Retreats are great, even when they are not great.
I'm tired. I was in bed at 10.30 p.m. I got to sleep about 2 a.m. I was up at 6.30 a.m. I woke at 5.45 a.m., and being me, I had my job to do.
The job was to get the fire lit in the dining room.
I'm sure I was a scullery maid in a former life. I love getting the fires going - and on retreat, this is my job. The night before I did some digging around and got the kindling organised. Nobody has newspapers anymore, but there were firelighters and box of matches. It feels a bit like cheating.
But the fire was going well by 6.45 a.m.
The sunrise was spectacular.
There was Morning Glory at 7.30 a.m. where we all congregate and dance in the chapel. The rules are you turn up as you are - don't brush your hair, don't clean your teeth, come in your jim-jams - and dance.
I wasn't feeling it.
After having a bit of a boogie, I left them to it, had a shower, grabbed a coffee and took myself into Apollo Bay to check the tyre pressure on the car. I've got this tyre pressure warning light. I only checked this a month ago, but I had the light screaming at me from Little River. Using the ignorance is bliss defence, I ignored it, only finding out what it was in the early hours when trying to go to sleep, looked it up. (Amazing what you can find out at this time of the morning when you google "Warning dashboard lights on an Mazda CX-3").
Anyway, a quick trip to Apollo Bay, a stop at the servo, the discovery that all of the tyres were sitting at an optimal 32 PSI - a quick trip to the IGA for chocolate and stroopwaffels, and I went back to the monastery.
I've skipped on of the writing sessions. "Pand, write a letter of gratitude to somebody or something," Dev told me.
"Sod that." Was the reply under my breath. I disappeared into my nun hole, the affectionate name for my little bedroom off the chapel. Maggie O'Farrell's The Marriage Portrait had more of a draw,
I've been caffeinated. I've been fed. I've read some cards. I bought a few secondhand clothes.
But I'm tired. I'll be popping a melatonin tonight in the hour before I go to bed. Hopefully that will help. There are some other substances on offer, but I'll go the natural route for the moment. Won't be able to take Stilnox. I'll be drinking tonight.
Anyway, I can't get this song out of my head.
I wonder what the chorus is trying to tell me.
You pull back the curtains
And the sun burns into your eyes
You watch a plane flying
Across a clear blue sky
This is the day, your life will surely change
This is the day, when things fall into place
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