MAFS Episodes 1&2

I'll let you in on a dirty, little, grubby secret. My one reality program, the one that I watch religiously, the one that I tape, the one that I'll stream before work if I miss it - is Married at First Sight.

Yep. I'm a MAFS fan. This semi-intellectual, Shakespeare and Pixies loving, literature reading and writing gin snob, who really doesn't do reality television, is into that most trashy of trashy shows, MAFS. I don't do any other reality television with such gusto - okay, I used to like Masterchef - particularly the old style English one with Lloyd Grossman. I'll watch one of those bake off shows if it's on. But that's it. I don't watch the Kardashians. I have no idea what a Van Der Pump is. My Kitchen Rules just appears to be a bitchfest.

But I watch MAFS.

Religiously.

It's like so much make up, so many tattoos, so many injectables and boob jobs all in one place. It's fascinating.



I've been trying to work out why I love MAFS for the last seven years. The first series was good - and it was an experiment and it was unscripted and you watched the five couples as they tried to make a go of things. Of the first series, none of the couples are still together, though one did give it a good go, having a child in the process.

As time has gone on MAFS has got more scripted. There is the weekly dinner party, which seems to be a reason for the couples to get plastered and slag off at each other.

Then there are the couples which leave in the first few days, realising that the experts are about as credible as Donald Trump's skin colour.

I mean, who puts a shy virgin with a woman, though caring and sweet, who is also bisexual and into a bit of a gang bang now and then (Not judging her - judging the 'experts' for the match). How good is it to watch somebody lose their virginity on the telly during prime time?

Then you get those who come back. Coming in for a second chance. Right... (though saying that, poor John who came back last year seemed like a reasonable bloke and the ditzy yoga teacher who was disappointed he wasn't Samoan was never going be happy with a chain smoking salesman from the West of Melbourne).




For a few weeks of the year, you get to look at other people's (read stylist's) dodgy fashion choices (Gold jackets anybody? Go on, you know you want to - just like you did in 1987)



(or more 80's camo fashion... yeah, great style)


So here we are, two episodes in for the 2020 series of MAFS.

What have the experts done now?

There's poor, rather damaged Poppy. Mother of twin two-year-old boys. Relates the story of how her husband and an accident and fell into a co-worker's vagina. Using humour to mask pain - always a great move - nobody can see through that. She wants somebody to be there for her.

So they match her with Luke - the Fly In, Fly Out worker - who appears to be a bit dull, but a nice fellow - which is the main thing. They're both parents. They'll understand each other. They could have matched her with a complete arse, so this might be one to watch - like poor Jo last year.



Then there was Cathy, who's very pretty, a Kiwi who's giving this a try after having her last two partners cheat on her. She's developed a thick skin because of this. She's been matched with Ryan, a tradie who likes to party. They both seem okay. A little bit boring, but you can only wish them the best. They both seem like good people.

The second episode had the first lesbian wedding on MAFS. One rather scary* type, Amanda, damaged from her parent's non-acceptance lingering in the background, and Tash, an equally scary*, tattoo covered woman who appears a bit softer than the other. They make a lovely couple - look really good together, but I can see what could happen as two scary people are put together in this pressure cooker.

(*By scary I mean they both have very strong personalities)

Oh, then last but not least, Natasha and Mikey. Both are from the North Shore of Sydney. Both are probably members of the Young Liberals. Both are 'Alphas'. Both are into their work. She appears to be Cruella DeVille's slightly less evil sister. He seems a bit like the dopey second son running Mummy and Daddy's old age home tax rort (actually he seems like a genuinely nice bloke - his relationship with his disabled aunt has been highlighted). She comes across as genuine as her fake tan. He seems a bit lost. I'll give half odds they don't last past the honeymoon.

Are these real people?

It astounds me that such emotionally fragile people will put themselves up for this. And there are lot of emotionally fragile people on the show. It also has an unfortunate way of highlighting some of the not so good things about Australian society - toxic masculinity being the main one. People wanting the fairy tale being the other. And we won't talk about some of the VERY dodgy fashion choices.

I don't know. MAFS is my guilty pleasure. I can't talk, never having been in a long term relationship and have no idea what it is to be married, let alone get to the process of exposing all of my filthy emotional laundry to the country. I know that I'm a big marshmallow under my tough exterior. I would never been brave (or stupid enough) to put myself what these people are doing. As Sartre once said, hell is other people. And some of these people are hellish (read the entitled millennials)

But I am a hopeless romantic. And deep down, I wish the lot of them well.



Today's song:

NQR

I'm a bit NQR today - not quite right. I'm not bad. I'm not sick. I'm just not feeling overly brilliant today. I'm just a bit headachy and feeling off colour. No energy, my throat is a bit sore. Nothing that some panadol and a lie down won't contain. but it means things aren't getting done. I've got a toilet and hallway to paint out, a CV to go over and a flat to clean - but I don 't feel guilty. I just feel NQR.

It's a hangover from the ghastly weather over the weekend. After spending in a day in air conditioning up in Sydney I think this is what started it all up. It will go away. Have a quiet one. Drink lots of water. Take the panadol. Read a book. Fun.

Or maybe this malaise is just a result of the political situation here at here at the moment. Thankfully Barnaby Joyce is not the leader of the Nationals. We've had him as the deputy Prime Minister. Once was enough. I worry about the Nationals. I get that we need to hear the voice of the country, but must they be represented by a mob of rorting tossers who seem hellbent on wrecking the joint. Like putting David Littleproud in charge of water. He's incompetent and leading the country down an awful path.

Barnaby Joyce is just a tool. There is plenty of evidence to show this.

But the rest of them appear to be rorting arsewipes.

Up to par with many other Libs, many of whom seem to be berks like this.

Maybe it's because I'm feeling NQR. Maybe it's because everything seems so nuts at the moment. Maybe I'm getting my head around the fact I'm getting paid monthly from March (ARGH - I've been on weekly or fortnightly pay for the last ten years. I have to learn how to budget.

I'm going back to the couch.

Today's Song:

Best Self Card: Meaningful Jobs

Best Self Card: In your peer group, who do you look to that has the most meaningful job. What could you learn from them?

Ergh, this is a bit of a loaded question. Most of the people I know are in technology or banking, but I do have a few friends who have the most weird and wonderful jobs.

I look to my mate Bria. She's an ethicist with the United Nations, working on policy around the data collection and other technology aspects where children are involved. She's a brilliant woman. Very funny. She's moving to New York soon from Italy, where she's been based for years. What can I learn from her? Perseverence. She fought long and hard to get this role. She persevered through her PhD, did a lot of contracts and finally got this role - doing so much good for so many people.

I look to Gaynor, who's a primary school teacher (and to all the teachers out there) How must if feel to be shaping the youth of the future. I can learn a lot of patience and fortitude. All teachers need this. I have no idea how teachers do this.

My friend Kaz is a librarian. She helps people to learn, gets knowledge into people's head, works with the community and lets information get out to the public. Librarians are a very undervalued resource - like teachers. I can learn a lot about grace from Kaz.

Then there's Mariah, who's been a social worker for as long as I can remember working in the public sector. First of all, I've no idea hell she's worked for the government for so long, but how she has been helping the less fortunate of the country for so many years. From Mariah, I could learn a lot about compassion under fire - because really, she has seen it all - and I would never be able to cope.

I wonder what it would be like to have a job which was really meaningful. I like my jobs, for the most part, but I can't see that what I do on a day to day basis gives anything back to humanity.

Maybe when I get my novel out, I'll do more service to humanity. At the moment, I'm just glad I'm doing something which doesn't piss off too many people. Well in my day job.

The holistic healer part of me is of a bit more meaning, but we don't talk about that very often.


Today's song:

Another Food Meme

Back in Sydney. it's horrible hot and horrible humid, just as I left it in Melbourne yesterday. I'm hiding out in the air conditioning in the Qantas lounge for a few hours before my flight. It's better waiting it out here in the cool - with the free food and drink, as opposed to nearly faint from the perspiration outside. Thankfully Melbourne is in for a cooler week.

Questions, as always, provided and sourced by Bev at Sunday Stealing.

How do you like your eggs?

If I'm making them myself, poached on toast, with tomato sauce. If I'm out, I'm very fond of Eggs Atlantic (with smoked salmon, wilted spinach and hollandaise) or Eggs Benedict. Depends on the place and what I feel like. 

How do you take your coffee/tea:

Yes, but without caffeine. So my standard coffee order is an almond decaf latte.

If you're making me a cup of normal black tea, I take it with a spot of milk - no sugar.

 I drink a lot of herbal tea and cold water tisanes too. In my fridge at the moment is Turkish Apple Tea. It's divine. 

Favorite breakfast foods:

Eggs. I do cereal during the week as its easy.

Peanut butter: smooth or crunchy?

Crunchy. Is there any other kind?

What kind of dressing on your salad?

This is a bit of an American question I think. Salad dressings go with the salad. If you're talking boring lettuce, tomato etc, etc, then balsamic vinegar and a bit of olive oil. But different salads required different dressings. Like you wouldn't use coleslaw dressing on it, you need decent mayonnaise. Or some of the wonderful Middle Eastern salads about the place need specialised dressings - lemon, tahini, oil, garlic... I like to make my own dressings for these. 

Coke or Pepsi?

When I drank it, it was Coke all the way (Well Coke Zero / Sugar Free). Not a fan of Pepsi. As it's caffeinated, I haven't drank it in 18 months. I don't miss it. 

You feel like cooking. What do you make?

I don't feel like doing proper cooking very often, only making a song and dance of things when I have people over. I love baking and make a stellar Lemon Polenta cake. My chocolate cakes, made from scratch (no packets here) are really good too. 

 

You’re feeling lazy. What do you make?

My standards are chicken and salads / vegetables, fish and salad, steak or stir fries. Easy stuff. 

In a lazy, I want something to eat, but I can't be bothererd, then its cheese on toast with a smattering of Worcestershire sauce. Sort of a poor man's Welsh Rarebit. 

You’re feeling really lazy. What kind of pizza do you order?

I very rarely get in pizza. When I do it's a meat lovers or Mexican hot. Thin crust please. From the Italian joint down the road, even better. 

Is there a food you refuse to eat?

I won't say I refuse to eat things, but on my prefer not to list are bananas and lasagne. Lasagne as you don't know what's in it. Bananas just have too many variables. 

I'm also funny about beany things. If I see there are chick peas or broad beans in something, I'll tend to give it a miss. Really have to be in the mood, or making it myself. I make great hummus. 

Favorite fruit / vegetable:

I love most berries, mangos and lychees. Lychees are awesome. 

Favorite junk food:

If I want a junk meal it's a toss up between KFC or Hungry Jacks (also known as Burger King) Nothing beats a Whopper with Cheese, with extra pickle. 

For snacky things, I love cheezels and burger rings - again, they're Australian things. 

Favorite between meal snack:

I'm a big fan of nuts - almonds, walnuts, cashews. I always have them on hand. 

Do you have any weird food habits:

Other than smothering my eggs in tomato sauce (ketchup)? I like my barbequed onions fairly crispy. Not really. I'm known for telling everybody who will listen that I don't like banana. 

You’re on a diet. What food(s) do you fill up on?

Green vegetables and lean protein. 

How spicy do you order Indian/Thai?

Fairly hot. Not locals hot, but I like my food to have a bit of a kick to it. 

The perfect nightcap?

Other than a gin and tonic? I'm known for making vegemite toast late in the evening. Vegemite is great stuff, but it's all about the butter/vegemite ratio. 

Today's Song:

Novel Notes

The world appears to be going to hell in a hand basket. Everywhere you look around is dreadful news. Trump pulling a ban on landmines on top of the farce that is the impeachment proceedings. There's Brexit. And don't get me started on the Australian Federal Government, which is as incompetent as it is corrupt.

So I've been avoiding the news. I'm also in Sydney. I'm holed up in a lovely hotel room - an old favourite. A place which has been rebranded, and this is not a bad thing, though the wonderful toiletries they used to have are no longer here - thankfully, the new ones are just as nice, but still. I loved this place for the way it smelled - the white tea scent was glorious. That's gone, along with the dodgy mural and the water feature in the lobby.

But I have to my writing to do today. Blogging daily gives me some focus. It's also good for my writing as I'm making myself write for an hour a day - and as soon as I start school I'll have to be writing more.

Which gets me onto the topic of the novel I'll be working on at school. And I start to get rather scared.

I was explaining to my mate over lunch just what an undertaking writing a novel really is. It's not something that you just sit down and write you have things to think about.

Things like:

• Who's your main character going to be?
• What are their arcs? (i.e. what do they learn along the way?)
• What is the story?
• What are the themes?
• What voice do you use?
• What is the driving force of the novel?
• What is the setting like?
• Does the setting lend itself to the characters?
• What about minor characters? (Oh I wish I could use Bede in this one - I love writing about Bede)
• What are the plot points that drive the story? 
•  How are you going to write this?

And these are the big questions, then there are all sorts of decisions and revisions that a minute, and an attempt to write then, will reverse (Sorry TS Eliot).

So I'm trying to start thinking about this stuff for the dystopian novel, which has all sorts of other things to consider like: 

• Where is it set?
• What conditions are changing?
• What is the government like and why is it dystopian?
• What rights are being curtailed / amended?
• How does the protagonist react to this?
• How do they get around the restrictions?
• What is the way forward?
• What is the environment like in the dystopian land?
• What are the consequences of going against the powers that be?

This is also only a short list of things to consider.

And now I'm getting nervous.

Why am I going to do this again?    (Yeah, yeah, I know I love it - but this is what it is like inside a writer's head.

It's not fun. I'm grabbing a gin and tonic and going to have a bath now. 

Today's Song:

January Check Up - February Goals

Now for the January update and time to set the February goals.

This goal setting has been really good for me. You have a solid period of time to get things done and a deadline. I like deadlines. they work for me. And I've kicked a few goals.

So, here were my January goals and how I went with them.

1) Find a new job. 

Done. I start as a technical writer at one of the energy companies on 17 February. References are in, docs have been sighted. I'm just waiting for the paper contract, but I got a verbal offer this morning. So there's two more weeks of this sabbatical. I'm pleased that I've got a year's fixed term contract. This means, for the first time in ten years, holiday pay and sick pay. Yes, there's a bit of a financial hit, but I'm thankful for the security, and the fact I won't have to be at home over January.

2) Get the will done. 

Nearly done. I've spoken to the laywer. The details are in. I just have to get the physical thing and sign it - and I need to chase the lawyer to get this done. It's on the list for Monday.

3) Paint out the kitchen. 

Done. Finished painting the kitchen earlier this week. I did both the ceiling and the walls. It looks sooooo much better.

4) Tidy the spare room. 

Ah, not done. I've had a bit of a chuck out, but Jay and I are going to do a stall at Camberwell Market on the first week of April - I have a heap of her stuff in there ready to go to market. I'll have to try a bit more.

5) Transfer everything on this laptop over onto the new laptop I bought at the end of June.

Nearly done. I just have to find the initiative to configure Outlook with my bigpond mail - last time this took 5 hours on the phone to Telstra and a trip out to Reservoir where I paid a friend's husband a bottle of gin to sort it out. After the last time I did this, I'm busy girding my loins. It should be easy. It's not. The rest is fine. I can see it costing me another bottle of gin to get this sorted.m

I've also kept up with my promise to read, write and exercise for an hour a day. I've done well on this too. My star calendar is looking good. I get a star for each hour of writing, reading and exercising I do in a day. I'm quite proud of myself. I've written for an hour a day every day. It's been a good month.

And now for my February Goals:

1) Make note of everything I spend

I've had no real money coming in for the last two months. I'm not in a bad place, but I really need to buckle down and work out where money is going, save some money and work out what I'm spending.  Time to crack open the spreadsheets and work out where the money is going - and start budgeting.  I may be making less than what I was, but knowing how much is coming in each week / month / fortnight will make this okay.

2) Paint out the toilet and hallway

Another painting job - much smaller than the kitchen. I have two weeks to complete this. I have the paint. Just have to work out how to get to the fiddly bits in the loo.

3) Start mapping out that bloody novel, at last, ready for school in March

I need to get more clarity on the novel project I'll be working on in March. I have to get into novel mode.

4) Go swimming once a week. 

I love swimming. I need to do more of this. There is an olympic size pool nearby. I'm going to meet a friend at the beach wehn I'm in Adelaide next week. But I need to get in water. It's good for me.

5) Go gluten, dairy and sugar free (again)

About 18 months ago, under the supervision of a naturopath, I went gluten, dairy, sugar, caffeine and alcohol free for a couple of months. I've kept off the caffeine completely since then. I'm not a big drinker. But I have let the sugar, gluten and dairy slip. My house is now dairy and gluten free. Sugar is always a hard one for me as I have a pathological sweet tooth. But it's time to get the diet back right on track. I can do it. It suits me. (I'll also not be completely militant when I go out - but at home and where I can, this will be done.) I feel better for it. I'm not a coeliac or gluten intolerant, nor lactose intolerant, but I do run better with these.

Strangely, today in the supermarket, I was considering buying some consolation ice cream. A last gasp treat before going ice cream free for a month. I ran into my doctor as I was having a look. We smiled at each other. No ice cream for me. I bought the ingredients for chai pops instead. That and smooshed up lychees will have to do me for the next month.

6) See the following movies (along with the list of classics I never got to)

• Parasite
• Marriage Story
• 1917

Today's song:

Sanctuary

It's just a bloody hot afternoon
In bloody Melbourne town,
The trams are out of action,
The lawns are going brown,
The weather just is quite horrid
But it could be bloody worse
It could be bloody humid
Which makes me bloody terse.

But when it's bloody hot outside
And you can't get bloody home,
You have to seek some shelter
As it's too hot outside to roam.
You do the air conditioning dance
From one arcade to another.
You search out trees and awnings,
But that can be a bother.

But for me when it is bloody hot
I take my sanctuary
In the bloody library reading room
To save looking like a cranberry.
It's cool and calm and very staid,
And people sit and cram.
But it's better than getting bloody heat stroke,
Waiting for the bloody tram.

---oOo---

I felt like poeting today.

It's bloody hot outside.

Yes, I am sitting here in the State Library Reading room while I wait for the planned industrial action for the trams to be over. The trams should be working again in an hour or so, but I had appointments today in town. A coffee with my old pimp and lunch with Raj.

Due to the timings, I caught an Uber into down. Had a lovely fellow drive me. We talked about India, what I had found in the North, how things are different in the South. His spotlessly clean Civic had a laughing Buddha on the dash along with a small shrine to Shiva and a couple of other gods. They were small and sweet. Nice fellow. We had a laugh. I've just checked and I still have my 4.8 passenger rating so I've been deemed a good passenger.

But then, after the coffee meeting and the lunch, it was a matter of how to get home. Of course, there is always the train - but that means a 15 minute walk in the heat home at the end. No thank you. So I planned ahead. Brought in my travel laptop with me and I've come here:

There is a grandeur to this building. I love the reading room. I tend to get a bit done when I come here - okay today it's the blog, but when I go back to school I could see myself coming here to write for a few hours before going home. It's that or ordering a jail cell at Melbourne Jail - the old one on Russell Street. They have cells where writers can go to write during the day.

But I am starting work on 10 February. I have better things to do than sit around in the old jail, with no air conditioning, in February, tapping away.

Just for the moment, I'll sit here in the reading room and read my book. Currently reading Peter Carey's The True History of the Kelly Gang. Although I can see the merit of the book, see the achievement, I get why he won the Booker for it - but I'm still slightly underwhelmed. It is wrong to no really adore Australian beloved authors? (I'm not that fond of Kate Grenville either... is this a hanging offence? And don't get me started on Matthew Reilly and Cathy Moriarty... there is soooo much better out there).

Actually I won't hang around. It's 3 pm, the trams will be back and there are a couple of Mormon blokes sitting next to me chatting. They don't smell that fresh. This is the silent area. Hmph. I don't feel like being asked about joining the Church of Latter Day Saints today.

The one thing I don't like about the library - it's near my favourite bubble tea place, where they do rose and lychee soda. It's bad for your but it's glorious. I don't need bubble tea, as much as I love the stuff.

So I'll be off.

Today's song: (in honour of the tram drivers. It may be a pain, but I support their cause.)