Dear Mummy (you bitch),
I've decided that if you can't beat 'em, join em.
The hurdy-gurdy people don't quite know what to do with me, so they left me to it. I thought if I could make a nuisance of myself, they might send me back to you.
I've taken to sitting in the he-hurdy-gurdy man's chair. I like to mark my territory.
Just like I sit on your work chair at all times of the day and night.
He he.
This morning, just to make my presence known, I went in to see them at six-o-clock to let them know my food bowl was empty. I don't even do that with you - there's no point. You just try to give me a cuddle and I don't like that.
Maybe if I'm annoying enough they'll send me home.
When are you coming home?
But so you know, I do quite like it here. The hurdy-gurdy people and looking after me well, and unlike you, they don't try to pick me up.
You could learn a thing or two from them.
I will still find some ways to pay you back when you come to collect me.
Lots of love,
Lucifer
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