As paid employment is proving to be a little elusive at the moment, I've resigned myself to feeling secure in the knowledge that I am supported financially and I'm just getting on with life. Well, I do have enough funds to last for another three or four months, and work will come before that - and it's not that I'm spending all day every day looking for work. I'm doing more than enough to find work - just as I'm enjoying the "me time".
My challenge at this point is accepting that I'm supported by the universe. In this, I feel comforted by tarot readings and other things that have indicated I'm exactly where I need to be. Not being officially employed actually feels really good. I'm very busy, I have a bit of money coming in with tarot, massage, reflexology and other such little jobs. I'm swapping massages for personal training sessions every so often - which has a few more rewards my end (wry smirk - massaging personal trainers has it's benefits)
Yesterday was a bit different. I drove out to Ballarat to a friend's place to energy cleanse her house. Armed with a sage smudge stick, black candles, Tibettan Bells, incence and a few other hocus pocus items, I returned to Melbourne a few hours later and a few dollars better off, content in the knowledge that my client was thrilled with the work. I also came back smelling like a mix of burning herbs, candle grease and labrador. Ah well, the joys of doing witchy things.
But I go some good thinking time to and from Ballarat. And the conclusion I came to - All is okay. All is exactly as it should be. Stop pressing the universe for more - it will come - you're doing the appropriate yards. And you wont get this opportunity to have some me time for hell knows how long.
I also got to decide the following. So rather than bemoaning not having a job, I've put myself on my own project.
All projects need to be named after some Greek or Roman entity. Pandora was a woman who had all the evils of the world in a box - when she opened it all that was left in the box was hope and opportunity. I think this sounds like a very good project name.
I think that's rather relevant. I now have hope and opportunity to get my life back on track - to get the best version of me out of this.This is my time. This is my space. This project is about finding the best me that there is.
Why haven't I done this before, I ask myself.
Well, it sort of comes down to a mix if time, confidence and money. It's the time and confidence I've needed - money's never been too much of an issue. And of course there is hope and opportunity to get this to done at last.
Well, now is time to get going on this project. Like any good project, it needs to be managed, and managed well.
I've mentioned the Michelle Bridges' 12 Week Body Transformation Challenge - well this starts Monday.
This is my Project Management Plan for the next twelve weeks. And what a PMP! Hell, Mish is the Project Director from hell. A really hard task master. In the last few weeks there have been all sorts of pre-project taks to complete.
First up there was kick off - introduce yourself to the others. I'm thankful there's a group of virtual friends who I've known for years through the Biggest Loser Club who are doing this project as well. We're in regular conversations. So I have my posse. I've also thrilled to have my training partners at the gym who are helping me keep on track.
The next task was to look at your excuses for not losing weight. This opened up a minefield. My main reasons for not sticking to these plans - boredom and insecurity. I get bored after a few months of "dieting", then I get complacent and the weight then comes back - albeit a lot slower than in years past and I've kept up a good part of the food and exercise regimes. Now is the time to finish the job. My more insidious excuses are all mental. I tell my self that I have no idea what I will find at the end of the journey. I have no idea what it is to be slim. I have no idea how to be attractive. Well this thinking has to stop - I just have to look at this as an adventure - and I LOVE adventures. We'll work out how to feel pretty inside and out, and what it feels like to be slim on the way. I'm just going to have to build a bridge over those ones.
Task three, Goals. What do I want out of this project? Well the big one for me is to get my BMI out of the obese range into the a little more palatable chubby range. That is currently about seven kilos away. If I could lose 7 kilos in the next twelve weeks I will feel as if I've met a huge goal. I'm not trying to set myself up to fail, but this is an SMART goal. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely. If more gets lost, well so be it. I'll aim for seven kilos.
I also have the goal of running a marathon next year - with the knee injury slowly clearing, and with a lengthy training time, this is doable. I know it's a strange thing to want to do. I wrote about this a few days ago anyway.
Task Four ; Get your gear ready - well, this one hasn't been too bad. I own and use a heart rate monitor religiously. I have good working, reliable scales. I have kitchen scales, an abundance of workout gear, decent trainers. I also have a well bashed gym membership, well know walking/ running tracks available and mates to take along for the ride. That one was an easy task. Done.
Task Five: Get people on board with what you're doing. Well this is done to - with mixed results. Again, my gym buddies and forum mates have been very supportive. Other friends have not been as easy to sway or have been more negative than required. Going around to people's places where you're offered biscuits and chocolate - keeping strong with that is hard. I don't like banging on to friends about this stuff too often - but the key people have been informed.
My one sticking point will be the my Masonic friends. Three months of either not staying for supper or sitting on my hands as a CWA endorse supper is placed in front of you is going to be hard. Having the old ducks telling you to eat something is almost as bad as having your grandmother yell at you.
Task Six: Clear out the crap from the kitchen. Again, this has been an easy one as I've banished the crap ages ago. Apart from the odd jar of jam, a small pot of weight watchers ice cream and few ready meals, my fridge and cupboards are crap free. Thankfully most of the healthy eating stuff has been well instilled - so that's fine.
Task Seven was to diarise the first month of exercise. Again, this was a bit hard. I hate not having freedom. I know I am down to exercise six days a week for an hour a day. I have no problem doing this, just don't tell me when the hell I'm supposed to do it! It will be done. I do three pump classes, a few runs and a stretch class a week - don't nag me - I'll do it. This one pushed a few buttons. Also, as the job situation is likely to change - I'm not willing to commit to an exercise plan weeks in advance - especially to timings. So I know the exercise will be done - just at what time will not be decided until nearer the time.
We were also asked to do monthy benchmarks to consider. There needs to be something each month that you're striving for. I'm still thinking about this one. I know I'm down for the 14 km Run for the Kids in April - bung knee and all I'd like to do this in under two hours. Will have to think about the other months.
The last task has just been handed over. What are your starting stats. Height (167 cms), weight (92 kgs on the nose) Chest, waist, thigh measurements have all been taken. Then the killer. Get a starting photo - preferably taken in your knickers. AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH.
Don't worry - I'm not going to post these photos here - I'm far more compassionate than that. I've roped either Kit or Emm to take the shots. They've seen me in the changerooms of the gym, so there are no nasty surprises. This is about the most confronting job we've been asked to do. Having to look at my semi naked body in a photo - crap. But this project is also about facing fears, and facing fears we will do.
So Project Pandora, filled with hope and opportunity kicks off Monday. Twelve weeks, six exercise sessions a week, around 1200 calories a day.
There will be updates, benchmarks
Maybe I should PMP cleaning my flat...