It’s been another long day, and an even longer one is to be had tomorrow. Therefore, I believe that doing a quick Dev card might be the way to go. I’m writing this while I’m lying on the couch dictating this into my phone, because I am that tired. As I said, it's been a day.
How do you feel when you don't write?
One of the reasons I do this blog is that it forces me to write every day. And even when I don’t have much of an idea about what I will write, I still write, because not writing feels very alien to me. Writing doesn't have the sensation like a runner as high, but I know that when I don’t write I feel empty. This is my way of making sense of the world.
You've probably worked out from this my mind is full of crap and it needs investigating.
How do you feel when you do write?
Are you quite writing to activities like swimming or walking or going to the gym? It might take a little bit to get you where you’re going, to find your pace, but once you’re in the middle of it, you feel great. And you don’t even have to write that well just as I am not the perfect gym participant, nor walker, nor swimmer. But it makes me feel good when I’m doing it.
It feels like I am participating in my vocation.
What prevents you from writing?
Work and procrastination. There’s also a big sense of me being an impostor. Lots of writers have imposter syndrome. Something else that’s come out of my AUDHD Diagnosis is rejection sensitivity. Neurodiverse people arrive often highly sensitive to rejection leading them to either being triggered or into spiral. It’s a vicious cycle. You write something. You sent it out into the world. You think people are going to hate it. You wonder why you do it. And it goes round and round and round. I am getting better at ignoring these demons, but they do shout louder than those rancid next-door neighbours who need an AVO.
What gets you writing?
Everything from sheer will power, to a lightning bolt inspiration, to a word that gets stuck in my head, to a song lyric, to something like spot of the tram, to something my cat is done, to news articles,… Inspiration could be found everywhere and you just have to enjoy it when you get it.
Or I pick up a Dev card.
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