Check out these boobies!
Okay, fun time over. The Blue-Footed Booby is a joy to behold.
Mammograms, on the other hand, are more a necessary evil than something fun. It's wonderful that they help prevent many, many deaths and a lot of heartache.
I'm incredibly grateful that this is a country which believes in cautious preventative medicine. If you're between the ages of 50-75 you're invited to go for a mammogram every two years - or if you have breast cancer in the family, then earlier. It's a free service. You get reminders when the time comes to book yourself in.
Today was Boob Squash Day.
I booked myself in last week when the email came. Today, at lunchtime, I took the tram into town, fronted up at the Peter Mac Imaging office on St Andrews Place, walked in, gave my name and was seen immediately.
After explaining to the radiographer than I don't like being touched, but if she went in slowly with a flat hand and told me what to do, we'd be fine. She was wonderful.
It was over in five minutes.
I'm told that it's less of an ordeal for women with larger breasts, but I reckon it's going to be uncomfortable for everybody.
This was my fourth round of imaging. I got a call back last time, which thankfully turned out to be nothing. I remember thinking in the two weeks it took to get the appointment for the enhanced imaging that I was going to lose my hair, and everybody would see the multitude of scars in my scalp. Irrational thinking, as for every 100 women called back, only one or two will need to go for treatment. A very kind friend reminded me that the odds were in my favour.
But now the screening is done, hopefully for the next two years. The results will be through in a couple of weeks.
I'm diligent in doing my breast checks. The mammograms are just the icing on the cake. For the minor discomfort, I got myself a vanilla slice before returning to work.
And now, it's a matter of getting on with things and hoping the results are clear.
My overwhelming feeling is that of gratitude. For the small amount of discomfort, there is peace of mind and the knowledge that this screening has saved the lives of more and more of my friends.
If you're putting this screening off, don't. It's nothing to be scared of. It's free. And think of the number of women you know who have, or are being treated for, or who are now clear of breast cancer. You owe it to them as much as you owe it to yourself.
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