That's it. No more. I'm sick of all this bloody death, destruction and tragedy.
So far this year:
My favorite aunt had an accident, lost an eye, was blinded and is now brain damaged - she's being sent off to live until her end of days in a nursing home. What's left of her brain is off with the pixies so at least she's unaware of what is going on, but it looks like no chance of recovery or rehabillitation.
I've watched as friends have nursed sick and maimed parents - thankfully in Georgie's case, her father is making a solid and speedy recovery. Others are just coming to terms with what is going on, great, tragic and lets wait and see.
Then there was Flora's sister passing after a brief, awful illness. That one rocked me to the core.
Since I've been off work I've had to watch the telly while there has been the awful, voyeristic news coverage of the Queensland Floods, Cyclone Yasi, the Christchurch earthquake and the tragedy in Japan. Then, we can't forget the crises in Egypt and Libya -and now Syria isn't looking too stable.
The world's gone mad!
Stupid thing - the news that's upset me most. Two of my favorite furry friends are no longer with us.
Glen Waverley told me at lunch on Thursday that his one-eyed furry mate, Juultje, or Julie as she was known to me, was not in a good state but that things were hopeful. Calling on Saturday to check in, he told me that she had to go to cat heaven that morning - things had got worse - it was the merciful thing to do.
Juul had a rather blessed life. Two loving humans to dote on her every whim, a sister, Beatje (or Betty as she's known to me) who kept an eye on her. She had a good life - and her nine years were spent being loved and happy. My heart goes out to Glen Waverley and Merijn - it's very sad.
Then Popeye called this evening. He lost his dog a few weeks ago - an aging Australian Terrier with a big personality - so I wasn't expecting bad news.
Unfortunately Miffy, or Princess Hephzibah Jonquil Hortensia Murgatroyd-Ross as she is known to regular readers, fell foul of a vehicle this morning. High speed rubber poisoning is what it's known as around my neck of the woods. Most would just call it getting run over.
Alas, Miffy is no more.
Right, so I'm ordering the universe - no more. I'm over all this death and destruction and heartache - just effing stop it. My friends are nice people. They've done nothing wrong. LEAVE THEM ALONE!
And while you're at it, find me a proper job please. I've done nothing wrong either. I'm somewhat over interviews. My limitless charm is becoming stretched.
So, what am I going to to do about this all? I'm going to grab my visiting furry house demon - Maow Maow - and go to bed now and listen to some Lily Allen and Madness. The cat will sleep behind my knees and I will be lulled of to sleep by some mutant saxaphones and dulcet Cockney tones singing of begrudging blow jobs. Perfect.
Times like this, a bit of inappropriate music is in order.