Who's idea was it that I go internet dating?
Oh, yeah. It was mine.
Was it a bad idea. No.
Did everything go well? Yes.
Do I want anything more for this person. Umm, no. Happy to catch up as friends. And that is okay. But that's it
We met in a bookshop and went for a coffee and chatted for two hours.
Tick.
On paper, there is a lot going for him. He's neat and tidy. Tick. Very intelligent. Tick. Has some niche interests. Well so do I. Tick. Appears to have some friends. Tick. Has a similar political outlook to my own. Tick. (I could never go out with anybody more than a small L Liberal - and they are becoming few and far between, and even then, that might come to blows, as friends don't let friends vote Liberal.)
So, it went well? It did.
But... I know, you're waiting for the but.
He's being clingy, and it's a complete turn off.
I spent the afternoon with my book group, thankful for something to do.
I was greeted with a text first thing in the morning. Would I like to go for a walk in the morning.
Ah, no. It's Sunday. I have stuff on.
Would I be up for a chat later.
Umm, no, I have a lot on today - I told him about the barbeque we were having for book group - and how I was making a cheesecake. No thanks.
I got a text while I was over at book group.
And whether it's insecurity, or love bombing or heaven knows what, it's all a bit much.
I've been clear about my boundaries. If I'm busy, I'm busy. Please don't contact me during working hours. (He's between jobs at the moment, and I expect boredom may a reason he's been in contact so much). Then again, if I say I'm going to be free after 8 p.m, I'm a bit unnerved when he calls at 8.03 p.m.
Sorry, he's just a bit too keen.
And I'm looking at myself. I've been on my own all of my life. I do make time for people. I live a busy life. And I need a LOT of time to myself. Classic introvert and a writer.
So, when somebody tries to encroach on my time, I get a bit miffed.
As for what I'm going to do about this. First up, I'll be reiterating my boundaries. I know he's going to suggest we meet up again in the week - and it's going to be a hard no. With training, my Punjabi kid brother's birthday, a play, a blood donation, a mason's meeting and I want a night to myself.
And if he keeps bombing me with texts and calls?
Cut him off and block him.
I've already decided I don't want anything more than friendship. Maybe I should pull the band aid off sooner rather than later.
I'm proud of myself for coming to this decision quickly, and without angst.
You gotta do you, and this one doesn't quite fit right.
No comments:
Post a Comment