I’m safely ensconced in my parent’s granny flat. I’m fed and watered. The cat has basically forgiven me. I’ve got the heater on as it is a bit cold here in Myponga. I’ve unpacked my little suitcase. We picked up some almond milk on the way home from dinner in Victor Harbor.
But here is what I have learned on my day on the road on the 800 kilometre journey back to Adelaide.
1) Planners of rural service stations have absolutely no foresight.
Finding a loo on the road can be difficult. Having taken the Western Highway across to Adelaide on an annual basis I know where to find these havens of necessity. Today’s trip had me stopping at the Ballan Services, Horsham KFC, the Bordertown Services and Tailem Bend.
The services in Victoria near Melbourne are fine. Plenty of toilets. All is fine. On the South Australian side of the border, other than you can get Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee and Fru Chocs, the loo situation is awful. There is a new service station on the left as you come into Bordertown. There is over thirty petrol pumps. But there are two – yes, two, unisex stalls. Two loos. Misguided. There are these new OTR service stations all over South Australia – with next to no facilities. Considering the traffic on these roads you think they’ve put a few more loos in. Had to stand around hopping for five minutes. Thankfully, the facilities were clean.
2) Chiko Rolls
I used to love chiko rolls. They are an item from my childhood. Nobody can tell you definitively what is in one, but there is something about them which are sort of gross, yet sort of yummy. Tip for young players: if considering acquiring a chiko roll, get it from a reputable chippy and watch them fry it fresh. Do not get one out of the bain marie at the servo in Tailem Bend. Bain maries are bad.
3) Travelling with a cat
Avoid if possible. Thankfully mine, once in the car, is a good boy. It’s the getting him in and out of the car which is the issue. I was used as a scratching post this morning after he escaped from the cage when I was trying to transfer him from his carrier into the cage in the back of the car. 20 minutes of running around the car park at home trying to catch him. Lots of swearing, coercing and the like. The thing is, he's never been outside. He doesn't know what outside is. When I finally caught him, he went full Tasmanian Devil.
Thankfully, he had the hump with me and slept the bulk of the way home, waking hourly to ask, 'Are we there yet?'. He's now all sweetness and light and asleep in an armchair. I think he's sorry about the scratch on my chin. My left arm looks like I'm a teenager with big issues in need of some counselling.
4) Audiobooks
Audiobooks are a fantastic way to keep you company on long car trips when you're by yourself.
Yes, I do some necessary telephoning on the way. I had a chat with Jonella while I was crossing the Wimmera, and another with Blarney as I was on the freeway out of Adelaide.
The rest of the trip I had on an audiobook. I finished Anna McGahan's Immaculate - which won the Vogel Award this year. McGahan is a Brisbane actress of some repute - the book was fantastic. Seriously thought-provoking and inventively written.
The next book up was Richard Flanagan's Question 7. I'm in two minds about this one. I like Richard Flanagan as an author, I love the ideas in this gem of a non-fiction book, but he's narrated his own book. Anna McGahan did this too, but as a trained actress, the narration was flawless. Richard Flanagan's voice is fine at best, soporific at worst. Not what you want on a long car trip. I have about 20 minutes of it left to run, so that will be knocked off on tomorrow's trip to town.
5) Car Games
What's that Dead Thing on the Road, Car Cricket and Spotto are not as fun when you are on your own.
I'm tired now. It's been a long day. That will do.
Let's see if it's cold enough for the cat to sleep with me.
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