I haven't played Monopoly in decades.

19. What was your most embarrassing moment?

I have too many of them to tell. Having my dress split at the back on me at work one time was pretty dreadful.

20. Could the earth be flat?

No. Science says so and I tend to believe in science and the near 500 years of accepted findings. I don't think that if you go too far out to sea you find dragons. Daft question.


Today's Song: (Brought to you by the 30 Day Song Challenge)

Day 11: A song you never get tired of

Edna's Lemon Slice

Weekends have me baking at the moment. Normally it's just a chocolate cake for Chance and Lance, also known as The Units, also known as Maow Maows brothers. They turn ten today. It's been my job over the years to make birthday cake. It's one of those joys doing this. They seems to like my bog standard chocolate cake, with chocolate icing and smarties on top.

Making things a bit different on top of the weekly chocolate cake I've been dropping round there since lockdown started, I'm trying my hand at making Barney's Mum's infamous lemon slice.

Edna's lemon slice is orgasmic. It's got a reputation across Australia as one of the best things to come out of Launceston in decades. Whenever Blarney and Barney go back to visit, the invariably come back with a tin full of slice which last for about a week. When Barney was at university, his friends would raid his lunchbox for this venerated slice. Edna's slice has been mentioned on the news (One of their friends is married to one of the newsreaders here in Melbourne.)

Edna's Lemon Slice is legendary.

And I've been entrusted with the recipe.

The thing is, I got the recipe and I've already gone and played with a few things.

Edna's recipe asks for a packed of Marie biscuits. I'm sorry - Marie biscuits are the worst. Nope. I've changed they up to Nice biscuits. That's what I make pie crusts with, they are a step for slice. Crumb up the biscuits it says. Mix the biscuit crumbs with a cup of desicated coconut. I only had shredded coconut. This is probably a deviation which will get me into trouble.

Then mix in the rind of one lemon, the juice of one lemon, 125 grams of melted butter, and half a tin of condensed milk. Why half a tin of condensed milk I don't know. What do you do with half a tin of condensed milk is beyond me (other than eat it and fall into a sugar coma - but that would be going in a most wonderful way) .

Once mixed, press the mix into a 25 x 18 xm pan.

Mix up some icing using icing sugar, a knob of butter, lemon rind and lemon juice. Ice the slice, then slice.

I'm still considering putting in a thin layer of lemon curd between the slice base and the icing.

But this might be seen as sacrelige.

I've finished the slice now. I'll see how go tomorrow when I drop of the slice and the birthday cake tomorrow.

Regardless, it's been fun.



Today's Song: (Brought to you by the 30 Day Song Challenge)

Day 9: A song that makes you happy.

The last of the 30 Word Challenge

It's cold. It's bloody cold. 

It's the first of May.

We're still in Stage 3 Lockdown.

I'm making Barney's mum's lemonslice later today to take round to them on Sunday. 

I'm pondering whether I need to change out of my ugg boots to go the supermarket later. It's that cold. I'm wearing ugg boots. 

And I managed to do all 30 days of the Writers Victoria April Flash Fiction Challenge. 30 days, 30 words. 30 thoughts. It's a great thing to get the creative juices flowing.

Will need to find another creative challenge for May. 

@Writers_Vic#WVFlashFiction20#Read

He snatched her book from her hands and took a match to it, dropping the burning book between them.
“Don’t know why you read.”
“Don’t know why I stay.”

— TrellawneyThom (@TrellawneyThom) April 23, 2020

@Writers_Vic#WVFlashFiction20#Measure

The Negroni. So elegant, old-fashioned, yet decidedly hipster cool. Pour a measure of dry gin, vermouth and Campari over ice. Shake well and serve over ice. Garnish with orange peel.

— TrellawneyThom (@TrellawneyThom) April 24, 2020

#WVFlashFic20 @Writers_Vic#Rivet

His thumb circled the rivet on her jeans’ pocket.
‘Why they make jeans with these?’
‘They’re magic buttons,’ she replied.
‘Really?’
‘They magically make you unattractive for asking dumb questions.’

— TrellawneyThom (@TrellawneyThom) April 25, 2020

#WVFlashFic20 @Writers_Vic#Clarity

For clarity’s sake, the lawyer obfuscated the emblematical nuances of the litigious case, ensuring the plaintiff’s unwieldly confession appeared viable to the jurors. He appeared knowledgeable. He’d mastered the bluff.

— TrellawneyThom (@TrellawneyThom) April 26, 2020

@Writers_Vic#WVFlashFiction20#distorted

He loved the song’s distorted bass, the way the reverberation went through his chest, demanding he jump along with the mosh pit’s thrum. Live music made his life worth living.

— TrellawneyThom (@TrellawneyThom) April 27, 2020

@Writers_Vic#WVFlashFiction20#gather

In her ideal life, she would gather cats and hats, rather than men and gin. Cats were far more reliable than men and hats never left you with morning-after tears.

— TrellawneyThom (@TrellawneyThom) April 28, 2020

@Writers_Vic#WVFlashFiction20#fixated

Her room was filled with Barbies and unicorns. She wondered if her mother had her fixated at a gawky eleven. At thirty-five, she wished for the innocence of simpler times.

— TrellawneyThom (@TrellawneyThom) April 28, 2020

#WVFlashFic20 @Writers_Vic#Focus

Quarantine had sapped her energy and diminished her will and desire. She found it hard to focus. Somehow, she rose, showered and ate of a morning, and this was enough.

— TrellawneyThom (@TrellawneyThom) April 30, 2020

Today's song. Brought to you by the 30 Day Song Challenge.

Day 8: A song about drugs or alcohol