Why is it, when I leave a plastic bag on the floor, you must sit on it? And chew it?
Why do you try and guilt me into letting you into the spare room after dark?
Why do randomly give me little bites while I'm watching the telly. They don't hurt, but I'd like to know why you do it.
How do you know when I've rolled over onto my stomach when I'm about to go to sleep?
And how is it that the space between my knees is so comfortable for most of the night?
Why is it you always do a smelly poo just as I'm about to go into an online meeting?
Also, what is so good about my reading chair? Why do you love it so much.
When it comes to breakfast, why do you insist on receiving some of my yoghurt, while sitting on my keyboard, when I want to read my emails first thing in the morning?
In the ensuing eleven hours I made it as far as my local coffee shop to pick up a full-strength coffee and a snot block. I don't keep caffeinated coffee at home.
A lot of work was done.
A run through for tomorrow's training was done with my colleague. We're ready.
At "lunch time" some masons stuff was sorted out. It was nice to talk to my Adelaide compatriot for ten minutes.
The kitchen floor was scrubbed in another ten-minute break - just to get me away from the screen. A clean kitchen floor provides a sense of pride, especially since I hate doing floors.
There was a break mid-afternoon, where the cat gave me a cuddle for around ten minutes.
These are some of the joys of working from home.
Near the end, when my fingers were getting heavier, I made myself pad thai, using up a packet of udon noodles that were sitting in the cupboard, a stray chicken breast and some vegetables that would have died in the crisper.
And when I finally logged off, around 7.15 p.m. I was thrilled that I had Masterchef to look forward to.
Masterchef is the perfect foil for a long day.
Everybody on Masterchef is encouraging.
Those doing the cooking are under-pressure, but you can see they are enjoying it.
You learn stuff. Like how to make Jamie Oliver's Old Mans Chicken - which is really just a chicken substituted in Beef Wellington. It looked yummy, but going from this recipe, Jamie's jzujzed it up a bit.
You watch as these plucky contestants, all of whom appear to be nice people, struggle with their inner demons to put the best plate of food on the table.
And in the end, after the judges judge their efforts, and make nobody feel like an idiot, and even the one who loses the challenge is made to feel good about the effort they put in and is sent off with many hugs and the encouragement to keep going.
It's brilliant to watch a reality show where nobody is sniped at, or made to look a fool, or set up to fail - although some of the things they make them do in the kitchen are insane - but it's all for the contestants' good. People are genuinely good people on this show.
So after a very long, at times frustrating day at work, Masterchef is the great reviver.
I try not to buy from Amazon. But sometimes, it is a necessary evil.
Sometimes you need something quickly.
Sometimes you need something obscure.
Sometimes you have no idea where you're going to find the thing you want in the shops.
And also, if you have Prime Video membership, postage is often free - it's rude not to have the streaming service, just as it's silly not to take advantage of this (Plus Fleabag and The Marvelous Mrs Maisel are on Prime).
I want another day to the weekend as much as I would like a few more hours in the day.
Yesterday, I had meditation. I wanted to make potato salad for the barbeque I was going to. Instead I bought it at Coles.
I wanted to go to sound meditation after meditation on Saturday, but decided against it. It is too much to go from Caulfield, to Brunswick, to home, and then out to Yarraville. I would have liked to have gone to all three events. It would have been good if they were all on different weekends.
Today, during my masons' meeting, I'm told the date of my next meeting. It's a weekend I'm up in Darwin for a music festival. I wanted to go to the march in the city this morning, but there was no way I could do both that, attend a doctor's appointment and go to masons. I attended the rally in spirit. Friends went. My lovely downstairs neighbour went for me.
There's also a conference in Adelaide at the start of September. Once again, I have a feeling I will be in Darwin. Maybe I can wing a flight back for the weekend.
And for my birthday later in the year. Ah, yeah, probably going to be in Darwin. At least the weather is warm and the Darwin Festival will be in full swing.
I'm not complaining. I do like my job and I've very grateful for the opportunities it's providing. I really like the travel, even if it is very tiring.
But it would be good to be able to stretch time and do everything I want to do, not just skim the edges.
Another Saturday night getting the questions out of the way. In my defense, I have been out tonight. Went to a birthday barbeque, but now I know that I'll feel better about doing the questions. It's this or whining about not being able to get oestrogen patches.
1. What's the best thing to inherit other than money
A predisposition to good health? A decent work ethic? Skinny ankles? I've inherited all of these from my mother.
2. What one thing would you most like to happen tomorrow?
This is going to sound awful, but half of me wishes that my masons meeting tomorrow gets cancelled. I could really use a free day, but I am obligated to go to Masons. It's a bit like swimming in cold water - it will be fine when I get there.
3. Who is the person with whom you've been most infatuated?
I go through my petting infatuations from time to time. It was Cary Grant for a time. Clive Owen has a special spot in my heart. Kenneth Branagh another. Other than William Shakespeare and Henry VIII, both of whom I read all around the place about, I'll stick to the petty wonderment and crushes.
4. In what part of the day does time go slowest and fastest?
Time always goes way to fast in the morning and it slows down at night. But after doing a Theta Healing course we've been taught to stretch time. It's a cool thing.
5. Whose thoughts would you most like to read?
I can't answer this. It's one of the great mysteries of life not knowing what people were thinking. At times I'd love to know what my cat is thinking, but then again, the way he looks at me sometimes, I think there might be murder on his mind.
6. Who is the person you'd least like to touch?
Touch in what way? I can't answer this.
7. What is the best quality you inherited from your parents?
Possibly my protestant work ethic and skinny ankles from my Mum. From Dad I got skin that quickly goes brown in the sun and my curls.
8. Who is the friend you most often disagree with?
Funnily enough, Blarney and I have a tendency to agree to disagree on things, and that is okay. We think totally differently about a lot of things.
9. What's the best ritual of your daily life?
Probably that first cup of coffee of the morning. And yes, I know, I drink decaffeinated coffee, but it is still that ritual of making the coffee in my Italian stove pot coffee machine, heating up the almond milk and taking a sip. Bliss.
10. What is the most useful job you've ever had?
I'm not sure any of my jobs find me being useful - but I'm currently working for an energy company writing materials which help people answer the phones at said energy company, which helps keep the lights on. That's a bit useful.
11. In which year of your life did you change the most?
Oh, that would be 1991. I moved to England and grew up really quickly.
12. What's the best thing you've ever gotten for free?
I love my big reading chair. A friend, who was renovating gave it to me after I admired it years ago. I love reading in the chair. Lucifer loves sleeping in it.
13. What is the thing you are best at?
I'm not bad at:
Writing
Being a friend
Keeping fit
Making cookies
Procrastinating
Travelling
14. What was the luckiest moment in your life?
I won two tickets to anywhere in the world about 15 years ago. That was very lucky.
15. What is the single most important thing you have ever learned?
Forgiving and loving with an open heart is a good way to get places in life.
The Play: The Almighty Sometimes by Kendall Feaver
The Company: Melbourne Theatre Company
The Theatre: Southbank Theatre, Southbank
Stars: 4
I have two takeaways from tonight's performance of The Almighty Sometimes by Kendall Feaver. The first is that mental illness is tedious. The second is that the humble choctop has become the new cigarette. I'll get to that later.
The play tells the story of Anna (Max McKenna) and eighteen-year-old girl in a state of flux. Her psychiatrist Vivienne (Louisa Mignone) is about to pass her to an adult's shrink, she's on the brink of a new relationship with Oliver (Karl Richmond) and her Mum, Renee (Nadine Garner) is trying to hold everything together. She's been on this journey with Anna for a number of years, she's seen it all. Anna's mental illness has been her focus for too many years.
And then Anna decides to go off her meds.
I have to compartmentalise this play to review it. I'm not sure I liked it, but I did appreciate it.
On the good side of things, the performances are all very good, particularly Max McKenna, our hapless, unmedicated bi-polar post adolescent, who just wants to feel like herself. Their performance is excellent as Anna cycles through the complex emotions brought on by the disease. Her mother and Oliver can only watch by the sidelines and provide support where they can.
I loved the set, which was made on a rotating frame, on which the cupboards and walls of the family home. It was like the fifth character in the play.
Hannah Goodwin's direction is on point and the action flows well. According to the programme, there are a number of movement and intimacy co-ordinators who have helped shape the play as well.
But Kendall Feaver's play is wordy. Wordy, and at time, just a little same same and Anna and her mother try to get her back on track, with little success. When it comes down to it, mental illness is as tiring as it can be tedious, which anybody who's had a friend or loved one suffer, will know. I will admit to falling asleep for a few minutes in the first act. I fared better in the second, where the action was more enlivening. It was that or the choc top's sugar rush that kept me awake.
Which brings me back to my earlier comment of choctops being the new cigarette. The Southbank theatre's ruling is no food or hot drinks in the auditorium. I was late at interval getting my choctop - a marvelous caramel one, which I had but only a few minutes to eat before returning to my seat.
Me along with about seven others stood at the door like old smokers, bolting our ice creams. There was a sense of solidarity among us. As somebody finished and went inside, we cheered. The usher smiled at us. We were playing by the rules (makes a change from her telling people to finish off their ice cream or throw it in the bin. I have to say, it was a bloody good choc top.
As for the play, yes, it's good. There are all sorts of good things about the play, but when it comes down to it, mental illness is not the most uplifting of subjects, hence my wavering enthusiasm in this review. Mental illness is hard at the best of times. Depending on your experiences, you may love or hate this play. The depictions of mental illness and its consequences rang true. I'm just not sure it makes for an overly entertaining night out.
I remember watching the television show, The Fall Guy, when I was at high school. Lee Majors was Colt Seavers, the stunt man who had a sideline as a bounty hunter. Standard American fare.
Ryan Gosling brings back Colt Seavers as the hapless stuntman, who get embroiled in a bit of tricky situation.
However, gone are the bounty hunter storylines. Instead, Colt Seavers (Ryan Gosling) is a stunt man who comes back to work after a nasty on-set accident. Gone is his budding relationship with Jody Moreno (Emily Blunt) a camera operator who's not getting a shot at directing. In the time it's taken for Colt to recover, she's moved on. As the stunt man for the pretty boy Tom Ryder (Aaron Taylor-Johnson and his marvellous abs), he is now working on Jody's film. Tom's agent, Gail (the inimitable Hannah Waddingham) brings the ailing Colt in to be his stunt man for the film Jody is directing.
And all hell ensues.
I'm not going to say too much about the plot - it's pretty thin on the ground - needless to say, Colt wants to get back with Jody, but before anything happens, he gets framed for murder.
It's not really a film you go to see for the script.
It is, however, very entertaining, and rather funny in places. David Leitch, the director responsible for Deadpool 2 and Bullet Train is no stranger to action, and this brings it in droves. These scenes are great. It's not unrelenting action, but it's very good fun. There is also a dog. I'm still unsure where he fits in, but he's a wonderful addition to the movie.
Another thing which I enjoyed about the film was it was filmed, almost in its entirely, in Sydney. It was great to see the city streets and the harbour being used not only for the scenery, but as a set for a lot of very fun action sequences. In particular, the scenes with the rubbish skip going down George Street were great fun.
The sound track is also fabulous with some excellent 1980's standards from KISS, AC/DC, The Darkness and even Taylor Swift, just to name a few of the artists.
Is this the best film I've seen this year? No. But is it really good fun. maybe a film for date night, something easily consumed and enjoyed? Definitely.
And if anything, it's worth going just for a peak at our new James Bond, Aaron Tayor Johnson's abs. Like hubba hubba...
