Friday, October 5, 2012

Blog-tober - Songs I NEVER Want to Hear Again

Friday is list day.

Friday is a good day for a list.

Today's list stems from the underbelly of musical wonders - those songs you never, ever want to hear again, ever, if you possibly could.

I've run these songs over a couple of my workmates and there is some common ground here. Noses were screwed up, eyes rolled and faces were made. Some other songs came up in the mix, but they weren't universally hated like things one. There's also a couple of my personal favourites here too, just for good measure. Songs that make me want to run a mile when I hear them.
So here is my pick for songs that should be seconded to Room 101 for eternity - never to be seen again.

Meatloaf - You took the words right out of my mouth (or anything on the Bat out of Hell album)

For the long term readers of this blog, you will be aware of the job I had where they played Fogey FM over the tannoy daily. It was awful. Work and music shouldn't mix.

My Meatloaf story is somewhat similar but it goes back to 1989. Fresh out of university, the only job I could get was working in the sub-basement of John Martin's department store in Adelaide reconciling stock against invoices and putting price stickers on things. It was so boring - just dreadful. In the space next to the cage in which I worked (yep - it was a chicken wire cage - two floors underground - just groovy!) there was the section of the warehouse reserved from hosiery. The girl who worked there, not under the jurisdiction of our draconian manager, played "Bat out of Hell" end to end, every day for about two years. No kidding.
I know every word of that album.
And I never want to hear it again. Ever.
It reminds me of a time when I was bullied, under-employed, miserable, bored and a job in which I was stuck with no way out. I don't need to go back there.

Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On

Why would you ever go to a to a film when you know the ending? Why would you ever go to a film knowing this was the them tune. Truly abysmal. Next.

That Gangnam Style song

Overplayed and gets stuck in your head. One day, like "Turning Japanese" somebody will explain to be what this is all about. In the "Can't dance, can't sing" category of tunes, it's all over Australian telly at the moment. Daft.

Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You

Before we had Celine, we had Whitney. Bless her soul, she had a lovely voice. But this got overplayed for fifteen years. 
Fortunately, Celine Dion doesn't have a known drug habit and will be around for a few more years so we won't have to hear it regularly  - like we hear this shocker every time Whitney Houston's name is invoked.

The Dolly Parton version is superior, anyway.

LMFAO - Sexy and I Know It

Overplayed - and this gets votes for the rancid video - which makes Pinochet giggle every time he sees it. There is a reason they're called privates.
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle....

Black Eyed Peas - My Humps

I don't mind the Black Eyed Peas - but this is dire. Blah. Drivel. They should know better.

4 Non-Blondes - What's Up

I liked this song - but it played for a year in my office in London - and I can't think about it without thinking about randy back office Essex Boys with sovereign rings trying to sing along. Not a great time of my life.

Problem is, everybody thinks they can sing this song - but nobody can.
Am I missing anything?

Suggestions? Omissions? Anything I should give another chance?

1 comment:

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Pand,

I agree with every one - EXCEPT ...

Meat Loaf - Bat Out Of Hell.

A classic album with classic songs!

Celine Dion should never sing a song again - awful awful awful drivel!