The Cosmic Arse Kick

 It's been overdue, this cosmic kick up the butt.

The first sign. I contacted my old tutor the other night to say that the book group had chosen her book to read next year for the book group. She was pretty chuffed about this. Then she asked me, "How's the writing going?"

ARGH. 

What do you say? I keep a blog? But am I doing what I love? Not really. 

This is the person who coached me through Short Story class. This is the person who helped me win a short story competition. This is the person who encouraged me to enter short story competitions. 

I feel like an abject failure. I know deep down I'm not, but still. 

I've not got back to her yet. 

(But... I do write every day. I write this shite. My fingers are turning over. But I'm a good story writer when I put my mind to it). 

The second sign - since going out with my friend and mentor last week, her voice has been going round in my mind.

"Shit or get off the pot!"

Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

I was out with a group of the Gunnas for the Pixies concert last week, where some gentle encouragement was given. Her raspy voice is going round in my head. "Pandora, do something your future self with thank you for."

I've made this my mantra - and it's having an effect on me. 

The third sign. Today, I went into the office. Needed to be done. It was the monthly engineering lunch with Phil. And I needed to collar somebody and the only way to do that was in person. 

Anyway, this morning, they were giving out swag. 

I scored a blank notebook and a pen. (And a magnetic phone charger). But it's a nice notebook and pen, as far as corporate swag goes. 

So, the first thing I've done is write on the front page,

"DO SOMETHING YOUR FUTURE SELF WILL THANK YOU FOR."

And I've got some character notes and plot thoughts written down. 

And a couple of ideas for a short story. 

And I've the knowledge that I have five more working days before I have 15 clear days off. 

So maybe this was the cosmic arse kick I needed. 

I will get back to my old tutor. Just let me have this solidify a bit more of the fiction writing. I've got 15 days off starting next Thursday. There is time to do things. 

Today's song: