Monday, August 14, 2023

On the Edge of Armageddon

Your mission, if you wish to accept it – find oestrogen patches in Mainland Australia at the present time.

They say that there is no shortage when it comes to medication in Australia. That is utter bullshit. 

Talking to my doctor when I was updating my prescriptions the other week, she spoke of medicines being out of stock. Some common antibiotics being one of these medicines in short supply. Some diabetes medicines are hard to come by. 

The one that is getting me at the moment is Australia's lack of is oestrogen patches.

I can hear a couple of giggles, but this is not a laughing matter. Menopause is not a laughing matter. It's common. It's very variable. At worst, it can be fucking unpleasant. Probably this shortage is made worse by the fact that no man has ever gone through menopause, so because they can’t mansplain it, it doesn’t exist.

Thankfully, I have a doctor and gynaecologist who listen to me. Some of the things I encounter, when I’m not wearing my patches include:

  • Hot flushes
  • Night sweats
  • Mood swings
  • Itchy skin, particularly in the nether regions
  • Dryness of the parts down there
  • Anxiety and paranoia
  • Bladder leakage
  • Malaise
  • Hair growing in places women don’t want hair.

Yes, it’s absolutely crap, and it's even more crap when you can't get the stuff which stops all of this from happening. 

Even worse when you're working out of Darwin, and it's hot, and you get even hotter, life is not worth living. 

Before I left Melbourne, I tried to get my prescription filled. Alas, after visiting five chemists, all of different chains, all I could get my hands on were some baby strength patches which I have on hand for breakthrough sweats. I could put all four on to make up one week of the prescription. 

Coming up here to Darwin, out walking with a colleague at lunchtime, I stopped in at a chemist. I got my script off my phone, had the screen scanned and said that I was looking for something that was rarer than the Holy Grail, rocking horse poo and hen's teeth combined. 

The lovely chemist looked at me, said "Oh, Darl... let me check." She came back a minute later. She didn't have any, but their sister branch had some. One problem, they had some in another brand - not the one nominated on my script. (You know when the chemist asks if you'll take generic medicine - I didn't have a generic script.)

So, I walked down the road, to the other chemist shop, which was thankfully next to Woolies, where I also needed to go. I talked to the chemist. Yes, she had the patches, no she couldn't dispense them, even though common sense should prevail. I'd need to get a new script. 

I asked if she would put the two boxes she had on hold until lunchtime the following day - I'd see what I could do. She did this for me. 

Back in the office, I tried getting hold of my doctor. I could see her in three weeks if I wanted to wait. 

I rang the practice in Melbourne I go to when I have a cold or stomachache or some other minor complaint and asked if I could get a telehealth appointment that afternoon. There were three doctors available. Two male doctors and a female doctor. I asked to see the woman. Nothing rankles men like talking about menopause. 

Thankfully, she was great. She did all the due diligence. She understood the predicament and reissued my script for the generic patches. 

She did ask how would I cope if I couldn't get these meds. "Life would not be worth living," was my reply. 

A few minutes later, $70 out of pocket, the prescription was on my phone. Half an hour later I took at tea break and ran down to the chemist and walked away with two month's supply of the drug that gives me a decent quality of life.

What the world does not realise is that there are thousands of women who are affected by the shortage of this medication. Women who are hot, and sweaty, and grumpy, and itchy, and teary, and leaking, and on the verge of a murderous rage at would make Vlad the Impaler look like a parish vicar.

There may be a spate of men being murdered if they don't sort this out soon. 

Take a woman's oestrogen patches away at your own peril.

Today's song:




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