Monday, June 3, 2013

The Suppository of all Useless Knowledge

Just as one should never go into battle with a Sicilian when death is on the line (Vizzini, The Princess Bride), on should never go into a game of Trivial Pursuit with Pandora when ice cream is on the line.

For I am the Suppository of all Useless Knowledge. With a semi-photographic memory.

These factors make me a gun at Trivial Pursuit.

People shudder when going up against me on Quiz Nights. I know a heap of crap about all sorts of things.

Like a fartlek is Swedish for "speed play.'

That Tristram Shandy was the first novel in English ever written.

One of Shakespeare's most misquoted lines is "Alas, poor Yorrick, I know him Horatio."  It is not, "Alas, poor Yorrick, I knew him well' ! Philostines.!

H, He, Li, Be, B, C, N,O,F, Ne, Na, Mg, Al, Si, P, S, Cl, Ar, K, Ca.... The first twenty elements of the periodic table - thanks Mr Mundy for embedding this useless bit of knowledge in my brain for eternity - loved Matriculation Chemistry.

Chicken don't have teeth.  Badger's willies have a bone. Dogs allegedly see in black and white.

That the head of Burke and Wills have never been found - once they left the Dig Tree and died, their bodies were savaged by dingoes.

William Carlos Williams' poem 'The Red Wheelbarrow" is one of the most studied in the world - because it is short. Second to this one is Donne's, "The Sick Rose', also chosen by students because of it's brevity.

Audrey Hepburn was Belgian.

Barack Obama's middle name is Hussein.... which is sorta strange in an ironic sport of way.

John Howard's middle name is Winston - which is probably the coolest thing about him. He and Stanley Bruce are the only sitting Prime Ministers to be voted out at an election - and a bloody good thing at was too.

I love useless facts.

1 comment:

ozbassplayer said...

I suppose Tony Abbott is now the 'Suppository of all useless knowledge" now, Princess ;)