Dev Memoir Card: What is something you were once embarrassed about, but now take pride in.
Here we go.
I have no shame about this.
I am 56-years-old and I still suck my thumb - and cart around a security ribbon.
And this is more than okay.
The story goes that I didn't suck my thumb until I was about ten-months-old, when my parents went to the snow and left me with my Aunt and Uncle on their farm in Keith with my five cousins.
Please know that I'm still in contact with all of these cousins and nothing happened other than one of them took me to school for show and tell. The family still talk about this.
But legend goes that while my folks were away, I snaffled the lining of my uncle's hat and started rubbing my nose with it and sucking my thumb. And I've never really stopped.
And sure, I only do it at home, and I more need the ribbon, rather than the thumb in the mouth, as having the ribbon is a bit like a set of rosaries or worry beads. Having something in my hand keeps me settled. I can feel my blood pressure dropping when I pick up the ribbon.
I've since learned that it's a form of stimming. (Reminder to myself to contact that shrink again to get that neurodiversity diagnosis.)
Carting around a ribbon and sucking my thumb when I'm stressed is not the worst thing in the world. I don't do it when I'm out, or at work, but it instantly calms me down.
It's cheaper and easier than Prozac to administer.
It keeps the anxiety at bay.
And if I'm really honest, I'm very proud of the fact that I've been managing this low-grade anxiety from when I was ten months old and have managed to keep it at a reasonable level, without drugs (but with some help from some pretty good therapists over the years.
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