MAFS broke my heart last night. It doesn't do that very often, but last night, my heart cracked. I'm also very mad at the producers. I can't believe they let this happen. And sure, this is one of the most manipulative shows on television, but how could they do that.
A bit of context. If you're ever watched Love, Actually there is this creepy scene where Andrew Lincoln ambushes his friend's wife with queue cards. Seriously, not romantic. Not even sweet. Just creepy.
So why do the producers get into this lovely woman's head that it would be a good idea to do this and ask her "husband" of ten days to kiss her like he means it. Make her feel something.
Bleargh.
I mean, there is making yourself vulnerable and there's making yourself the topic of work kitchen conversation (we don't have water coolers as a rule in Australia - maybe our equivalent would be the Billy tap).
I mean, the absolute chutzpah she must have had to stand there, blindfolded, and ask this rather gormless bloke for a kiss. Only then, to be rejected. I felt this within every cell in my body.
Maybe it's because I relate to this woman. Gorgeous, voluptuous, knows her own mind, intelligent, a seemingly happy soul, who has been stuck in situationships for decades. She's all there. He's not.
The whole thing, for me, was so disappointing. Some of it was the visceral feeling that came from her humiliation. That the producers let this happen. And that the gormless bloke couldn't step up. (Though looking at it, I do get some of where he was coming from - and they've started to patch things up.)
I also understand what it's like when you want somebody to kiss you properly, and they don't. Or won't. I get the frustration. The loss of power. The feeling of being unwanted. The feeling of unrequited desires. The feeling of not being seen or heard. The feeling of being unworthy. The list can go on ad infinitum.
Yes, when somebody doesn't kiss you the way you want them to, all of this comes out in your psyche.
So yeah. Rachel, MAFS bride extraordinaire, I am gobsmacked by your bravery as much as I am furious with the producers. You've touched a nerve with many. You are deserving of that great love. Your "groom" is probably not him, even though tonight's episode showed some improvements. I'm also aware of the slim pickings on the dating apps. It's a swamp out there.
Yet is it ever a good idea to ask a man for favours like this? Unless you're wanting to be in another famous British rom com, most of me thinks you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
P.S. My tried and tested pick-up line back in the day was a much more direct approach. It had humour, which meant if you were laughed at, you could pretend you're not let down and get on with whatever you were doing. "Fancy a shag?" seems far less intimate than asking for a proper kiss. It's a pity things have come to this.
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