We live on this parochial island out in the south of the Pacific.
We’re a weird mob, or so said John O’Grady/Nino Culotta whose book did very well, which looked at our strange set of people. And we are strange. We have our traditions – think ham sandwiches on the beach at Christmas, or street cricket. We have our little oddities which make us charming including many of our well-known food stuffs. Vegemite and Fairy Bread anybody? And certainly not together. We sort of speak English, but our slang makes a lot of what we say uninterpretable to others.
Yes, we are a strange group.
Our Government does strange things too – like giving out honours on Australia Day and the Sovereign’s Birthday.
A little bit of digging and you find out that these honours have only been going for 50 years, the highest honour being that of the Companion of the Order of Australia – or AC. There’s also an AO (Officer of the Order of Australia), the AM (Member of the Order of Australia) and the OAM (Order of Australia Medals). I’m not sure how you get one of these, other than you tend to get nominated and it goes through some sort of panel, and you get your name in the paper. I have an aunt and uncle who have independently received an OAM for services to nursing and medicine. They were wonderful, community minded people. It’s a source of pride for the family.
But imagine my surprise this morning (okay, it was late last night, I found this out on the plane up to Darwin, thanks to Qantas wifi) to find out that bloody Scott Morrison was receiving the highest honour around. The AC.
What the actual…?
It’s a thing called optics.
According to The Age, it says:
Scott John MORRISON
For eminent service to the people and Parliament of Australia, particularly as Prime Minister, to notable contributions to global engagement, to leadership of the national COVID-19 response, to economic initiatives, and to national security enhancements, especially through leadership of Australia's contribution to AUKUS.
Let me dissect this. This is the bloke who pretty much handed over the COVID response to the State Premiers. The guy who didn’t order the vaccines. Who went on holiday as the country burned because he “Didn’t hold a hose.” This is the fellow who instigated Robodebt, killing and emotionally maiming thousands.
I put into ChatGPT the prompt “Tell me about Scott Morrison’s greatest stuff ups” and it came back with this:
Scott Morrison, former Prime Minister of Australia (2018–2022), had a number of controversies and missteps during his time in office that attracted public and media criticism. Here are some of the most notable ones:
1. Hawaii Holiday During Bushfires (2019)
What happened: Morrison took a family vacation to Hawaii during one of Australia’s worst bushfire seasons.
Why it was controversial: His absence was seen as tone-deaf and uncaring while large parts of the country were burning, lives were being lost, and emergency services were stretched thin.
Public reaction: Widespread backlash, with the phrase “I don’t hold a hose, mate” becoming symbolic of his perceived lack of leadership.
2. Vaccine Rollout Delays During COVID-19
What happened: Australia’s initial COVID-19 vaccine rollout was slow and poorly communicated.
Why it was controversial: Morrison said it was “not a race,” which many saw as dismissive while people waited for vaccines and lockdowns continued.
Impact: It hurt public confidence in the government’s handling of the pandemic and led to prolonged lockdowns in states like Victoria and New South Wales.
3. Secret Ministerial Appointments (2020–2021)
What happened: It was revealed post-tenure that Morrison had secretly sworn himself into multiple ministerial roles (including health, finance, and resources) without informing the public or even his own ministers.
Why it was controversial: Seen as an unprecedented breach of democratic norms and transparency.
Outcome: The Solicitor-General found it “undermined responsible government.” Parliament later passed legislation to prevent a repeat.
4. Handling of Sexual Assault Allegations in Parliament (2021)
What happened: Brittany Higgins alleged she was raped in a minister’s office in Parliament House.
Why it was controversial: The government’s response was widely viewed as inadequate and politically self-protective.
Public reaction: Sparked national protests and debates over the treatment of women in politics and workplace safety.
5. “That’s Not My Job” Leadership Style
Context: Morrison was frequently criticised for deflecting responsibility, famously using phrases like “It’s not my job” when asked about major issues (e.g., vaccine procurement, aged care failures).
Impact: Created a public image of being disengaged and unaccountable.
6. Sports Rorts & Pork-Barrelling Scandals
What happened: Government funds were allegedly allocated to marginal electorates in a politically motivated manner rather than based on merit.
Why it was controversial: Accusations of corruption and misuse of taxpayer money.
Auditor-General findings: Found clear bias in grant allocations.
7. Handling of French Submarine Deal Cancellation (2021)
What happened: Morrison scrapped a $90 billion submarine deal with France in favour of the AUKUS pact with the US and UK.
Why it was controversial: France was blindsided and furious, temporarily recalling its ambassador to Australia.
Diplomatic impact: Damaged Australia’s relationship with a key European partner.
I'm sure if I fed it a few more prompts it would have come up with a lot more.
Do you really want to give this guy a Sovereign’s Birthday honour? Seriously?
I mean, if he had any sort of honour about him, he’d not accept the award. The only Prime Minister to not accept to date has been Paul Keating, stating it was honour enough to be Australia’s Prime Minister. A truer man of honour.
The same can’t be said for Scott Morrison.
I think this lessens the impact of these Honours. Looking at the other AC recipents. Philip Adams, JM Coetszee, Baz Luhrmann and Catherine Martin. A lot of people who've done amazing work in community and scientific fields.
If I were them, I'd be seriously miffed that that fucknuckle from the Shire, Scotty from Marketing, had been bestowed with the same honour.
I'm not sure what the committee who hands out these awards were thinking. They're probably Liberal Party stooges, paid off, once again (like they were probably paid off when Tony Abbott brought back knighthood - another own goal).
This really fails the pub test.
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