I'm a middle-aged woman. I'm used to being invisible.
But I made a discovery today.
I'm used to not being looked at. Used to being ignored by shop assistants. Used to being overlooked by all sorts of people - and generally, I don't mind that, unless you're wanting service in a timely manner.
Well, today I got noticed by men. Lots of men.
I wasn't waling around naked. I wasn't roaming around dressed up to the nines. I didn't have my chest bared. I haven't lost 30 kilograms overnight.
I was noticed by all sorts of men. Young ones, older ones, teenagers kids.
It was a strange feeling. Really strange. Especially because I'm generally invisible.
Today, I learned, if you want men of all ages to notice you.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
I've been saying the serenity prayer a lot lately. Mostly, this is I try to avoid the US election commentary as the world wait for a comprehensive result. And this is being done because Trump's behaviour isn't something to be tolerated as he booms around like a toddler who's drunk far too much red cordial and hasn't had his afternoon sleep.
If he wins, he's going to be unbearable. If he loses, odds on, he's going to be even worse.
Ah well, whatever happens, may he end and many of his cronies end up in prison and may the world become a bit nicer again.
Regardless, I've been avoiding this shit show.
And I'm very thankful I live in a country with compulsory voting and a robust, indepentent and national electoral commisions (Thank god for the AEC and Antony Greene).
The other thing I'm finding myself saying a lot over the last few days is an old Polish proverb.
Not my circus. Not my monkeys.
Because when it all comes down to this, I have absolutely no influence over what is happening in America, I don't vote over there, it's not my country of residence, nor somewhere I ever would want to live on a full time basis (though it's been nice to visit in on the few occasions I've been there)
And using these strategies, I've managed to stay reasonably sane for the last few days.
Though I've just flicked over to the New York Times website to see that Biden has pulled ahead in Georgia... and I'm hoping that now Mercury is out of retrograde, some common sense will prevail.
Even if 70 million people voted for this goon. Or one of my team mates today declared she could see why people would vote for him - after all, better the devil you know.
I got out for lunch today. I had some errands to do, so I popped out for 45 minutes.
Two good things happened on my errand run.
As always, it's the little things that make me happy, and these were little things.
The first little thing was I bought my lunch.
I went to a cafe on Church Street, Richmond. It's called Chimmy's.
Chimmy's is a bit of an institution in Richmond. It used to be on Bridge Road. It used to do a huge trade in breakfast and coffee. Their bread was legendary. It stocked bread made at the Abbotsford Convent, a legendary bakery which makes some of the best sourdough in town. Then it moved onto Church Street - smaller premises, but still great coffee and baked goods.
They do rolls there. So I got myself a half sourdough bagette with roast beef, seedy mustard, onion relish, tomato, aioli and some greens - toasted. Oh, and a sourdough fruit bun, which was heated and toasted later for afternoon tea.
And it was bloody magnificent.
The other good thing which happened was on the way back to the car from the bank, I passed a little Vietnamese sewing shop. They had some masks for sale in the window. Lots of masks in various styles and colours - all triple layered and well sized. And I saw my new mask. They way I see it, we're going to be wearing these for months, may as well have a few lying around the place.
I went in and bought one.
And it is GREAT!
And yes, I've been wearing this to meetings and singing, 'nananananananana' all afternoon, but I'm Batman and I'm allowed.
It's coming into that time of year again - the time where my book group chooses the books for next year. One of the group asked me for some recommendations.
Never ask a bibliophile, what to read. It is a dangerous thing. The list will be long and involved and fun.
Also, we have rules in our book group for book choosing. They are:
The book must be fiction - no memoir, non-fiction, autobiography.
Must be easily obtainable in libraries, bookshops, online
Should be of a literary or very good popular fiction quality - so Liane Moriarty (Big Little Lies) has begrudgingly scraped in, but Stephenie Meyers and EL James would not be accepted.
Preferably under 500 pages
Sometimes it's good to throw in a classic.
It's always fun to see what people come up with. We got in our first nomination on the weekend. We hold the vote in December, in circumstances far more fun and less contentious than the American elections. To be honest, having everybody champion two books and then have them voted on is a great system - and we've barely had a universally hated book in the years we've been running the show like this. You may not love what we're reading for the month, but as we've democratically voted for the books, you know you'll like something along the line. And the 'Lit Heads' and the 'Popularists' are pretty well balanced out. We can work around preferences - one or two members don't like War content - I'm not that fond of crime. But generally, it all works well.
Anyway, as none of us have been able to get into a book shop lately, I was asked by a member to share my long list for my book choices.
Here it is. There's some popular stuff, some high end literature, some older books and some new releases and a few classics thrown in for good measure. There are a few books on my wish list which I know will never happen.
But here you go:
Below Deck by Sarah Hardcastle – Australian author, under 300 pages, brilliantly written, thought provoking, nautically themed.
The Mother Fault by Kate Mildenhall – Australian author, under 300 pages, brilliantly written, near future dystopian, very good popular fiction. Thought provoking.
The Dictionary of Lost Words by Pip Williams – Australian author, under 400 pages, historical fiction, lots to talk about, feminist take on the OED.
Exploded View by Carrie Tiffany – Nominated for the Miles Franklin, topical, Australian author, very short (under 200 pages) gripping, amazing writing
Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf – Classic, short (under 200 pages) always wanted to read Woolf as an adult
All Our Shimmering Skies by Trent Dalton – Under 400 pages, by the author of Boy Swallows Universe, Australian content.
Honeybee by Craig Silvey – Under 400 pages, Australian content, but the author of Jasper Jones.
A Lonely Girl is a Dangerous Thing by Jessie Tu – Australian Author, under 300 page, great write ups.
The Yield by Tara June Winch – Australian Aboriginal content, won the Stella this year, under 350 pages
Washington Square by Henry James – Classic, about 200 pages, should read it one day
The English Patient – by Michael Ondaatje – Classic, always meant to read it, 250 pages
Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders – 300 pages, hard read but engrossing, incredible and amazing. Won the Booker a few years back
Gilgamesh by Joan London – 200 pages, Australian content, a few years old but easily obtainable.
A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy O’Toole – American Writer, classic, around 200 pages, easily obtainable, strange and weird and have always wanted to read it again as an adult.
Lanny by Max Porter – English writer, very strange, under 200 pages, incredible stuff though
The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz – Won the Pulitzer a few years ago, incredible writing, challenging read, good fun in many ways – set in the Dominican Republic – and you learn a lot about this. Family dynamics and Dominican politics (which are as involved as they are fun) – has fantastic footnotes.
The Dutch House by Anne Patchett – American Writer, tried and tested author, not too long.
Allegra in Three Parts by Suzanne Daniel – Australian fare, not too long, easily read, family dynamics
The Hate You Give by Angie Thomas – Young Adult (but exceptional Young Adult) not too long, topical.
The Story of Lucy Gault by William Trevor – Irish Writer, shortlisted for the booker, not too long.
The Gathering by Anne Enright – Irish Writer, topical, a few years old but great writing. Not too long.
The Blackwater Lightship by Colm Toibin – Irish Writer, great book, family dynamics, not too long – Toibin is great.
Infinite Splendours by Sofie Laguna - Tested Australian Writer (The Eye of the Sheep and The Choke), under 300 pages, new out and she's just amazing.
The Living Sea of Waking Dreams by Richard Flanagan - well, it's Flanagan.... what more do I need to say. New release.
It's Horse Race Day. Mandatory day off for all Victorians. It's also known as the Melbourne Cup Holiday - first Tuesday in November. It's bloody ridiculous. In my humble opinion.
In the past, when I was a day-rate contractor, I rather resented the day, as it meant my pay packet would be out a couple of hundred dollars for the week. Currently, as I'm on a fixed term contract, it doesn't bother me as much. And work was great this year, giving the Melbourne Office a blanket day in lieu yesterday - so this has been a four day weekend.
But other than the personal financial repercussions of horse race day, it's not a day which sits well with me Never has. Never will.
I've never been to a horse race. To be frank, I find the whole premise of sending sentient animals around a track til their lungs bleed, whipping them all the way, giving the poor horse half a chance of ending up in a knackery as a cruel activity of parchochial means.
Juice Media puts it frankly:
It's a day which glorifies gambling. I'll own up to putting a couple of dollars into the office sweep over the years, but that's as involved as I get with this. Absolute minimum participation.
I'll front up to a barbeque on the day, normally as a means to catch up with friends. Will I watch the race - no - why would I? It's not something I agree with - I don't see the point.
It's also a day which talks up drinking. There's some pretty nasty statistics out there about how Horse Race day is also a day of heighted domestic violence, drunkeness, hospital admissions, car accident and the like. Like why would you want to get on board with that?
Okay, Horse Race Day is just not for me. Am I saying ban it? No. But like a lot of things which people don't agree with on an ethical level - things like abortion and assisted suicide - just because I don't agree with horse racing it doesn't mean I'm going to stop people from participating.
In the case of Horse Race Day, I've never seen the point of it and it's never sat well with me.
But it won't stop me from heading over to my bubble buddy's place for a barbeque lunch.
The one good thing about today - odds on, Horse Race day often has crappy weather - blowing a gale, raining - just terrible. Well, it's 29 outside at the moment, sunny, with a breeze. It feels quite nice knowing the one year that NOBODY is going to be trackside, getting munted in the car park, puking in the rose bushes as Flemington. It's a pleasant irony.
We have a day off for a Horse Race on Tuesday. Won't that be fun. The first Tuesday of November, Melbourne gets the day off for the Melbourne Cup. It's just as daft as having a day off before the football grandfinal, which was held outside of the state, with two Victorian teams. It's all a bit surreal at the moment - but at least the shops are open, you can have a socially distanced meal in a restaurant and as of this morning, we had no new cases and no deaths from COVID. We call these days 'Donut Days' - so great it is to see the two circles of the zeros on the Department of Health and Human Services media links. Of this last fact, we here in the state of Victoria, feel like we're winning. It's been a hard road - but it looks like we have this contained.
As for my American friends, on Tuesday, may the odds ever be in your favour.
1. What has been your favorite part of the year so far.
January was pretty good. I had the month off and there was no COVID-19 to worry about.
2. Have you started Christmas shopping?
Hell, no! I don't even know what Christmas will look like this year.
3. Do you like your handwriting?
Not really - it's chicken scratchings. My cursive is slightly nicer than my printed writing.
4. Song you could hear over and over and over again.
This:
5. A favorite quote.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson
6. Last dream you remember
I had a dream last night which was a bit disturbing. I was in a lift (elavator) sitting on a toilet in that lift (elavator). I couldn't dare to get off the toilet as people got in and out of the lift.
7. Most expensive object you want to buy right now.
There is a small part of me that would like to change up my car. But I love my car and I don't need to do this.
8. Describe your eldest family member.
My Auntie Marg is 92 - she's my Mum's sister. She's awesome - a little frail, lives in a nursing home in Canberra, but she is one of the loveliest people I know. She's always been one of my favourite people.
9. What has your weather been like?
Here in Melbourne it's noticably getting warmer. Daytime temperatures have been between 16-25 degrees and varying between sunny or overcast. (62-77 in the old language). It's been a bit windy. Otherwise it's just fairly normal Spring weather.
10. Do you enjoy your job?
For the most part. I'm good at it and it pays the bills.
11. What is your favorite everyday item?
My bed. It's very comfortable and I share it with my cat.
12. Are you currently obsessed with any TV show?
I'm currently going back over The West Wing, trying to tell myself that there is some honour in politics. it's a nice dream. I also can't wait for the second season of Virgin River, the back eight episodes of Lucifer and I can't wait for the next installment of The Crown.
13. Book you’d like to read before the year ends.
There are a few:
Trent Dalton's All Our Shimmering Skies
Sally Rooney's Conversations with Friends
Lucy Ellman's Ducks, Newburyport
And I want to make a bit of headway into Ulysses - the James Joyce tome. It's only been sitting by my bed for ten years.
14. Describe Kindness.
Putting others up there on an equal footing as yourself. Demonstrating that the world is a good place. Demonstrating a good and benevolent disposition.
15. Describe your favorite candy in great detail.
Candy - oh you mean lollies. I'm a FruChoc girl - mainly because I'm from South Australia - they peach and apricot balls smothered in chocolate. They're really morish. Friends say they're an acquired taste, but I think they are pretty awesome.
