Thursday, June 5, 2014

Tales of the Second Head

About a month ago I related the joys of going to see the podiatrist.

It seems that I've had to be a little tenacious with the second head that had appeared on my second toe on my left foot. A triple headed doozy of a wart that was just plain annoying.Every night I had to scrape it down with a blade then apply dry ice to the mother. Then it was dressed. The toe had to be bandaged at all times to keep air away from the filthy beast. Once a fortnight I would trot along to the podiatrist who was far more eager with the knife than I was and she did the same.

Last night as she looked at my ailing toe, she looked up and smiled. It appears that the month of stripping and covering and icing the wretched thing has bared fruit. Two of the heads have gone, one to go.

"So, time to get aggressive with the little sucker." she grinned at me.
"What, chop my toe off?"
"No, we're going to use acid tonight. It's three times stronger than the stuff you get from the chemist."

Great, burn my toe off.

So she got to work, dressing, anointted the last devil head with this gelatinous acid, dressing the toe.

"Now keep this on there for two days and keep it dry."

"WHAT! I shower twice a day. I walk to work. I go to the gym."

"You heard me. You're good at following instructions. Two days. Keep it dry."

"How the hell do I keep the bloody thing dry?"

"You'll think of something."

And think of something I did.

Who grew up in the country?! Who learned to be resourceful? Things you can do with a food handling glove and a bit of sticky tape. Though not perfect, it's done the job.

Hopefully when I take this off tomorrow night, the worst of the last head will be gone and I will be nearly wart free.

Then I can tackle the lumps in my my scalp....

And consider that I completed a minute of bondage planks without tears, Bondage planks. Yeah, these.

This is a bondage plank.

I'm 45, from the country and I can do a minute of bondage planks. If I can master bondage planks I can kill a wart or two. So there!


Kath Lockett said...

A toe condom - nice one :)

Jackie K said...

Nice job! When I saw the first photo I thought you were going to wear the whole glove on your foot.

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Pand,