I've just come out of class and my head is full and I have to be up at the crack of dawn to meet a friend at the Botanical Gardens for our twice weekly walks.
So here are some notes from the Dev class.
And ideas use a notebook - this blog is my notebook.Writing every day is good practice.
Topic one - for one minute: Love (What does my character love)
Faith loves life. Just life, warts and all, without any pretention that she is doing it well and how badly she fucks up at it. She loves dogs and cats. More than anything else in the world.
Topic Two - two minutes: What does my character hate:
Faith hates that she has to take responsibility for ending her life, from everything from arranging the funeral, to the way she goes, to her goodbye party, to sorting out her life. Isn't all that shite over when you die. She utterly resents that she has to do all of this planning. If she had more guts, she's let the establishment take her and do what they will, but she doesn't like not having control. Oh, Faith doesn't like not having control.
Topic Three - What has my character never understood:
Faith has never really understood what a loving relationship feels like - if she is brutally honest with herself. From growing up in a dysfuctional family, to her marriage, to her current situation, she cannot firstly understand why these people stand by her, but also what draws these people to her. She seems quite fluid about a lot of things, but love completely perplexes her. How it strikes immediately in some cases, but grows slowly in others. Maybe Faith is a little on the spectrum (aren't we all) or maybe she just doesn't trust herself enough to love fully. This is the rub. She cannot differentiate between great love and friend love. In her younger days she couldn't see the difference between sex and love.
Topic Four - What does Faith wish she knew this time last year:
Faith wishes she had more of a handle on her current situation. Under the new regime, you are responsible for everything in your life, and everything comes at a price. An accident saw her life change in a completely different direction a year ago which is how she's ended up in the position she finds herself in now. If she could see the accident and the strain it would put on her life, she would have maybe done a lot of things a lot differently. Maybe she would have tried to keep her marriage going - not travelled, not spent money on extraneous things - generally set her life up better. She may have also got some counselling over her pending situation, getting in the right head space to deal with having to shut down her life, as she is not coping that well. It's making her decisions at this point in time very erratic.
Topic Five: What does my character have?
Firstly, she has a sense of humour and a sense of the crazy - which is sort of helping her to laugh her way through the situation she's in. She has a couple of friend - Rachel, her old school friend being one. There is also Bede and Paraskevi. Bede is her mentor in this process, helping her through what she needs to do. Paraskevi is a man she meets soon after she starts the process of shutting down her life. He fascinates her and charms her in turn, giving her a glimpse of somethign she knows she can't have. These people help her navigate the complex emotions she's feeling about what she's about to do.
Faith also has a wit and intellect, a great cupboard full of Doc Marten boots, a cat called Edgar, a flat on the eighth floor overlooking a railway line, a job as a teacher. She has a sense of adventure and danger which she likes to exercise every so often.
Faith does not have faith - she's agnostic, not religious, seeing religion has been pretty much banned in this society.
Topic Six: What does my character want or need.
Faith wants to keep her life - but she's not sure how to to this.
She wants to feel attractive, not that she has ever really felt this.
She wants to stop the whole process of stopping her life.
She needs to find some equilibrium in her life
She wants to smoke marijuana and drink a hell of a lot, but she stops herself from doing this most of the time - she's had addiction problems in the past.
Faith wants her cat to go to a good home if something bad happens to her.
She needs to find a bit of control once she starts the process in motion.
She wants to get to know Paraskevi more, but he is being ellusive.
She wants to find out what her best friend's husband is up to - and she knows he's up to something.
She want's a flatter stomach and perkier boobs.
She wants the energy she had when she was in her twenties
She needs to reconcile herself with her current situation and how it is affecting her mental health.
She needs a hug.
She needs to talk to other people going through the same thing (Support group - hey yeah)
Topic Seven: What do I need.
I'm going to write this about me and writing - not my character.
I need bum glue - basically I need to discipline myself to sit down and write this bloody novel - and this is the crux of the matter. I have written a blog post every day this year, I can pomodoro myself 25 minutes a day to write some of this novel daily.
I need to have more confidence in myself - as I am great at talking myself out of things. I have to stop this.
I need faith that this whole coronavirus thing will come out and the world will be a better place.
I also need faith that somebody is going to like my writing enough to want to give me a contract at the end of it and I publish a successful book.
I need a cuddle from something more than a pussycat, even though the pussycat does give great cuddles on his own terms.
I need a trip away - again, will have to wait until this Coronavirus debarcle is over,
I need to continue to exercise daily - it does my head the world of good.
I currently needs some cheese on toast - I've been on a computer for most of the day.
I need to meditate more - even if it is meditation while I'm walking - I need to shut my brain down more.
I need to hoover more - I might sneeze less.
I need to go to bed soon.
Today's song:
So here are some notes from the Dev class.
And ideas use a notebook - this blog is my notebook.Writing every day is good practice.
Topic one - for one minute: Love (What does my character love)
Faith loves life. Just life, warts and all, without any pretention that she is doing it well and how badly she fucks up at it. She loves dogs and cats. More than anything else in the world.
Topic Two - two minutes: What does my character hate:
Faith hates that she has to take responsibility for ending her life, from everything from arranging the funeral, to the way she goes, to her goodbye party, to sorting out her life. Isn't all that shite over when you die. She utterly resents that she has to do all of this planning. If she had more guts, she's let the establishment take her and do what they will, but she doesn't like not having control. Oh, Faith doesn't like not having control.
Topic Three - What has my character never understood:
Faith has never really understood what a loving relationship feels like - if she is brutally honest with herself. From growing up in a dysfuctional family, to her marriage, to her current situation, she cannot firstly understand why these people stand by her, but also what draws these people to her. She seems quite fluid about a lot of things, but love completely perplexes her. How it strikes immediately in some cases, but grows slowly in others. Maybe Faith is a little on the spectrum (aren't we all) or maybe she just doesn't trust herself enough to love fully. This is the rub. She cannot differentiate between great love and friend love. In her younger days she couldn't see the difference between sex and love.
Topic Four - What does Faith wish she knew this time last year:
Faith wishes she had more of a handle on her current situation. Under the new regime, you are responsible for everything in your life, and everything comes at a price. An accident saw her life change in a completely different direction a year ago which is how she's ended up in the position she finds herself in now. If she could see the accident and the strain it would put on her life, she would have maybe done a lot of things a lot differently. Maybe she would have tried to keep her marriage going - not travelled, not spent money on extraneous things - generally set her life up better. She may have also got some counselling over her pending situation, getting in the right head space to deal with having to shut down her life, as she is not coping that well. It's making her decisions at this point in time very erratic.
Topic Five: What does my character have?
Firstly, she has a sense of humour and a sense of the crazy - which is sort of helping her to laugh her way through the situation she's in. She has a couple of friend - Rachel, her old school friend being one. There is also Bede and Paraskevi. Bede is her mentor in this process, helping her through what she needs to do. Paraskevi is a man she meets soon after she starts the process of shutting down her life. He fascinates her and charms her in turn, giving her a glimpse of somethign she knows she can't have. These people help her navigate the complex emotions she's feeling about what she's about to do.
Faith also has a wit and intellect, a great cupboard full of Doc Marten boots, a cat called Edgar, a flat on the eighth floor overlooking a railway line, a job as a teacher. She has a sense of adventure and danger which she likes to exercise every so often.
Faith does not have faith - she's agnostic, not religious, seeing religion has been pretty much banned in this society.
Topic Six: What does my character want or need.
Faith wants to keep her life - but she's not sure how to to this.
She wants to feel attractive, not that she has ever really felt this.
She wants to stop the whole process of stopping her life.
She needs to find some equilibrium in her life
She wants to smoke marijuana and drink a hell of a lot, but she stops herself from doing this most of the time - she's had addiction problems in the past.
Faith wants her cat to go to a good home if something bad happens to her.
She needs to find a bit of control once she starts the process in motion.
She wants to get to know Paraskevi more, but he is being ellusive.
She wants to find out what her best friend's husband is up to - and she knows he's up to something.
She want's a flatter stomach and perkier boobs.
She wants the energy she had when she was in her twenties
She needs to reconcile herself with her current situation and how it is affecting her mental health.
She needs a hug.
She needs to talk to other people going through the same thing (Support group - hey yeah)
Topic Seven: What do I need.
I'm going to write this about me and writing - not my character.
I need bum glue - basically I need to discipline myself to sit down and write this bloody novel - and this is the crux of the matter. I have written a blog post every day this year, I can pomodoro myself 25 minutes a day to write some of this novel daily.
I need to have more confidence in myself - as I am great at talking myself out of things. I have to stop this.
I need faith that this whole coronavirus thing will come out and the world will be a better place.
I also need faith that somebody is going to like my writing enough to want to give me a contract at the end of it and I publish a successful book.
I need a cuddle from something more than a pussycat, even though the pussycat does give great cuddles on his own terms.
I need a trip away - again, will have to wait until this Coronavirus debarcle is over,
I need to continue to exercise daily - it does my head the world of good.
I currently needs some cheese on toast - I've been on a computer for most of the day.
I need to meditate more - even if it is meditation while I'm walking - I need to shut my brain down more.
I need to hoover more - I might sneeze less.
I need to go to bed soon.
Today's song:
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