Back in my day, a facemask was a home-grown affair. You'd mash up something - oats, avocado, banana, egg white, honey... you name it, it goes on your face. You put the goop on your face and sit around watching the telly for about half an hour. While you were doing this, somebody would invariably come to the door, and you have to approach them looking like the creature from the black lagoon.
It was a messy, smelly affair. Did it hurt your skin? Probably not. Did it help your skin? Probably not.
The nearest I've got to this recently, the old-time experience, is at a place I get a facial around once a year. It's a lovely salon in Camberwell. Been going there for years. But one of the things Emme does is a full on, mixed-up mask - often with setting clay which makes you feel a bit like you're getting buried alive. It has smelled like hay and chaff in the past.
In these new times, when people don't have things like oatmeal or honey at home, and mashing avocado on your face is too expensive and a waste of piece of fruit and who can find eggs in the supermarket - you need to find another way of 'pampering' yourself.
Bring in the tissue mask.
You can buy them at the supermarket.
They are infused with all of this stuff that didn't exist 40 years ago - hyaluronic acid, retinol, collagen, fruit extracts.
You bung this on your face, wait 20 minutes and allegedly it turns you from a pumpkin into a princess.
Of course, somebody will come to the door. Or want to talk to you online with the camera on. Or the cat gets scared.
And once you get the mask off, does it do any good?
I'm still not sure, but it's a regular ritual I like to do.
It's a treat.
Even if you look stupid.
It's a good thing to do while watching MAFS.
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