Shrink Homework

 I was given this homework assignment from the shrink three weeks ago, and now, I'm after a lot of rumination, I'm ready to write out the assignment. Also, as I don't have access to a printer, nor can I read my own handwriting on a bad day, it's easier to put this out there online. I can show my shrink the link. 

Simples. 

The assignment - what is in my toolbox to help me dial down the anxiety. 

This may seem like a strange assignment, but it's a necessary one. 

So here we go.

1) The noise cancelling earplugs. 

I'm triggered by noise. I know this. When I'm in noisy environments, be it Pump Class, or the office, or in a busy pub - whatever it may be, slip in these little life savers an have the noise dialed down by 20 dB. They work a treat and keep the anxiety at bay. I think I might have to get another pair of them so I can have them to hand. You need them on you to use them. 

2) Where possible, go for a short walk / remove yourself from the cause of anxiety.

Getting away from what's ramping you up is never a bad thing. Once you're feeling the hackles rise, move away - and move. A walk is a great way to turn things around. 

3) The hand-to-hand trick.

This is a good one for immediate dialing down. Get a ball, a wad of paper, something that fits in your hand. Pass the ball from hand to hand at the mid-point in front of your sternum. Move the ball out to your side, pass the ball to the other hand, and move it out to the other side. Do this for 30 or so seconds. Lok at your anxiety. Has it dialed down? Probably. Passing the ball from left to right and back makes your brain go from left-brain to right-brain and back again, putting you in a different place. Try it. it works. 

4) Acknowledge what is going on

First way to treat a problem is to acknowledge it's there. Have a chat with the anxiety. Ask it why it is there. Work out what has triggered it. Is it rational? Is it reasonable? Can you do anything about it? A lot of the time, this will help dial things down.

5) Self-soothe

I have my ribbon - I'm not afraid to use it. Just having it my pocket can be of assistance. Some people have worry beads. I have a piece of satin ribbon to run through my fingers. It's a neurodiversity thing. Don't have to have a big deal made of it - it keeps my anxiety at bay. 

6) Say no

You don't have to say yes to everything. If you're not feeling it - don't (And of course, sometimes you can't say no, but this is there at times when you can). 

7) State your needs

Oh, this can be a hard one, but it's so good. Articulating what it is you need from other people. For me, this is particularly relevant for touch. Case in point. When I went for those breast scans a few months ago - the time where I stated that I needed to be touched firmly, letting me know in advance where they were touching me, as opposed to being grabbed and positioned by the radiographer - totally different experience. The former - I was fine. The latter left me triggered for hours. 

Looking back over my life, it makes me look at my aversion to partner dancing, intimate touch, being ticklish, my hatred of crowds - you name it. There may be a reason I'm like this. I feel somewhat validated. 

It's not just touch. I have to learn to voice my needs. After 55 years of suppressing this, it's going to be hard. 

8) Affirmations

This is a privileged white woman manifesting thing, but I find they do work. Set the intention - watch it happen. I have a mantra for work, "It's going to be a good and productive day." Saying this a few times before work sets the intention - and it appears to work. "I'm made of teflon, no shit sticks to me" is another. "I am worthy." Set your intention and go for it. It works for getting things done. 

For anxiety. "This too shall pass," and "I am safe," are good mantras. 

There is a great power in words. 

9) Breathe.

When in doubt, breathe, and count. It was in Ted Lasso. When your angry, count to ten before you do anything. Then check in on yourself. If you're still angry, do it again. Continue until the anger has died down. It works for anxiety too. 

I'll probably think of a few more before I go see the shrink on Wednesday. 

Today's song: