Saturday, June 3, 2017

Two Bad Films

The Zookeeper's Wife - 2.5 Stars

Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Men Tell No Tales  2 Stars.

I've been holding off on writing these reviews as In don't really like writing things about films I don't like. To be honest, neither of these films floated my boat.

So in dot points:

The Zookeeper's Wife

  • Could be known as Schindler's List with Animals
  • You get to watch Jessica Chastain cuddle a lot of baby animals and over act
  • There is a baby camel
  • You get to see Jessica Chastain put on a dodgy Polish accent
  • You get to see a lot of animals fake shot
  • And you get to see Jessica Chastain cuddle more, but less exotic animals and over act
Very disappointing.

Then there is Pirate of the Caribbean - Dead Men Tell No Tales.

My kid brother and I went along on tight arse Tuesday. I had a freebie ticket - and I am glad I used it, because any film this dodgy should only be seen for free.

Okay, the effects are good.

But as a fan of the first and second movies in the franchise, this one really ran out of puff. How and why Geoffrey Rush and Javier Bardem allowed themselves to grace the screen with a script that is holier than the Vatican, I will never know.

Johnny Depp is just a caricature of his former character - just gracing the stage and going through the motions. 

It is said that they started filming this before the script was finished. It shows.

Corny, cliche and basically unfunny, there are some good action scenes - and that is it. They have spent all of their money on the effects at the expense of the story. 

Don't bother seeing it on the big screen. I wouldn't even dodgy download it. It's dire.

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