Are you queer?

 I get into some interesting conversations. 

Tonight was no different. I'd done a quick supermarket run to get Ben's beer. Who's Ben? Ben is one of the catering team at the retreat. I walk into the dining room at lunch and dinner, Ben, without asking, puts a beer in my hand. I've not asked for this, but who's to say no when you're given a beer? In return, I bring beer to Ben at the start of the retreat so I'm not drinking his. 

Anyway, I got the beer, and some other necessities, then did the bad thing and went into the book shop. 

Book shops are evil places. Whoever put the book shop next to the supermarket needs to be severely dealt with, but that too is another battle for another day

I'm well known in there. 

I took my purchase up to the counter. 

As I often do, I struck up a conversation with the girl behind the desk, as I often do. 

"So, what are you reading?" 

It sounds like a pickup line. 

"Me. Well, on my kindle I've trying to get into Jacqueline Harpman's I Who Have Never Known Men. On paper, there's the new Steve Toltz, which I'm struggling with, and on audio, for my sins, I'm getting into a John Boyne, even if it isn't quite politically correct."

"I've always wanted to read him."

"He's fantastic. But he's a TERF. I have to separate that his work is amazing from the fact that he doesn't align with my beliefs."

TERF you ask? According to Google, a definition for it is as follows: 

"TERF stands for Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist. It refers to a specific group of feminists who believe that womanhood is strictly defined by biological sex and therefore exclude transgender women from women's spaces, rights, and the broader feminist movement."

We got into a bit of a discussion about this. We both agreed we'd rather face a trans woman in the loos than a bloke. That we couldn't see what the issue was with sport, with maybe a look at a case-by-case basis at the elite levels - seriously let kids play sport and be done with it. 

I said that I loved Boyne's work. That A Ladder to the Sky was fantastic and I'm thoroughly enjoying The Hearts Invisible Furies. I find him hilarious. I also love how well he draws queer characters. Boyne, himself, is gay, which is why the TERF thing is a bit surprising. The way he deals with sexuality is an absolute treat. 

And then again, we read George Orwelll, knowing full well he was a rapey, thieving bastard. Evelyn Waugh was allegedly a cunt. There are plenty of horrid writers out there who we read for the love of their books, but not for them. 

And don't get me started on JK Rowling...

"Anyway, I love the writing of John Boyne, even if I'm not fond of some of his viewpoints."

"And that's fair. I'll get him out of the library - that way he doesn't get a cent, but I can see what he writes."

She had a very visible Pride badge on her lanyard. It is Pride month, after all. 

"Are you queer?" she asked me. 

I was a bit floored by that. Having been asked this a few months ago, it tripped me up then too.

"Am I queer? I'm not sure how to answer that. Umm, maybe,"

This is where I defaulted to the last time I was asked this question. Unlike the last time where I was with a trusted friend and I landed on the fact that I'm probably a pansexual but have never explored it - or maybe I'm sapiosexual, as nothing turns me on like a good mind, you're not going to go into your sexual identity in the local book shop.

"You know," I told her," I might be queer. If I am, that's great. If I'm a boring old CIS gendered heterosexual, that's fine too. But one thing I am, 100% of the time, is an ally."

She loved that. 

She gave me a free book. 

I left happy. 

Today's song: