A house in the next street is having a party. There is the thrum of doof doof music. The party lights are illuminating the street. I'm not in the mood for this.
This morning we had meditation. Other than commiting the terrible sin of being late, thanks to a laptop requiring rebooting, we then had a meditation on the sephirot of Gevurah. I've been going to meditation for over 15 years. We've been doing the same meditations for this time - Kabbalah meditations, which cycle through over the years, so we won't repeat the meditation for another two years or so.
Anyway, in today's meditation, we met the Assessors of Maat. This comes straight from the Egyptian Book of the Dead, where under the eye of the goddess Maat, we meet the 42 assessors, who assess our lives to see if we are allowed into heaven. You have to answer the questions truthfully. Theses are morality questions. Have you blasphemed, been an adulterer, have you been a glutton, have you killed or maimed. Fairly standard stuff, although these questions are there to trip you up and play on your conscience.
And then there is the last question. The question which trips me up every time. The question which cancels everything out and when Maat gets out her scales, reaches into your heart to bring out your essence and weigh against a feather, the scales will balance.
The question is "Is there anybody alive who is glad that you were born."
Hand on heart, I don't know how to answer that question.
The best I get is a "I hope so." I like to think the answer is yes.
But it's been playing on my mind all day. Which is what it's supposed to do.
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